Aspies, dating and cheating

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we were still dating at the time and he was currently married.


you do the math.

Objectively, people have been placed into the worst possible situations where murder doesn't leave ones' mind, said people never murdered. Hence, it's not true.

As I said, perhaps I'm not as forgiving as I "should" be; the "universal" forgiving in itself, is a form of self-righteousness.

But other circumstances MIGHT have pushed
them to it. Or, in other words, everyone has
their price.

Ah, I'm not suggesting to forgive for the
sake of forgiving, but to do so for the sake
of love. People err. If they were worthy of
love, they are also worthy of forgiveness.

I don't see what math has to do with it.
But, I guess I can see you being upset.
Still, the age issue itself, and marital status
seem unimportant. The cheating IS relevant
however.

The age is just wierd....The fact that you can date someone else who is within the confines of marriage, uh, thats a pretty big one. Marriage beyond all the social and spiritual BS is a legal contract between two people. You are telling me it is ok to break a legal contract? Cheating, and then cheating with a person who was married, who was also cheating on their wife? Riiiight.

yea you did. Thats what a marriage license and vows are for.

Gotta sign it(in most states).


It is a legal contract.

The religious and moral obligations are a salient (but separate) issue.

One can make their own vows, so that's irrelevant.
But, THEY don't matter. The license, on the other hand,
says nothing about obligations which are essentially moral
in nature, and should be interpreted differently. THIS is why
I oppose marriage (along with the fact that my ideal relationship
would not be formalizable in my country).

Hi, to the aspie guy w/ the cheating chicks. I am an aspie chick, and I think what your problem is, is that girls who are attracted to you are ADHD types who are not grounded. You ARE NOT dating "normies"/NTs, believe me, "normies" usually run for the hills when they get a whiff of our intense energy. If someone is attracted to you, you can pretty much bet that they are not a normie themself. But, here, awareness is the key. You can find a girl who will not cheat on you, but she has to have some awareness of her ADHD "getting bored easily" type of M.O. (That is usually why people cheat) Find someone who has some other type of way to get more dopamine into her system. Maybe you could date a shopaholic or someone who has a deep absorbing interest in insects or French Monastery Life in the 14th century.
It doesn't matter how well you treat someone (as you said you treated them well) The problem w/ you in those situations, is that after awhile you were not their newest "toy" anymore and many ADHD type people are dopamine deficient and "new" stuff or "new" experiences give dopamine and stimulation, so you have to find a girl who gets her "new" stuff/experience dopamine release stimulation from things other than having sex w/ people who are not her boyfriend.
Don't feel bitter about the women. They just have short attention spans (which is pretty common for ADHD/ hence, part of the reason why its called attention deficit) These women just need to realize whats going on and get meds to help release more dopamine into the system (I take Wellbutrin and like it very well/ although anyone reading this should consult their dr on whether to take meds or what meds to take, since everyone's system is different) Anyway, to get more dopamine, the women can take psych meds, snort crystal meth (not recommended at all if you value your brain and your teeth, but due to the bs redtape of the whole confounded US medical industry, much easier and quicker/no scrip requd. and sometimes cheaper to get than actual "Legal psych meds" that would be more relative to fixing the problem and not damage your brain or teeth) or the women could get more dopamine by smoking (also easier and cheaper than psych meds/ side effects: brown teeth and smelly clothes and hair, not to mention possible minor troubles caused by death from lung cancer) or women could get more dopamine by buying "new" things ad infinitum because its not about the having, its about the getting/ its the getting that causes the dopamine release and then these women can pac rat and trash up their homes which causes depression which can be relieved by dopamine which can be gained by yet another trip to the mall for crap) So there is lots of things women can do to get dopamine besides screw around on their boyfriend and Psych meds (in moderation/ none of that 40 pill a day Elvis type pill taking/ God rest his sweaty faced pompadoured soul) ... and psych meds are probably the least of the evils for these godless wanton women who have destroyed your faith in the female species. I don't know if you collect anything, (maybe action figures, or cars or comic books), but think of it like this, just because you get a new action figure, doesn't mean you don't like your others any less, the problem is, they just aren't new, and its that newness that gives the dopamine aka "stimulation" to the brain. So those girlies didn't like you any less, they just needed dopamine.
As I said, just find someone who is more mature and aware of how they are (eg the driver who knows their car has a flat tire, will drive more carefully on the freeway than the driver whose car has a flat tire and doesn't know it. Both have flat tires, but one who knows will act accordingly and thereby avoid possible disaster)
I really don't think you should look for a normie. Plus, just from personal experience, pretty much anyone you would be attracted to would not be a normie, even if they look and act like one. Its weird how people's radar is both normies and non normies and it seems we are always attracted to people who are in some way similar to ourselves. Women ADHDers and Aspies are harder to recognize because they tend to be mostly Inattentive ADHD and not so much Hyperactive ADHD( which is primarily how ADHD is displayed in men/ aka "the bad boys")
Anyway, whatever, wrote too much as usual, but hope this helps.
PS: As I said, I am an Asperger woman and I never screw around on a boyfriend when I have one, but I am an avid collector and avid book reader (ancient european history) and a shopaholic and I like sex, but I don't like having to deal w/ new people who I don't know, so a guy has to seriously screw up w/ me to get me to even think about anyone else. This is just to let you know that all women are not out to screw around. Also, maybe you should consider that if you got with a woman who didn't screw around, you might find her to clingy and needy or feel too hemmed in, so by constantly (remember you are the constant in this equation) dating women who screw around and then "you have to break up with them" maybe you are avoiding commitment w/o having to be the one who looks like an as*hole; because why are you picking the same type of woman again and again???? Just an idea to consider.... There is a Zen saying, "What you have, is what you want." So if you have something you supposedly do not like in your life, you have to ask yourself, what is the payoff of having this supposedly undesirable thing/circumstance in my life... and once you figure out what the payoff is and agree to let go of the payoff, you can probably let go of the undesirable thing/circumstance. Remember, you are not a victim in this... You are the writer of your own story and you can change the script anytime you like...
Bon Chance, Mon Cheri

One of the explanations I got was that both men and women go through a phase of sewing their wild oats.

For women, this phase is around 18-24. At this phase, a woman is at her phsyical peak and therefore, all kinds of men want to get with her. They go around trying to get attention from different men just to see if they've got it. Because of this, it is very hard to maintain a relationship and you shouldn't really invest much stock in one at this early age. While there are those who will remain faithful, breakups happen more often than not.

For men, this phase occurs around 24-30 and sometimes later. At this phase, a man finally is starting to graduate college, become financially established, get a house, nice car, good education etc. The things many women want when they look for a good mate (security etc). Before this stage, a man does not have so many of these things to offer, so it is more difficult for him to secure a good, long lasting relationship.

Those who do not go through this phase repeat it later on in a midlife crisis.

Seems to be fairly accurate. I just turned 25 and just graduated as of yesterday. Never really felt the urge to sew my wild oats with as many women out there as possible, but some of the women I've dated in the past damn sure have. Also, every single one I've dated has been in this 18-24 range. The ones that I had succesful times with, talked about this phase of development, craving attention from many different kinds of men and dating around. They moved beyond it.

of course, this was written from the perspective of NT women and men, but I'd say its pretty close to true. I wonder if we as AS people differ.