Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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One of the biggest problem areas in L&D from my own perspective, is if people post: "It's so much easier for women (people with a V), because they can get partners a lot easier than men."

We've talked about this ad nauseam and I know you don't say it yourself TGI. You're quite respectful of women. It's just a harmful notion that I wish could be outright banned or not allowed. That one assertion leads to a majority of the gender-based friction here. It sounds (and is) invalidating to women.

Maybe the women who read that comment aren't attracting men despite trying, and that makes them feel like there's something wrong with them. Maybe they've attracted too many men or even one wrong man, and it causes trauma flashbacks. Maybe they're trying to get away from creepy men or creepy trolls right now. Maybe they have a partner, who's giving them the opposite message although it's equally abusive: "If you leave me, no other man will ever want you!!" Maybe the message IS correct, and the woman has no trouble finding partners but if she says so on the forum, everyone will think she's a slut and her comment will invalidate other women's struggles. Maybe the comment will involve statistics which hurt women in other ways, like saying they're gold diggers or they only want tall and handsome men with a six pack. That's against the rules because it's generalising about all women even when people add in the obligatory "some women" to get away with it. Maybe they don't even want to date men, or they like women, but the comment still makes women seem objectified. Who wants to be told that someone will want them no matter what, just based on their gender (e.g., their genitals?)

It's all a huge Catch-22. Just because women MIGHT get more attention in the dating market it doesn't mean they want it, or that the attention is healthy and safe. Men don't have to worry about being ... penetrated. Sorry to be graphic but it's true. They don't have to worry about falling pregnant. They don't have to worry about spending 20+ years on their own, raising a child from some dude they met online. They don't have to worry about Honour Killings if their family believes in such a practice. They don't have to worry about being conned and manipulated for their naivete, like many autistic women are. They don't have to worry about stats that say they have a high chance of being physically beaten or even killed by their partner. Yes these things might happen to men sometimes but nowhere near the extent to which they happen for women, and specifically autistic women who read these posts.

I think if we could get away from "It's so easy for women!" it would do a lot to show empathy and concern for women. That in itself would go a long way toward repairing the problems between men and women in LD.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.
Margaret Atwood

Exactly. I've posted this before but didn't want to resort to it again.

Now I'll just blame you.

I know from experience that dating is certainly a challenge when you’ve experienced violence and/or threats of violence. It’s beyond frustrating when people in L&D claim that women have an easier time finding partners. Is finding an abusive partner better than nothing to these people?

We are all unique individuals not abstract statistics.

It’s like some people want special treatment because they have a penis or something. We are people first and foremost. I don’t think a penis would make lonely people even more lonely.

And we come back to square one. This is the truth that I also experienced when in my 20s (and I was a good looking guy with a job). To use one of the poster's language my experiences are dismissed and belittled because it does not fit in with certain members' preconceived notions

I think the solution to the "misogyny" claims is simple. Ditch the L&D forum and Just create a "Mens thread" which is only fair since there is a "Women's thread" on WP.

No, one is dismissing or belittling your experience. Just don’t use your experience to dismiss and belittle others’ experiences.

Once again, I find the lack of empathy fascinating.

Our experiences shouldn’t be relegated to a women’s support thread.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 31 Mar 2023, 7:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Correct me if I'm wrong.
Don't you have an autistic daughter?

How can you post crap like this? ^

Do you or don't you realise this entire site is for everyone regardless of gender?

Do you think some of us belong in a tiny closet somewhere, defined by gender?

Do you or don't you realise men troll women for sex in the "Women's thread", too?

Last edited by Cornflake on 01 Apr 2023, 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removed quote of a removed sexist comment

QFT

I'm all for scrapping the women's thread.

I don't use it anyway since I'm not defined by my gender.

How about a Human Beings' Forum? Oh wait .... We already have that!

How about we treat everyone equally ffs???

This is how real men act.

I just don’t get the lack of compassion. We are all human beings. Having a penis shouldn’t entitle one to special treatment. Many humans know what loneliness feels like. It doesn’t need to be a men vs. women thing. IMO, making it so is utterly absurd.

^^

Even though I love gender, I still get bored at reading all these men Vs women posts in L&D, if I do even bother to read anything there that is. Nothing there offends me though. The only thing that does offend me is when people say that people over 30 are no longer attractive. What's that all about?

You can love gender all you want.
I'm not saying gender shouldn't exist.
I'm saying certain people should stop making dating troubles into a gender war.
We can respect men's concerns, women's concerns, everyone's concerns.

As it is, certain men want compassion but continually tell women their observations don't count.

When's the last time you saw men responding to women's abuse / trauma stories without exploiting or invalidating them, or saying it's still worse to be a man who can't get a date?

I do, and her only friends are teenage boys in her class. 16-17 year old girls in her school are currently subjecting her to 24-7 bulling and use nearly every single type of flaw they can dig up (or make up) she might have to berate and bully her in the playground, in the classroom, on excursions, on the school bus and at sport's events, The latter is most sad since she was (ironically) elected a sports captain for cross country running. She had a brief popularity because she's good at sport but that was only a brief respite as the jealous little jezebels couldn't leave my daughter alone.

We protect our daughter now by identifying the little b*****s who send her hate mail via email/social media and have now managed to block them. So at least when she's home she doesn't have to be scared of them,

Last edited by Cornflake on 01 Apr 2023, 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removed a sexist comment