One Way To Spot An Unsafe Person

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Well said! I can think of a few people that fits!

Another one would be when these people impy that are the the one with the problem

What? I think you were autocorrected.

@All: There is a difference between 'Unsafe' and 'Unpleasant'.

A person with only poor social or verbal skills is unpleasant.

A person who also abuses, exploits, or threatens others is unsafe.

I was (and still am) the family scapegoat. I’ve been no contact with my brothers for the past 12 years.

Yes exactly. And autistic people are mistaken for unsafe when we might only be unpleasant

I'm talking about people who are actually harmful to others. Or I was trying to, anyway.

Harms animals.

Yes, there is research to show that people who abuse animals often go on to abuse humans too. By that I mean murdering and/or becoming serial killers.

So they are definitely all round dangerous.

Correction People imply that you are the one with the problem when it's really them who do. These kinds of people ones who like to pick fights with you.

haha, I wondered what you meant! Yes indeed. Picking fights for no reason.

This comes close to what went through my head reading the post that started this thread. My wife sometimes gets outraged by others, without considering their point of view at all, and gets similarly annoyed with me if she feels I am not sufficiently taking her side. To her, that means I am being insensitive and disloyal. But I am a temperamental optimist with a very strong sense of fairness, and would certainly want someone to tell me if they thought I was judging someone else unfairly.

To me, always having someone's back does not require agreeing with everything they say or do. We can question a loved one's particular words or deeds without that being any kind of attack on their character -- even though they may mistake the one for the other. I want people to do that for me if they feel it is warranted.

I think there's a way to do it so that the person who is close to you feels supported and you can still let them know they were wrong in some way. I would start by saying something supportive first, not untrue, but just an affirmation that you are on their side. And then, once they feel safe and supported, you can go on to point out whatever you feel was incorrect about what they did or said. (But still do it tactfully, though for me that's easier said than done.)

Yes, that is not what I meant at all. A good friend should be able to question what we do if they think it wasn't right or sensible. If it's not clear cut right and wrong.

The examples I gave in my first post were ones where I was innocent yet the friend/relative immediately (and consistently) jumped to the defence of the person who had hurt me. People who constantly (with no exceptions) side with others against me are not friends.

As I said, the man who drove into my fence and gate was doing the wrong thing, I was innocent. The fence and gate were written off and completely broken. He wasn't injured, neither was his car. It was just my property which was destroyed. I should have called the police.

Defending someone you don't even know and isn't even there is just plain weird. You sympathise with the person you know, not some random stranger.

And making excuses when nursery workers let your granddaughter fall and severely injure herself...that is plain weird too. Many people would take the nursery workers to court.