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Aet1985
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07 Nov 2023, 3:14 pm

I was wondering if this is a Aspergers issue or I can perhaps have other undiagnosed issues? I try my best to live life by a ''format'' or ''organized''. I find though that when I go out just in general people and the way society is set up stresses me out and irritates me after a while, many people seem to '' go with the flow'' love the social scene, town politics, school and public meetings, climbing the ''social ladder'' and so on. I get confused because I want to date but other than that just want to be with my dog, and get my life together, I often feel misunderstood and my father and other people don't understand when I say I have a lot on my mind, can't understand for example why I would want to live with my dog in the El Dorado section of Santa Fe NM,



DirkGently69
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07 Nov 2023, 4:30 pm

That sounds like ‘classic’ autism behaviour. Love of routine, dislike change, trouble with socialisation, prefer to be alone, feeling more connection to a pet, happy with your own company. It’s not you that has to change, it’s other people’s perception of your disability that needs to. Once they understand that you are who you are, things should be better for everyone.



Aet1985
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07 Nov 2023, 4:45 pm

I have noticed I get upset easily and feel ''very deeply'' in the social scene and just after a while it gets to be a lot. The other weird issue is I love women and want to and will date, but other than having a woman in my life, I don't participate much. I don't try to be ''something I am not'' I try to fit in with the other people in my family who are in my age group, yet we have nothing in common and I feel out of place, or have different priorities. I often scare myself because I consider myself a ''strong person'' mentally because I have been through a lot, but yet I am sensitive, and can privately have ''crying episodes'' with everything that happened to me and bothering me flash before my eyes, do we also have a emotional delay and world view? it's the furthest on my mind where my female cousins are, they are married, one has two kids and the other just had a baby, social climbing and ''nothing but the best'' and her husband can pull 14+ hour days going to medical school or internship, seems my NT cousins crave and want more and more and more



Campingbare
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07 Nov 2023, 7:45 pm

I was not married until I was 40. I don't know how many times my parents had told me that I needed to "get out there" and meet a lady. I was fine living alone. When we met (both aged 39), things just seem to fall together naturally.

Neither I nor my family knew about my autism. Asperger's wasn't known in America when I was a kid. I was already in the Air Force before it became a diagnosis here. I was just the oddball in the family. The crazy uncle to my Brother's kids.

I'm retired now. My wife passed away last year. Other than grocery runs, I don't have to go out in public much, so I can be myself at home and not worry about what people think. I go camping frequently (in very remote locations), and spend time boating. I have 3 wolf-hybrids that I have taken camping (one at a time - they're pretty rambunctious as a group).

Pretty much any alone time (or with the wolfies) outdoors is where I can relax and be myself.


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Broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 139 of 200 Your neurotypical score: 60 of 200
Aspie Quiz (v5) 155 of 200 .. AQ 48 . Detailed Aspie Quotient for adults 1,540 out of 2,200 (70%)
RAADS-R Total 192 of 240 Social Problems 91 Circumscribed Interests 42 Language 19 Sensory Motor 40
Meyer-Briggs: INTP Comorbidities: Narcolepsy, NPD, Alexithemia, Dyspraxia, Prosopagnosia, Anomia, IBS
........................If God meant for us to go around naked, we'd have been born that way........................


Comet Zed
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07 Nov 2023, 9:45 pm

Campingbare wrote:
Other than grocery runs, I don't have to go out in public much, so I can be myself at home and not worry about what people think. I go camping frequently (in very remote locations), and spend time boating. I have 3 wolf-hybrids that I have taken camping (one at a time - they're pretty rambunctious as a group).

Pretty much any alone time (or with the wolfies) outdoors is where I can relax and be myself.


That sounds like how I picture my retirement... I would live that now if I could.


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Mikurotoro92
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08 Nov 2023, 12:01 am

People are very critical of my life decisions like finding love and getting married!

They keep trying to deter me and steer me away from marriage, specifically my neighbor Anita who would rather I have friends instead of a husband


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DirkGently69
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08 Nov 2023, 12:22 am

You have to live your own life, so don’t take any notice of others. So long as you want to fall in love and get married for the right reasons, then to hell with everyone else Mikurotoro.



Smokeykiller51
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08 Nov 2023, 1:13 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
People are very critical of my life decisions like finding love and getting married!

They keep trying to deter me and steer me away from marriage, specifically my neighbor Anita who would rather I have friends instead of a husband

Do what makes you happy. Find someone deserving of yourself. Who respects themselves and yourself. I got lucky and found my wife about ten years ago we have been married for 2. Life is easier to navigate when you have a good partner. Doesnt mean it is easy but definitely easier. She accepts me for who I am even at times when I don't accept me. Then there are times when I accept her for herself despite her self doubts. Individually we are okay but together unstoppable.



ToughDiamond
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08 Nov 2023, 3:09 pm

I too prefer my own ways and I've never really wanted to live the typical mainstream Western life. Most of my friends have been outliers. Judging by what's said in books and observational comedy, and discussed in many popular sources, the mainstream is fairly aware of its flaws, but they never seem to actually do anything about it, and anybody who tries to runs the risk of being labelled a crank or a political nutjob.

It may be rather arrogant of me, but I quite like to view myself as something like a Victorian Englishman living alongside the natives in some British colony or other, though not as a missionary as I don't feel like doing much to convert others to my way of thinking and living. I might try to explain it if invited to, but like most people I'm not here to change the world. So I live side by side with the natives, who don't understand why I don't worship Nyadenga or whatever their deity is, while I struggle to understand why they do. I find it hard not to look down on them (and vice versa), but when I study their ways carefully I often start to see how they got to be that way and I acquire a bit more respect for them (and vice versa). I might join in some of their strange (to me) ways, but mostly that's just for diplomacy and a bit of fun.