One thing I've always wanted is unattainable; another family

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I mean, sure, I can hypothetically start my own family, but as I haven't been in a relationship in years even that seems very remote... but is the average person on non-speaking terms with their 'former' family? Sibling decided I'm not worth it anymore after they themselves screwed up on something I was trying to do, hasn't talked to me in about a year (which means I end up not talking to their daughter, either, not for any reason directly related to the person), and mother I occasionally talked to (her husband not for over a decade) until a couple of months ago, but then decided that it's sweet to bootlick her husband, who was abusive, to me in chat, so I was blunt with my descriptions of what she was doing and she decided to not bother responding, either...

So... yeah, I wish there was an online service to swipe for families or something, at least that's something for dating, but it's so unfair that randomly birth families can be abusively dysfunctional, or not...

With regards to talking to anyone, I'm literally just down to one friend (had someone online I chatted with often for two years too before she decided she didn't want to anymore for some strange reason) who barely seems to want to chat for a couple of hours every two weeks, so at this point I wouldn't be surprised if I forgot how to talk in the future...

Yes I too kind of miss my earlier childhood when there were always people in the house. Not that it was always cordial, and that rather spoiled a lot of it. And although I've been married a few times, I can't say I've much enjoyed the company of many of the relatives I acquired that way. Sometimes I think it would be good to be in a small tribe, but I expect I'd have problems with that too. One thing's clear - I don't like being alone for days on end.

Other than cardiology issues I do not have much in common with my family. But we're family and old enough to be polite to each other.

But I found a second family by joining a social organization that fit me reasonably well. Going to some of its events produced a few long-term friends.

this is very familiar to me. alienated from blood family, but needing to find family of the heart.

Volunteering for a service group can help make friends, help to build houses, repair homes for those who can't themselves, bring baked goods to the local seniors center, old folks home, childrens home, homeless shelter, recovery groups..... volunteer for the big brother/big sister programs or youth groups, volunteer at a local soup kitchen, help out at a resale shop, pet rescue.
You will likely find people with loving hearts and more willing to reach out than in many other sorts of organizations.
Don't be afraid to talk and interact with older and younger folks, not just your own age group.

Families can be made of all sorts. It might not happen over night, but you will make connections and find others of your own heart. I think there are many others out there, if we reach out, who only need somebody to show they care.
Family of the heart can be much stronger and better than families of the blood.

That's an optimistic way of viewing how it might turn out... I won't do anything now due to covid, but a decade ago I tried this sort of volunteering everyone seems to think is a guarantee to happiness, and... every single thing I tried was horrid... some place wanted me underground sorting out stuff with barely any air, another place where supposedly people who help others with computers was needed weren't really needed, and it turned out those others I could overhear being prejudiced and whatnot, so I merely never returned... I think I even tried to volunteer in some place with animals, but cleaning up faeces isn't entertaining by itself, and the place was far away, so... finding a "family of the heart" must be as rare as a lottery, which I suppose birth families kind of are too, and I've been so lucky on that front...

But, seriously, my reactions are so strange... I've recently seen some video of some father mistakenly spraying pepper in his home as he thought it was some freshener, which ended up with his entire family coughing (and laughing)... and I envied that, as if somehow my goal in life is to inhale pepper...

the thing that finally made most connections for me (after I was diagnosed at age 68- its never too late) was joining Facebook interest groups. I have a couple intense interests and love to learn more about those, and also share info about them with others. I had to join quite a few and left most of them because of social discomfort, but I began to make connections with others in my area and after a while a few decided to get together "in person" for a meal and to do an interest related activity together. I skipped the meal due to sensory stuff, but participated on the edges of the activity. I picked out a couple of others on the edges and made some comments to them, it seemed like they were glad I spoke to them , a relief. So we chatted and figured out who was who online together, then went ahead and enjoyed the activity. One person I met later approached me because he wanted to learn more about a specific topic that I am especially enthusiastic about. They asked to meet to do our activity together, so I met up with them and shared info. Others meet up from time to time out of that same group, and over about 8 years time ( I know that sounds like a long time) I now have a circle of about 10 buddies to meet up with to do an interest related activity. Over that time we have all learned more about each other and have extended our activities ( a few of us) to visiting each others homes, meeting to share various related activities, etc. I have never had friends before. Learning more about my autism and better understanding the things that I can and can't do socially, seems to have been a key. I can't force myself to go to a bar, restaurant, dance, game(sports etc) a mall, etc. I built friendships on sharing the same interest. If you have a certain intense interest, and you don't want to meet anybody in person because of Covid, there are many interest groups online that you can participate in. Meeting outdoors or in a non crowded place may work for you too, depending on the interest/activity. Its a lot more difficult and emotionally scary than the comfort of not trying and just saying " I can't". I hope you can find a way to get courage to try. Nothing risked, nothing gained. But the rewards are a lot better than the same old sadness, feeling lonely and alone. I wish you the same peace and happiness I have found. Something I never believed I would ever have, either.
PS you did not say how long you have known about your being autistic. I'm curious.

I've always felt different from the rest of my family. We knew two German families and I felt that I would have fit in with any of those two families better. My mother also babysat three kids from the same family. I thought it would have been fun to live with those kids.

Since 18... actually fought them verbally back then, assuming that everything they were concluding were just cliches, but it turns out it's likely the least of my problems... even if I wasn't my family would have been as dysfunctional, but who knows in the end if I could have had any life other than one where I'm virtually rotting away alone while (barely) alive... actually had a relationship, somehow, a decade ago, but it's been so long now it's like from another world... it's just one friendl(ier) cat now, and a grumpier one who doesn't care about ripping one's face off if held for too long (and yet has the cutest meow)...

I make my own families.
I have my sports family, my work family, my in-law family, meet up family, trivia family, fb family and WP family, so far.

The UK band I sometimes play in has been known to refer to itself as a family, and that's not without validity. We don't get together very often but we go back a long way (1979), and the bonds between us don't seem any weaker than the bonds between me and some of my blood relatives.