I'm an introvert. Tired of the outside world not getting me

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 


Joined: 20 Aug 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 315

27 Aug 2023, 10:37 am

During my free time, I mainly enjoy my own company. The outside world is, as far as I can tell, extraverted, however (unfortunately). I've had more than one member of the outside world act annoyed when I don't want to go out and do stuff (or when I don't want to have them over for that matter).

How do I get the outside world off my back?

Yeah, I know having others want to be your friend might sound like a good problem to a lot of you. Believe me, when the friends are always trying to force you to do stuff you don't want to do, it's miserable.


User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,584
Location: Outter Quadrant

27 Aug 2023, 10:41 am


Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
where ever you go ,there you are


Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 955
Location: Buffalo, NY

27 Aug 2023, 10:58 am

Just keep saying no. Eventually no one will ask you. Voila!


User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 574

27 Aug 2023, 11:57 am

You're absolutely right that the outside world is extraverted--American culture values boisterousness, competition (even for attention), and the advantages of "knowing someone who knows someone" who can do something for you, perhaps for le$$.

I'm an ambivert who's very comfortable staying in her wonderful home, and I suspect that at least some people go along with the pressure to conform to extraversion--even if they have to fake it. General "wisdom" (it's not) says you can't be a good leader, a star, or a top earner otherwise. Some think introverts lack something, that they're inherently deficient and need to be "fixed."

As Jakki implied (I think), the Achilles heel of extraverts was displayed in a blazing neon light during the pandemic, when they entirely lost their s**t because bars and restaurants were closed. Meanwhile, introverts and ambiverts shook their heads. In my case, I was nauseated that people couldn't keep in mind all those who were sick and dying, couldn't count their own blessings, and couldn't take any comfort in peace and quiet. How revealing was all that?

While some people may never understand or accept the many perfectly valid reasons people may have for not hosting something in their own home, others can at least be made more aware of how solitary downtime is actually a good thing.

If your friends can understand that you value them--and especially their kind intention to include you--but also appreciate time to yourself, perhaps they will come to see you're not rejecting them. If they are socially/psychologically unaware and take it personally anyway, know that it's not really about you. An invitation is not a summons, though some people think of it that way.

This article might help:

https://introvertdear.com/news/introver ... saying-no/


Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,469

30 Aug 2023, 10:57 am

I know what you mean. I like having friends and socializing once in a while but i don't like trips and vacations where i have to be away from home for several days. I also don't like concerts and night clubs and that seems to be what everyone is interested in. I get drained so fast and feel very tired and sleepy after the event is over