Curious how many of you feel that most people don't like you

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ToughDiamond
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02 Jun 2023, 6:35 pm

I don't often feel that most people actively dislike me, but I do often feel that they aren't especially fond of me. I suppose most people have a rather mainstream ideology going on, and that puts up barriers between me and them. So it's probably not surprising if most people don't especially like me. I think the ones I'm close to care quite a bit about me.



Edna3362
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02 Jun 2023, 7:29 pm

stratozyck wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
As a child, I rationally knew people do not like me or will not like me. Rationally accept the fact.

Emotionally, unfortunately, is not the case. Irrationally not accepting the fact.



I wish my rational and conscious conclusions matches this emotional irrational nuisance. :x
Does anyone else knew what this means? And how to actually solve it?


well, what helped me was getting married and having kids hah. I also have pets.

I dont' think it will be solved. It seems everyone else gets a fundamental joy out of being with people because there is a positive feedback loop.

When I was in school there was a guy that had the same birthday as me and everyone knew this. Everyone in school went overboard wishing him a happy bd and no one ever said anything about mine.

I could be offended, but I just got over it I guess.

How to never have the reaction to begin with?

What irks me are these people who acts as if everyone has a choice with how they feel and react.

I want a choice to disregard it as an option, respectfully accept and be at peace at it forever -- not stay as another 'lack' or a stupid hung up.

My problem is not with people and my relationship towards them.
My problem are these reactions that do cause the dislike.

What I want is not them to accept whatever flaw -- what I want is for me to accept it and get over it.

Yet I couldn't.
Instead I expect being persecuted and scorned over something so fricking petty -- despite not happening.

And if it did, I just want to stop being a person who dodges and denies it, pay the damn price and consequences.
I want to consciously accept and take it, not being too busy whining about it and feeling guilty. I hate my subconscious.

The worst part is the executive dysfunction and all the unintentional spill ups.

I want to get over this stupid program in my head and stop being stupid irrational by pretending it's my conscience.


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cyberdad
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02 Jun 2023, 7:51 pm

I think "don't like" might be over-stretching things. People who really know me generally tolerate my occasional lack of a filter.

I have experienced in my 20s and early 30s (back in the 1980s/90s) relationships with people (male and female) which somewhere between "Friends" and "Seinfeld". I have been in arrangements where I rented property with people I did not know (this was quite challenging). I think I was more sociable/friendly back then.

Since getting married I have no longer have close friends, but acquaintances whom I catch up every so often.

My daughter on the other hand is certainly experiencing what other people have in this thread. I was picking her up and school and she walked up to her best friend and asked if she get a photo/selfie and I could see her friend embarrassed about doing it in front of other school kids. At school depending on the kid, some range from tolerate to don't like all the way to I hate you.



PhosphorusDecree
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02 Jun 2023, 7:58 pm

People who actually know me tend to either like me or be neutral. People who don't know me tend to judge me. Mind you, the city where I live now has a much more positive social culture than the toxic cesspool full of cannibalistic crabs I grew up in. After I moved, it took me several years to unwind from the constant defensive crouch.


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CockneyRebel
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02 Jun 2023, 9:09 pm

I know that most people don't like me and I don't let it bother me. Most people don't know me enough to like or hate me.


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DanielW
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02 Jun 2023, 9:34 pm

In an office environment, I tend to be "Tolerated" rather than "Liked". It used to bother me more than it does now though.



jimmyjazzuk
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03 Jun 2023, 5:03 am

These people are often trying to sus us out, they're not sure about us because perhaps we keep our cards close to our chest. That is in my experience at least.



hmk66
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13 Jun 2023, 2:38 pm

Most people I meet are friendly at first sight. Others think that they have to be unfriendly to me with no clear reason. I try to find out why they are. At workplace it is possible that my boss is behind it (although my boss is friendly but only socially okay. They do have an agenda behind my back, though).

As I said most people I meet are friendly. A fair part of them don't like me. That is not obvious, because they are socially okay but do have their thoughts about me. When I remember everything they say, they do, what body language they show, I discover that they are treacherous, although I trusted them. Maybe they don't like me, because I remember everything, literally everything. I am blessed with a very good memory and with very high intelligence. So they try to fool me. Is it jealousness? Is it because they want to be able to do things that I just can? I don't know; I have no clue.



skibum
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13 Jun 2023, 7:28 pm

I know for sure that most people don't like me. I am definitely tolerated rather than liked. It's always been that way for me.


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