Anyone else can't handle working full time?

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GreenVelvetWorm
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29 Oct 2023, 9:20 pm

My first job was full time, and I managed for four years before I had a breakdown from the stress and fatigue. Since then, I have only worked part time jobs.

When my coworkers hear that I'm part time, they almost always ask if I'm in school, or working another job. When I tell them I don't do either, they get confused and ask what I do, and why I don't work full time. I feel too embarassed to say that I cant handle more work, so I just tell them that I'm using the extra time to focus on developing my art.

Luckily I live in Canada, so I don't have to worry about health insurance (just dental) and I share living expenses with my partner (who also works part time). We're very frugal, so it works out pretty well.

I know it's a necessity for most people, but I don't understand how they do it- especially when they also raise children and maintain a social life. It seems so overwhelming



DanielW
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29 Oct 2023, 9:32 pm

It really depends on the job and the work environment not the number of hours per week for me. Some jobs and/or work environments are better than others. Also, the way the hours per week are structured can make a huge difference.

For me, its not the total number of hours I work.

As for handling questions about what you do for a living, just tell them what you do (if you are so inclined) no one needs to know the number of hours or your salary. The job title or type of work is all anyone needs to know. You aren't a part-time [what ever your job is], you are a [what ever your job title is]. no one needs to know you can't handle more than X number of hours, so stop inviting them to embarrass you :-)

If anyone probes further you can say that your an artist (if you feel like it) and or that your partner's income allows you both to work as much as you are both suited to - which is true.



GreenVelvetWorm
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29 Oct 2023, 10:08 pm

DanielW wrote:
It really depends on the job and the work environment not the number of hours per week for me. Some jobs and/or work environments are better than others. Also, the way the hours per week are structured can make a huge difference.

For me, its not the total number of hours I work.

As for handling questions about what you do for a living, just tell them what you do (if you are so inclined) no one needs to know the number of hours or your salary. The job title or type of work is all anyone needs to know. You aren't a part-time [what ever your job is], you are a [what ever your job title is]. no one needs to know you can't handle more than X number of hours, so stop inviting them to embarrass you :-)

If anyone probes further you can say that your an artist (if you feel like it) and or that your partner's income allows you both to work as much as you are both suited to - which is true.


The type of work definitely makes a difference, but for me even if the job itself is easy just the experience of being in a work environment for long stretches of time seems to wear me out and leave me miserable, and I need a relatively long time to recover after

To clarify, the questions about how I spend my time come from my coworkers (I have a lot of coworkers and we mainly work on our own, so when I do work with someone it always involves some amount of questions and small talk from them).



Patrick22348
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29 Oct 2023, 10:15 pm

GreenVelvetWorm wrote:
My first job was full time, and I managed for four years before I had a breakdown from the stress and fatigue. Since then, I have only worked part time jobs.

When my coworkers hear that I'm part time, they almost always ask if I'm in school, or working another job. When I tell them I don't do either, they get confused and ask what I do, and why I don't work full time. I feel too embarassed to say that I cant handle more work, so I just tell them that I'm using the extra time to focus on developing my art.

Luckily I live in Canada, so I don't have to worry about health insurance (just dental) and I share living expenses with my partner (who also works part time). We're very frugal, so it works out pretty well.

I know it's a necessity for most people, but I don't understand how they do it- especially when they also raise children and maintain a social life. It seems so overwhelming


I can't even walk out the house for 5 minutes before being burned out, except at night ofcourse, I'm really hoping there are night shifts I can find.


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GreenVelvetWorm
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29 Oct 2023, 10:36 pm

Patrick22348 wrote:

I can't even walk out the house for 5 minutes before being burned out, except at night ofcourse, I'm really hoping there are night shifts I can find.


Night shifts can pay pretty well since not many people are willing to work them. You might find that you're in high demand
What is it about day time that makes it hard for you to work? The light and noise?



blitzkrieg
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29 Oct 2023, 11:29 pm

It depends on the job, as others have said. I have done it in the past but I always get burnt out, eventually.



Patrick22348
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30 Oct 2023, 12:18 am

GreenVelvetWorm wrote:
Patrick22348 wrote:

I can't even walk out the house for 5 minutes before being burned out, except at night ofcourse, I'm really hoping there are night shifts I can find.


Night shifts can pay pretty well since not many people are willing to work them. You might find that you're in high demand
What is it about day time that makes it hard for you to work? The light and noise?


The people on the street, it is very dense.


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NobodyNothingJr
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31 Oct 2023, 3:23 pm

I used to be a manager too and worked full time this was when I was in my late 20’s to about 32. I haven’t been able to work full-time since the pandemic which seemed to cause serious regression for me. I don’t see myself being able to work full time ever again but with the right supports I’d be willing to try.

My max right now is 3 days a week.

I also get asked and at times belittled for working part time like I’m a less than employee. Coworkers have told me how they can do xyz abc jump though fire have nine kids and still work full time so why shouldn’t I be able to. Women at work have been the most judgmental about it. At this point I just say I take care of an elderly family member.



GreenVelvetWorm
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31 Oct 2023, 6:04 pm

NobodyNothingJr wrote:
I used to be a manager too and worked full time this was when I was in my late 20’s to about 32. I haven’t been able to work full-time since the pandemic which seemed to cause serious regression for me. I don’t see myself being able to work full time ever again but with the right supports I’d be willing to try.

My max right now is 3 days a week.

I also get asked and at times belittled for working part time like I’m a less than employee. Coworkers have told me how they can do xyz abc jump though fire have nine kids and still work full time so why shouldn’t I be able to. Women at work have been the most judgmental about it. At this point I just say I take care of an elderly family member.


Three days a week is pretty much my limit too. I work every weekend, and occasionally an extra day if they need it. I'm always completely worn out at the end



Sailon
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31 Oct 2023, 6:42 pm

Me either.



NobodyNothingJr
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31 Oct 2023, 8:27 pm

GreenVelvetWorm wrote:
NobodyNothingJr wrote:
I used to be a manager too and worked full time this was when I was in my late 20’s to about 32. I haven’t been able to work full-time since the pandemic which seemed to cause serious regression for me. I don’t see myself being able to work full time ever again but with the right supports I’d be willing to try.

My max right now is 3 days a week.

I also get asked and at times belittled for working part time like I’m a less than employee. Coworkers have told me how they can do xyz abc jump though fire have nine kids and still work full time so why shouldn’t I be able to. Women at work have been the most judgmental about it. At this point I just say I take care of an elderly family member.


Three days a week is pretty much my limit too. I work every weekend, and occasionally an extra day if they need it. I'm always completely worn out at the end



Working weekends is my secret weapon because I also need a set schedule so whenever I go in for an interview I’ll say I can only work Friday to Sunday and employers love weekend coverage so kill two birds with one stone and no need to disclose or ask for accommodations. If other stuff bothers me like lighting or noises I just try to deal for as long as I can.

And same with me on also on getting burnt out from just 3 days but it’s hard to make any good money working less than that.



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31 Oct 2023, 8:33 pm

I struggle with being able to work 40 hours, although I've also tolerated months of 60 hour weeks.

Tolerated might be an exaggeration, I was f*****g loopy from it. :lol:


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Scorpius14
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09 Nov 2023, 1:25 pm

First two jobs were full time, except very first was a brutal 12-hour shift which I was in no way prepared for, involving heavy lifting, fast paced work and doing the messy jobs.
So 1st job didn't last a week, 2nd one I stayed in far longer because I could compare it to how bad the first was. But it was still an arduous 10-11 hour shift type of work in similar industry, with plenty of forced overtime that piled on the stress until I couldn't take any more.

Next couple were part time that felt like full-time because it seemed I traded the long hours for shorter hours with harder work that just knackered me before I could even get home in the evenings.

I always regret leaving the positions but forget how bad management was and the reasons I left in the first place, yet still consider going back because there's not much else going on.



Esme
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10 Nov 2023, 6:40 pm

I have the opposite problem. I'm a workaholic. Focusing on work is a stress response for me, so I have a tendancy to forget to do other things like wash/eat/sleep/socialise if I'm hyperfocused on something. If other things in my life are on fire, I completely escape into work as a distraction. I'll set myself ridiculous goals to work towards so that I don't have to think about other things. Which isn't healthy, but I still believe is miles better than other coping mechanisms I could have instead. If I could avoid sleep entirely, I would.

It (understandably) annoys people that know me, as I'll disappear for weeks on end to complete some project. When I re-emerge into humanity, time hasn't really passed for me and I can jump right back into wherever I was with people. But the same people assume I'm avoiding them personally (even though I've repeatedly told them it's just how I function). These days I tend to have more workaholics in my circle who get the way I am, so it's less of a problem. I can just say I'm going into machine mode to get x done, and they understand. But it still causes issues.



MatchboxVagabond
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10 Nov 2023, 7:49 pm

I think it depends a great deal on what you're doing. ND or NT, certain jobs are just going to grate on you sooner than others. Personally, I wish I could stop working at 40 hours, but my manager gave 2 weeks notice a while back and there wasn't time to find a new manager, or even a replacement for the two open positions. So, now I'm working 6 days a week and 50-60 hours. Which isn't that bad, but I've pretty much lost my abiltiy to claim I'm not autistic if people ask.

That being said, there are a bunch of normal jobs that normal people do that I probably couldn't handle for more than a couple days a week. I just happen to have a job that involves an ungodly amount of repetition and relatively little social interaction.



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18 Nov 2023, 11:38 pm

Been working three years as a Lot Attendant at home Depot. About 30 hours a week

There is no way I could handle a full time job. Even if it were the ideal job

I don't get how so many coworkers work two full time minimum wage jobs. They seem energetic and rarely shut their traps.

And I don't get how they can work standing up jobs, when some of them are older and much fatter than me and they work more hours

And I don't get how they can afford cars and kids on minimum wage