It takes energy to play, to imagine, I don't have energy

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Yeah, call this a complaint, a grumble, a frustration, a vent.
It takes energy to even just play, to just imagine.
Even to merely sit and imagine.

I don't have energy.
Thanks to 3 different chronic and/or autoimmune diseases which among other effects gang up to cut the amount of energy your body even CAN produce, all the way down at the mitochondrial level.


Have someone from Hometown Homecare coming for 3 hours tomorrow to help keep up housekeeping ahead of an inspection by the housing assistance agency middle of month.

I've poked along here and there at a few small things today.
Would like to do more but my spine is being iffy and my hands are being puffy, stiff, and painful.
(and doing this computer is totally NOT lessening the hand trouble)
(well why not get one of those voice-activation, speech to type, programs, systems?)
(because those same diseases make my voice come and go)
(there is no point calling my Dad where he is in hospital today as he wouldn't be able to hear me)

While taking a break between things was flipping through the pages of this,
(an activity which also is not lessening the hand trouble)


And wishing I could imagine scenes and characters and ships and stories like I used to so easily do.
And so deeply enjoy doing.
Nope.
Brain needs energy to create, to invent, to imagine, to envision, things.
Body says, nope, not enough energy.
(and on top of that I need to save enough energy to be able to direct the helper tomorrow)

Had a spurt of energy just now upon remembering some stuff relevant to a fun thread here about conspiracy theories.
And ...
After burning that energy I need a nap.
And a pain med.
Goodnight.

Maybe you need a muse.

Could be.
Still requires having a body which produces enough physical and mental energy to make use of the inspiration.

My brother just stopped by for a half hour break from driving to go help our parents with several things for several days and even the adrenaline from the excitement of that didn't overcome the energy deficit from the mitochondrial problems.