Why do some feel the need to control other's speech

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Particularly if a loved one complains about them, venting steam rather than saying everything to their face. It's like, I suppose in writing if the control freak is snooping, looking for things to get offended about, it's worse than hearsay since it's more certain; yet it's like, so what? Everyone complains about each other, especially when there's no route to address grievances complaining is a basic method of coping, but instead of allowing free speech they punish any complaints like a tyrant.

Ego.
People's egos hurt when they're criticized, especially criticism they're not comfortable hearing.