Social cues that someone may be into you

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 


As an autistic person, can you tell if someone likes you romantically/sexually?
Yes, both. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, but only romantically. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, but only sexually. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Depends how long I've known them for. 63%  63%  [ 5 ]
No, everyone hates me. 38%  38%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 8

CookiesNCream101
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Oct 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Australia

09 Oct 2023, 10:27 pm

I can't tell if anyone has any interest in me unless they tell me up front that they like me more than a friend or compliment my appearance/personality and ask me out on a date. But I've heard there are some obvious social cues people exhibit when they're interested in someone.

Some signs that might indicate a person has romantic interest in you:

  • They make an effort to spend time with you and prioritize your company.
  • They remember and bring up details about your life, interests, and preferences.
  • They initiate and maintain meaningful conversations with you.
  • They show genuine concern for your well-being and happiness.
  • They engage in acts of thoughtfulness, such as giving you thoughtful gifts or surprises.
  • They introduce you to their friends and family or express a desire to meet yours.
  • They use affectionate gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling.
  • They express their feelings or attraction through verbal or written communication.

Some signs that might indicate a person has sexual interest in you:

  • Frequent and intense physical flirting, like touching your arm or shoulder often.
  • Making explicit or suggestive comments, jokes, or innuendos.
  • Engaging in conversations with a heavy sexual undertone.
  • Excessive compliments about your physical appearance or attractiveness.
  • Inviting you to more intimate or private settings, like their home.
  • Sending explicit or provocative messages or photos.

Can you think of any others or disagree with any of these?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,855
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

10 Oct 2023, 1:44 am

The second part can work only if initiated by woman toward man; or between two lesbians or two gays.

If any of those are initiated by a man toward woman, it is very likely he will be perceived as a harasser or creep.

Gender dynamics dictates you how to court.



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,658
Location: United Kingdom

10 Oct 2023, 5:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The second part can work only if initiated by woman toward man; or between two lesbians or two gays.

If any of those are initiated by a man toward woman, it is very likely he will be perceived as a harasser or creep.

Gender dynamics dictates you how to court.


I agree. Men are easily labelled creeps, particularly by women. It's almost like a throwaway insult, but it can have devastating consequences for a man and his self esteem.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,272
Location: Hell

10 Oct 2023, 7:19 am

Being pursued by someone who is behaving like a creep or who IS a creep can have a very harmful impact on a woman, especially if she has preexisting trauma.

If people want to avoid making others feel uncomfortable or worse, they should avoid exhibiting certain behavior unless they know the woman well enough to know she’s comfortable with it, especially:

- touching (back the f**k off :evil:)
- staring
- anything stalkerish
- explicit messages
- dick pics
- comments or compliments about her body

Some of this behavior would make me have a conversation with law enforcement. If people don’t want to be labeled as creeps, they shouldn’t act like one.

With all that being said, I wouldn’t engage in any of those behaviors, either. When I’m interested in someone in-person, I tend to…talk to them and am willing to go out of my way to do so. I also smile and joke around much more. Well, I always joke around, but I’m much shyer offline. I don’t intentionally act interested or try to flirt. It’s more of an organic thing. It’s how I acted years ago, not how I am now, though.

Due to my extreme shyness, I’ve usually been pursued, so my behavior demonstrated that the interest was mutual.

There are cultural differences in how people demonstrate interest, too.

I don't tolerate people unjustly being labeled as creeps. When there was a rumor going around that someone was sending a dick pic who wasn't, I was intent on getting that sorted. The offensive person is no longer here. :ninja:


_________________
“Tú, que me lees, ¿estás seguro de entender mi lenguaje?” - Jorge Luis Borges


rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,064
Location: Buffalo, NY

10 Oct 2023, 12:44 pm

CookiesNCream101 wrote:
I can't tell if anyone has any interest in me unless they tell me up front that they like me more than a friend or compliment my appearance/personality and ask me out on a date. But I've heard there are some obvious social cues people exhibit when they're interested in someone.

Some signs that might indicate a person has romantic interest in you:
  • They make an effort to spend time with you and prioritize your company.
  • They remember and bring up details about your life, interests, and preferences.
  • They initiate and maintain meaningful conversations with you.
  • They show genuine concern for your well-being and happiness.
  • They engage in acts of thoughtfulness, such as giving you thoughtful gifts or surprises.
  • They introduce you to their friends and family or express a desire to meet yours.
  • They use affectionate gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling.
  • They express their feelings or attraction through verbal or written communication.

Some signs that might indicate a person has sexual interest in you:

  • Frequent and intense physical flirting, like touching your arm or shoulder often.
  • Making explicit or suggestive comments, jokes, or innuendos.
  • Engaging in conversations with a heavy sexual undertone.
  • Excessive compliments about your physical appearance or attractiveness.
  • Inviting you to more intimate or private settings, like their home.
  • Sending explicit or provocative messages or photos.

Can you think of any others or disagree with any of these?


Your second set of bullet points are actions which leave no doubt as to intent. There are a number of other things that a person can do to signal sexual interest that are more subtle. And more effective. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, to use a bad analogy. I agree with the prior poster. It is organic.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 26,982
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

10 Oct 2023, 1:30 pm

CookiesNCream101 wrote:
Some signs that might indicate a person has romantic interest in you:
  • They make an effort to spend time with you and prioritize your company.
  • They remember and bring up details about your life, interests, and preferences.
  • They initiate and maintain meaningful conversations with you.
  • They show genuine concern for your well-being and happiness.
  • They engage in acts of thoughtfulness, such as giving you thoughtful gifts or surprises.
  • They introduce you to their friends and family or express a desire to meet yours.
  • They use affectionate gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling.
  • They express their feelings or attraction through verbal or written communication.
I've done the 1st four with women I liked & I usually ended up in the "just friends" category & some women I was friends with offline had assumed I was secretly gay :wall: I tended to express romantic interest after I knew the woman a bit & things were awkward after. I would only do the others in this list after we were in a relationship & all three of my relationships started online so they couldn't be done till after we met up. The 2nd list I would NEVER attempt unless we were already in an official relationship & I would only do those things if the woman initiated or I would ask her 1st if something was OK. I'm horrible at picking up hints & I only knew if a woman was interested in me if she was very direct with me about it. Otherwise I'd just assume that she was interested in friendship or that she was just a nice person.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition