Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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BraveFig
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25 Mar 2023, 2:01 pm

Ok, as I've said before, I lurked on this forum for quite a while before I officially signed up, and as much as I like and appreciate having this community here for me to broaden my perspective and help give me some good second opinions, one of the things that profoundly disturbs me the most about this site is how recurrent themes of misogyny are on so many forum threads!! Like, I genuinely thought autism was this great unifier where no matter your gender, race, class or sexuality, we could all relate to ultimately having similar mental strengths and challenges, but so many times on this site, I just see guys coming together to bitterly and resentfully hate on women and complaining they have it so much worse than them, and s**t!! Like, where the hell is even the unity in all of that?! Like, I desperately don't wanna believe that most autistic guys are just incels if they're not genius savants at some particular skill set, like, I really don't wanna believe all the BS neurotypicals and allistics say about us, but there's just so much misogyny on this forum, that I don't wanna even know what it's like on other autism forums, since Wrong Planet is apparently one of the biggest autism & Asperger's forums on the internet!! Like, seriously, why does this site seem to attract so many misogynists?! Is it just a problem with Wrong planet, in particular, or is it a larger issue with guys in the autism & Asperger's community, in general?? Because, really?? Idk anymore, Idefk, I'm just so lost, hurt and confused, now, because I genuinely believed in this stupid fantasy of unity among all of the autistic community, but if so many autistic guys just hate on women this much, no matter what, Idek what to do or believe in, anymore. I just feel like this stupid naive fool, and I wanna cry just because Idk if there's just something wrong with Wrong Planet, with the greater autism & Asperger's community in general, or if there's just something wrong with me, period... :cry: :( :pale: :shaking: :huh: :wall:



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25 Mar 2023, 2:24 pm

I think it's just a reflection of life these days. Or a reflection of how life has always been, but just on the internet.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:29 pm

Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

Because men post here. Next question.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:31 pm

It’s always been like this, unfortunately. Just report offensive posts, and the mods will take care of it.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:36 pm

maybe i never noticed before but just recently there always seems to be arguments over gender which is a bit ironic for a site where everyones becoming non binary to be arguing about men vs women


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25 Mar 2023, 2:38 pm

I posted this answer on another thread, it might apply.

Autistic people don't really have all that much in common, a few things but when you get down to it there is probably at least as wide a range of personal experience as in any neurotypical community. In fact, I have become convinced autism isn't really a thing, rather it's a whole collection of things that affect different people in different degrees and are lumped together as "autism". Asperger's Syndrome does seem like a thing. Any group of people who have been diagnosed with AS are going to have similar experiences especially when grouped by gender (let's leave it at that). Unfortunately AS was discontinued as a formal diagnosis which has probably made things worse for some people.

In other words, have fun on Wrong Planet but don't expect everybody to be supportive.

On a positive note though: You do have friends here, probably way more than I do.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:39 pm

Caz72 wrote:
maybe i never noticed before but just recently there always seems to be arguments over gender which is a bit ironic for a site where everyones becoming non binary to be arguing about men vs women

A lot of people here have decided to identify as non-binary.


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Last edited by Cornflake on 25 Mar 2023, 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.: Removed an offensive comment

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25 Mar 2023, 2:45 pm

If you're talking about the posts in L&D, it's often a handful of members posting repeated threads about the same topic.

But don't let them get to you. Most of us *are* supportive.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:54 pm

Quote:
Autistic people don't really have all that much in common, a few things but when you get down to it there is probably at least as wide a range of personal experience as in any neurotypical community. In fact, I have become convinced autism isn't really a thing, rather it's a whole collection of things that affect different people in different degrees and are lumped together as "autism". Asperger's Syndrome does seem like a thing. Any group of people who have been diagnosed with AS are going to have similar experiences especially when grouped by gender (let's leave it at that). Unfortunately AS was discontinued as a formal diagnosis which has probably made things worse for some people.


I agree here. I don't have much in common with many Aspies, although I do feel at home here of course and thankfully accepted again, which is what matters the most.
But interest-wise, I don't share many interests with other Aspies here. Anime, Star Wars, videogames, sex, music, American politics, and gothic things seem to be fairly common interests among a lot of Aspies, but all that doesn't really interest me. (I like music but only generally the pop music that's played on the radio, and various others too, but a lot of the music people post here isn't my type).

I'm into British comedies or dramas, and drama-type movies, and writing drama-type autobiographies, and family/friends/work gossip, and teddy bears, and rats, and colouring scenic pictures, and just general life really, nothing too narrow or restricted.


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25 Mar 2023, 3:02 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Quote:
Autistic people don't really have all that much in common, a few things but when you get down to it there is probably at least as wide a range of personal experience as in any neurotypical community. In fact, I have become convinced autism isn't really a thing, rather it's a whole collection of things that affect different people in different degrees and are lumped together as "autism". Asperger's Syndrome does seem like a thing. Any group of people who have been diagnosed with AS are going to have similar experiences especially when grouped by gender (let's leave it at that). Unfortunately AS was discontinued as a formal diagnosis which has probably made things worse for some people.


I agree here. I don't have much in common with many Aspies, although I do feel at home here of course and thankfully accepted again, which is what matters the most.
But interest-wise, I don't share many interests with other Aspies here. Anime, Star Wars, videogames, sex, music, American politics, and gothic things seem to be fairly common interests among a lot of Aspies, but all that doesn't really interest me. (I like music but only generally the pop music that's played on the radio, and various others too, but a lot of the music people post here isn't my type).

I'm into British comedies or dramas, and drama-type movies, and writing drama-type autobiographies, and family/friends/work gossip, and teddy bears, and rats, and colouring scenic pictures, and just general life really, nothing too narrow or restricted.
OMG, that's awesome to find other people that watch British TV, too!! I'm younger and Canadian, so even though I like watching British TV because it helps me bond with my parents and my grandma, it also makes me feel like a complete weirdo, too, since it feels like not many other people around my age and in my generation, especially here in North America, watch, or even know, about the kinda British TV stuff I watch with my parents and Grandma, especially with my Mom!! :o 8O :D :) :P :oops:



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25 Mar 2023, 3:05 pm

Caz72 wrote:
maybe i never noticed before but just recently there always seems to be arguments over gender which is a bit ironic for a site where everyones becoming non binary to be arguing about men vs women


Even people who are non-binary can be misogynists/misandrists - it's not irony.


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25 Mar 2023, 3:09 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
If you're talking about the posts in L&D, it's often a handful of members posting repeated threads about the same topic.

But don't let them get to you. Most of us *are* supportive.
Thank you, friend, and I completely agree now that I've calmed down a bit more that L&D generally seems to have the bulk of the misogyny on this site, which is still very sad, but not quite as surprising and alarming as I first thought, tho. :D :) :roll: :mrgreen:



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25 Mar 2023, 3:15 pm

Recidivist wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
maybe i never noticed before but just recently there always seems to be arguments over gender which is a bit ironic for a site where everyones becoming non binary to be arguing about men vs women


Even people who are non-binary can be misogynists/misandrists - it's not irony.
Sadly, yeah; even if you currently identify as non-binary, if you your life experiences in the past are still largely confined to being raised as either stereo typically male or stereo typically female, there seems to be a greater danger that you'll end up developing either misogynistic or misandrist attitudes, if not both... :o :( :? :|



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25 Mar 2023, 3:15 pm

BraveFig wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
If you're talking about the posts in L&D, it's often a handful of members posting repeated threads about the same topic.

But don't let them get to you. Most of us *are* supportive.
Thank you, friend, and I completely agree now that I've calmed down a bit more that L&D generally seems to have the bulk of the misogyny on this site, which is still very sad, but not quite as surprising and alarming as I first thought, tho. :D :) :roll: :mrgreen:


Do yourself a favour, stay out of (L)oathing & (D)angerous, there are plenty of decent areas here with nice posters.


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25 Mar 2023, 3:26 pm

BraveFig wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
If you're talking about the posts in L&D, it's often a handful of members posting repeated threads about the same topic.

But don't let them get to you. Most of us *are* supportive.
Thank you, friend, and I completely agree now that I've calmed down a bit more that L&D generally seems to have the bulk of the misogyny on this site, which is still very sad, but not quite as surprising and alarming as I first thought, tho. :D :) :roll: :mrgreen:


Don't fool yourself. There's definitely a lot of misogyny in L&D, and I don't deny that for a second. There's also a history of misandry too -- it's by Incels against "good men" and even against themselves when they post how terrible it is to be a man, or they tell each other they'll never find a girlfriend if they don't shave (for example). They try to call that misogyny but it's actually men hating other men in some sort of bizarre, toxic-masculinity / political competition, but they'll never admit it. There's also misandry against men by some members who refuse to be accountable for their own egregious sexism, transphobia, or misanthropy, but that's another topic for another day. My advice would be to steer clear of L&D unless you have a very specific question and you see a productive conversation in progress. Otherwise, you're likely better to post in The Haven where you can't be attacked for your gender, whatever that may be.


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25 Mar 2023, 3:47 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
It’s always been like this, unfortunately. Just report offensive posts, and the mods will take care of it.


I forgot to say that. ^ Great point. The mods are very helpful and responsive to reports of misogyny or any other sexism including transphobia. When I suggested The Haven I didn't mean for you to just ignore any problem posts / posters you might notice in L&D. Please speak up if and when needed. Your observations and input are both valued here.


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