Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Dondi
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 28 Aug 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Quebec

16 Oct 2023, 9:06 pm

Hi,
I’m really struggling with making friends. I never know if I’m good with them or not, meaning, I never know that everything is okay unless I’m getting some obvious positive feedback. I need constant reassurance, which isn’t really okay to ask for ask ALL the time.

Does anyone else experience this?

It’s nerve-wracking. I need to find some way to know, otherwise I’m always fearing that I’ve messed up until I see some positive reassurance.

Any suggestions?



Twiglet
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 24 Sep 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 71

20 Oct 2023, 2:32 am

What sort of positive feedback do you hope for?

Do they never give it without you asking for it?



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 24,570
Location: Right over your left shoulder

20 Oct 2023, 3:13 am

Dondi wrote:
Hi,
I’m really struggling with making friends. I never know if I’m good with them or not, meaning, I never know that everything is okay unless I’m getting some obvious positive feedback. I need constant reassurance, which isn’t really okay to ask for ask ALL the time.

Does anyone else experience this?

It’s nerve-wracking. I need to find some way to know, otherwise I’m always fearing that I’ve messed up until I see some positive reassurance.

Any suggestions?


I don't really have any suggestions other than trying to learn to cope with it.

I feel that way a lot and it can be really stressful.


_________________
Never Again*.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
*Note: Terms and conditions may apply. Offer not currently available to those living under Israeli occupation.


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,990
Location: Outter Quadrant

20 Oct 2023, 4:31 am

You gotta break a few eggs anyhow,,,to make a omellette. :nerdy:


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


Basiliscus amoratus
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2023
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 14
Location: Wisconsin

29 Oct 2023, 1:21 am

Just keep interacting with them! If you think you've messed up somewhere, you can remediate it by talking it out. You will gradually build up a tolerance to this anxiety over time.



jamie0.0
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 29 Sep 2023
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 300
Location: melbourne, australia

29 Oct 2023, 1:54 am

I experience this all the time.
It's really hard to commincate with people when I don't know when I say the wrong thing.
Online communication is just as nerve wracking, just stewing in my anxieties untill someone replies, it takes away the body language aspect which is nice, but either way I find that communication is a difficult Area.
One thing I find helps is the adage "nothing ventured nothing gained" by comming outside of my shell, I've managed to make a handful of really good friends. Sure, I've managed to peeve quite a few people along the way unknowingly, but going from 0 friends to a handful of them, is a net positive. It's almost like taking a gamble when deciding to reach out to people. You may not always win, but when you do, the reward is satisfactory.