Are you socially competitive?

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I have to say, I know dozens of people, probably hundreds (I once read that the average adult knows about 2000 people), most of them NT, and absolutely none of them "have as the highest goal to strive for having more money than anyone around them, and material comforts, fame, prestige, popularity, at the expense of genuinely caring relationships, enjoyable free time, a more leisurely pace in life, and intellectually stimulating pursuits."

I honestly can't think of a single person I know, NT or AS, who would take a job they hated that consumed their lives and was boring just to get fame and fortune. Now, sometimes you have to balance some things (for example, my job is very demanding intellectually, and consequently my life when I'm on the clock is not very leisurely), but overall I think just about everyone wants caring relationships, free time, and interesting things to do.

I've got a little competitiveness in me, but overtime it stresses me out and confuses me.

I'm not socially competitive... I am not competitive period.

My desire is to be comfortable... I don't think you can be competitive in that field.

I like to have things I value, but not for any social reasons. I don't care what people think about what I have. If I care about anything social... it's not for someone to say "wow you have something great here... I'm jealous." I would like people to say "wow you put a lot of thought into this, what products do you think I should get."

My social aspirations aren't to be better than anyone... it's just to generally understand what is going on. I play a competitive game, my desire to win isn't so I can gloat over others... it's so I can have the knowledge of the best strategy to win. If I win at something, I am content that I figured out a better way to do something... I am not happy that I actually won and rub it in someone's face.

I'm not competitive. I just want enough money for me to live and be able to pursue my interests.

For a moment, I was confused about the phrase "socially competitive," but after reading some of the responses, I'd like to add something. I don't want things to show off to or prove something to others, I only want it for me. I don't care about wearing fancy clothes, driving an expensive car, etc. I do care about having a nice PC at home and some nice ham radio gear, but I don't go rubbing other people's faces in it.

As for winning, whenever I did win a game against my sister, she'd rub my face in the fact I won insisting that I only won because I was lucky, not because I played well. If I'd try the just lucky thing or her, she'd say "There's no such thing as luck." I never quite understood the mind games NTs play. I do remember the last time I played backgammon with her and I was beating her and she pitched a fit and slammed the game shut, upsetting my brother because it was his backgammon set.

Another kind of social competition I was thinking of was competing for friends. Like alot of people here, I always had trouble making friends but there were a few times I was successful in doing so. If my friends would come over, my sister would move in on our activities and would get my friends to hang out with her and ignore me. She had one friend of mine insulting my musical tastes convincing him what she liked was good and what I liked was bad. They'd often talk about the movies they'd seen that I hadn't, the books they'd read I hadn't, and of course, their "better" taste in music.

Another friend ended up eventually coming over the house to see her and totally ignore me, not even popping in to say "hi." I used to question whether or not it was something wrong with me as why she was able to steal my friends, but I realize now she deliberately did it. It wasn't that she had no friends in fact, she often had more friends than I did and had no trouble making friends, it was that she wanted me to have no friends and her to have all the friends, something I didn't understand. I did make a few other friends, but the only way to keep her from stealing them was to keep her away from them, which meant having no friends at the house.

define 'socially competitive '

Ok after reading again i got your point.

Let's back to the root definition of autism :


Autism is a disorder of brain function that appears early in life, generally before the age of three. Children with autism have problems with social interaction, communication, imagination and behavior. Autistic traits persist into adulthood, but vary in severity. Some adults with autism function well, earning college degrees and living independently. Others never develop the skills of daily living, and may be incorrectly diagnosed with a variety of psychiatric illnesses. The cause is unknown.

Me competitive? no...

I just do what I need to do. I'm not out to one-up anyone.

I can't think of very many ways that I'm competitive at all. I don't do the whole keeping up with the Jones's thing. I buy what I like, and i could care less what other people have. I do sometimes feel proud if I aquire something that's expensive, or unique.
This is part of the reason I always feel left out when I'm around others. There always seems to be a level of competition that I just don't fully grasp, much less participate in. People always seem to feel that they have to prove something, whether it be with money, looks, or some skill. I totally lack this instinct. The only instance that I can become competitive is if I feel majorly threatened by my husband taking an interest in another woman. I would feel the need to "one up" her so to speak by being more attractive physically, and personality-wise. Even that scenario would have to be extreme before I felt a need to compete.