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shortfatbalduglyman
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29 Jul 2023, 9:24 am

What kind of problems have you had with dating?

What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?



IsabellaLinton
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29 Jul 2023, 12:18 pm

Among three partners:

- Married me so he could divorce me and take my house
- Locked me out of my house
- Locked me out of a motel room at 3 am with no phone or wallet
- Physically hit me
- Pushed me down the stairs when I was pregnant (we were married by then)
- Stole money from my kids' birthday cards
- Poured grape juice in my son's XBox and blamed it on him
- Stole my kids' electronics and pawned them
- Killed my dog
- Tried to pimp me out
- Took me to swingers' clubs so he could be with men
- Dated other people behind my back (always another man / gay situation)
- Framed me so that police would break down my door
- Got drunk and passed out instead of picking me up from a work trip
- Left me standing on a corner waiting with my suitcase
- Oh, and it was my birthday ^
- Forgot my birthday, year after year after year
- Bought a huge dildo for me on my 30th birthday so I could do HIM with it
- Took my daughter's hamster to a food store and let it go in the bread aisle
- Spread rumours about me at work hoping I'd lose my job
- Hacked into my email and bank accounts
- Made fun of how I look, my face, my clothes, my makeup, my mannerisms
- Told me about other women who wanted to beat me up
- Put me in situations where I was alone with those women
- Punished and bullied my kids any time I did something wrong (blackmail)
- Drove drunk and hit a girl on her bike
- Threatened to kill me
- Tried to kill me

You know, your basic run-of-the-mill stuff.



Misslizard
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29 Jul 2023, 1:14 pm

I don’t.No one could put up with me and I couldn’t deal with them.
Going to die alone and that’s just fine.


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Caz72
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29 Jul 2023, 1:20 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of problems have you had with dating?

What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?


when i was 33 my sons father took my drugs and alcohol away and kept teasing me with them not letting me have them which is distressing for an addict even tho it done me a favour but he was doing it to be cruel
then he raped me several times til i got pregnant because after not having alcohol or drugs for a while i fell pregnant but i wasnt planning on having a baby
while i was pregnant he locked me up in a cupboard sometimes and abused me

cut long story short my dad somehow tracked me down and rescued me and the guy got arrested

he hated women but still wanted sex so thats why he got me to have as a sex object
he loved the baby but if he had been a girl i dont think he would

just crazy in the head


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Cornflake
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29 Jul 2023, 4:03 pm

 ! Cornflake wrote:
Several posts have been removed, along with the responses to them.

Misogyny and incel behavior are not welcome on WP.


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TwilightPrincess
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29 Jul 2023, 4:40 pm

I’ve experienced date rape.

I have trouble perceiving interest and red flags although that’s gotten much better. I’ve struggled with shyness and selective mutism. Occasionally, I turn people into stone.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 29 Jul 2023, 4:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

racheypie666
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29 Jul 2023, 4:47 pm

Once I went out for drinks with a friend from work and at the end he said something like 'I'd like to do this again, I'd be really happy if you would too.' I said sure.


A little while later it transpired that:
a) it had been a date
b) he thought we were now dating

He got all cross with me because I wasn't replying to his texts etc., and I said I like my space, and he said (sarcastically), 'oh don't worry about me then, I'm only your boyfriend.'

Presumably I missed some pretty big social cues or implications there lol. It was actually pretty horrible at the time.



In terms of real dating, I think I have difficulty feeling attached. That's probably my biggest failure point, although maybe my partner could think of some worse ones.



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29 Jul 2023, 5:44 pm

racheypie666 wrote:
Presumably I missed some pretty big social cues or implications there lol.


Before I joined the internet I would have said , yes , you missed big social cues. Having read a lot of toxicity on the internet you probably missed f*ck all apart from the guy being delulu.

I saw a reddit post where a guy thought he'd been dating someone for 6 fecking years but he wasn't WTF

Maybe read this with a pinch of salt https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/co ... _years_he/

Quite a few posts like this on Reddit :roll:


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29 Jul 2023, 6:10 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of problems have you had with dating?


I doubled booked a night with a best friend and first date with my current GF , I couldn't decide who to cancel so we all went bowling :lol:

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?


Apart from getting wankered I cant think of anything atm

Oh! I just remembered. One night stand, back to mine, told me she loved me while we were f*cking - eek! 8O


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Fnord
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29 Jul 2023, 10:43 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of problems have you had with dating?
Oh, the usual:

• Lack of employment, money, and transportation

• Lack of social experience

• Lack of prospective dates

• The weirdest part was that the same women who refused to date me expressed jealousy when I finally met someone who wanted to date me

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?
Again, the usual:

• Showed up late

• Insisted on bringing a friend or relative

• Displayed poor table manners

• Treated the date like a job interview ("Wanted: Husband.  No experience necessary.  Will train . . .")

:roll:


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nick007
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30 Jul 2023, 6:03 am

Fnord wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of problems have you had with dating?
Oh, the usual:

• Lack of employment, money, and transportation

• Lack of social experience

• Lack of prospective dates

• The weirdest part was that the same women who refused to date me expressed jealousy when I finally met someone who wanted to date me
I never really done the dating thing because of those reasons. I met all 3 of my girlfriends online & we kinda skipped the dating step due to us being long distance. Things were serious by the time we met up. I got rejected every time I tried asking out women I knew offline & most women on dating sites ignored me.

In regards to your last problem Fnord, I've had a woman on a dating & friendship site tell me that she wanted to be friends when I reached out to her. After we chatted for about a week I made a comment about trying another dating site & she got upset & quit chatting with me. I can only guess that "Lets be friends" really meant "Lets start as friends while I decide if we could be more or not & in the meantime you better stay focused on me" :shrug: This is why I'm probably a lot better off with women on the spectrum. They tend to be a lot more direct & no translator is required to understand what they really mean or for them to understand I had no hidden meanings or agenda.



shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?
Like I said, all 3 of my relationships started online & we didn't really do the dating thing but my exes did do some things within our relationship that I had problems handling.

My 1st was trying to stop drinking & doing drugs when we got together but she kinda started slipping back into old habits after a while. We would normally chat everyday but I started not hearing from her for a day or so because she was got f#cked-up. She was getting drugs from her ex & towards the end of our relationship she admitted to giving him a BJ for coke. Ironically at the time she did that I was spending the weekend hanging out with my cousin at her apartment & I coulda had sex with one of her roommates who probably felt sorry for me but I turned her down due to being in the relationship.

I'm not saying that my 2nd did anything wrong but our relationship felt very one-sided to me due to her focusing on college & being dependent on her parents who wanted things on their terms. I started feeling like she was in charge & didn't respect or value my input & concerns. I also started feeling pushed away & like she was a much higher priority for me than I was to her. I guess things kinda had to be that way & our relationship was not sustainable.

I cant think of any major problems or issues I've had with my current girlfriend till after we moved in together & that's not really relevant to this thread.


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Stalk
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30 Jul 2023, 7:16 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of problems have you had with dating?

Erectile dysfunction.

Not paying attention, cannot multitask.

Anxiety, unable to communicate my needs and wants effectively, fearing the outcome.

Not feeling good enough. Depression.

I have broken off contact with my "parents" because they are narcissistic. So it explains why I date narcissistic people because that is what I know. The issue here is, most people I meet insists that they must meet my parents. I cannot do that.

I'm straightforward and comes off as "arrogant" and "rude". I'm simply speaking my truth and giving the other person a choice.

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
What kind of bad and wrong things did your date do?

They don't show up at all. They "ghost" you. zero communication after setting time and place to meet. They are narcissistic. Strings me along. I don't think this is neurotically behaviour, I'm sure at some point in time that narcissists will be moved to the spectrum of "high functioning".

They dump me, I wish them the best. Then they claim they tried calling me "to clear things up", but there is nothing on my list of miss calls.

They order the most expensive food on the menu, when I said lets meet for coffee.

They smash my belongings or do not respect it.

They steal from me.

They call my parents, again another narcissistic trait. To manipulate me into doing something they want.

They belittle me, they criticise me.

Make me feel bad, simply for being born with a penis and is white skinned.

They don't respect me, they don't make it feel like a two street where both give and receive. One sided.

Not being straight forward, using manipulation tactics to "force me to choose" what they want. Instead of giving me a choice and being OK with it.

They just want to have fun. When I said I am seeking long-term.