Welcome to the Era of Optimisation Dating

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https://www.vice.com/en/article/4a3dew/ ... ket-newtab

Okay? Is this necessarily a bad thing?

No. Just welcoming you to the era!

« Computer, optimize my dating prospects »

**beep**
Computer: « Scaling vertically or horizontally? »

Not much of a surprise to me. Lots of dating sites had screening questions, quizes, &/or search categories when I used em 12 to 20 years ago. This seems like the next level of that. I bet even if I fit all of someone's criteria on paper & officially seemed like a great match, most people would end up rejecting me rite after these steps 1ce finding out about my unique qualities. Besides some people are not very honest with themselves when seeking a partner. They claim certain things matter to them but they'll reject potential partners who fit that & end up falling for someone who does not fit that at all.

Pre-screening before committing to a meeting makes perfect sense to me.  However, in this era of social platforms, it may be just as easy to spend an hour or two checking out a prospect's Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube accounts.

Completely agree. It also makes sense to want to meet sooner rather than later to avoid wasting time & getting hurt feelings by getting involved with a catfish or someone who's just not that serious.

I think there is still something to be said for blind dates without screening and IRL, no matter how trying it can be but I came of age literally the year most adults born after 1980 thought that online dating was the non-creepy, most efficient way to go about it; the former is not true BTW. Get to know people you have not screened out by your own biases.

The main issue I had with online dating was that I would get a ton of dates, far more than the typical NT, but it would be one and done. I think there were only 2 that were interested in more than that. I wish sites would score people based on how consistent their profile is with what they respond to. Mostly as a way of saving everybody involved some time as there's not much point in messaging somebody that wants something completely different.

I do think that we're probably headed for an era of actual matchmaking like in olden times as people in general are pretty bad in terms of knowing what they want with enough clarity to communicate.

Maybe we will go back to arranged marriages. Then Aspies might have a chance!!

Given that such a large portion of "love" marriages wind up in divorce, I'm not sure that NTs are really that good at choosing either. Arranged marriages served our species well for millennia. They aren't without their problems, but when done by people with a genuine interest in the happiness of the people getting married, and with a good amount of knowledge about them, it can work very well.

Despite my marriage being a catastrophe, I still believe that love is the inevitable result of investing yourself in somebody else's well being. I just failed to consider the possibility that there are people who get outright hostile and mean when people are nice to them and repay the kindness with cruelty.