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firemonkey
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29 Nov 2023, 2:26 am

Sometimes I really wonder whether I truly fit in with the autistic community. Much of that is due to the issue of whether or not ASD is a disability. I see it as being one, and struggle to identify with those that don't. No matter how hard I try I can't see the reasons for wanting a diagnosis ,if you don't think autism has any adverse effects.



Edna3362
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29 Nov 2023, 3:26 am

I don't fit in either.

Mainly because I cannot relate to others' priorities and common struggles as an autistic and despise anything that I relate as a human.

And the way I express the identity is also different. It is as if it's not just the autism or being autistic ; but something much deeper...


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naturalplastic
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29 Nov 2023, 4:48 am

firemonkey wrote:
Sometimes I really wonder whether I truly fit in with the autistic community. Much of that is due to the issue of whether or not ASD is a disability. I see it as being one, and struggle to identify with those that don't. No matter how hard I try I can't see the reasons for wanting a diagnosis ,if you don't think autism has any adverse effects.


This is silly.

Autistics, like NTs, are not monolithic in their opinions about anything including opinions about autism itself.

There is a faction of autistics who deny the obvious ...the obvious being that autism is a disability.

You dont have to agree with them, or with any faction, to "fit in" to autism community.



firemonkey
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29 Nov 2023, 6:43 am

Yet another one who thinks I'm silly,stupid etc etc :(



BillyTree
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29 Nov 2023, 6:50 am

Being autistic means being different from the majority of people. That is a challenge and something you need to have a strategy for. That applies to everyone on the autism spectrum. Some handle it better than others. In my opinion, if it's a disability for every autistic is a matter of semantic.


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29 Nov 2023, 8:06 am

You are not silly or stupid etc.

We have missed you in here.


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blitzkrieg
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29 Nov 2023, 9:38 am

I enjoy your posts firemonkey.

If somebody says your post is silly, they just might mean they disagree with you on something - I wouldn't take it personally.



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29 Nov 2023, 10:57 am

I find this forum useful for identify possible stress issues. Many of us run into exactly the same issues.
Some of us are better at coping than other so we may not realize the impact it has on our lives.

I enjoy doing things that others find stressful. I enjoy practicing and playing golf.
I enjoy solving puzzles. I've been so busy that it has been a while since I've put together a big jigsaw puzzle so they sit in unopened boxes.

I learned how to fix my lawn mower yesterday. I tipped it over to remove a rope that got caught in the blades and the oil leaked out and soaked the air filter. Then I flooded the engine. I discovered I could tilt the mower up with the front against wheels against the ground to clear out the gas! It worked again!



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29 Nov 2023, 11:44 am

I don’t make any attempt to fit in, more rather find someone that fits with me instead.


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Double Retired
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29 Nov 2023, 3:46 pm

I am one of the folk who does not feel they are disabled by autism but rather just some skills are disabled.

But:

□ Autism is a Spectrum Disorder so I think it is reasonable it affects different people differently.

□ Autism appears not to be well-understood at a deep medical level. It is unclear what causes Autism. More than 200 different genes have been identified as sometimes associated with Autism so "Autism" might actually be a family of 200+ different medical conditions—with characteristics similar enough that they're currently lumped under the same umbrella term: "Autism". That's similar characteristics, not necessarily identical. (Oh. And they apparently have not ruled out environmental causes, too. If some chemical helps cause it then different people would likely be exposed to different levels of that chemical, for different periods of times, at different times of fetal development.)

□ And I am certain, from my own personal experience, that there is another layer of external factors. I am very lucky, and I know it, that my parents did not try to mold me to their expectations but "assisted" me (and I mean assisted me by guiding me, not giving me money) in some important things (for instance, getting a first job, getting a first car). And I was lucky to get into the military that helped tremendously in many aspects of life afterwards. And I was lucky that when I went to college I happened to luck into a full scholarship, which tremendously improved my college experience.

And, perhaps most importantly, you would be missed here.


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29 Nov 2023, 10:18 pm

firemonkey wrote:
Sometimes I really wonder whether I truly fit in with the autistic community. Much of that is due to the issue of whether or not ASD is a disability. I see it as being one, and struggle to identify with those that don't. No matter how hard I try I can't see the reasons for wanting a diagnosis ,if you don't think autism has any adverse effects.


It's been very clear to me from the beginning that I don't fit in with the autistic community.

In person, autistic people usually over-stimulate me.

In videos about ASD/ADHD on YouTube I see lots of comments about how emotional viewers get watching the video, or how emotional their diagnosis was. It was never very emotional for me. I've known something was weird for a long time. It was a nice relief to finally be to name it and understand it and have better tools for dealing with it.

Most people seem to view ADHD and especially ASD as their identity, but to me they're conditions I have. Finding out I have ASD and ADHD didn't change how I thought or felt about those conditions; it just made me better able to recognize them.

It didn't change how I feel about myself. Before my diagnosis, I didn't subscribe to the belief that however I am is how I should be and everyone should accept me for how I am just because it's who I am. Nothing I've learn has prompted me to change that. Yet the attitude in a lot of places, especially around here, is what I consider to be toxic positivity: accept everything, criticize nothing.



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30 Nov 2023, 1:18 am

I don't really fit in anywhere, but that's nothing new.


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traven
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30 Nov 2023, 1:52 am

there's no "community", that's one of those fake words nt's(or narcissists) like so much
personally i very much dislike that word, as one tends to be more lonely among the crowd/others



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30 Nov 2023, 1:58 am

Welcome back, firemonkey. I've missed you.

I think you fit in just fine. I can relate to your struggles and in fact we've always had a lot in common.
I think autism is a disability because we don't have many of the abilities NTs have.
I'm not ashamed of being autistic but it's certainly a disability.
If it wasn't, there'd be no need for support services for any autistic person.


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bee33
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30 Nov 2023, 2:06 am

My autism is mild. Two evaluations came back inconclusive. (My current therapist is sure that I am on the spectrum, and so are other therapists who got to know me. The people who did the evaluations only knew me a short time, like a couple of hours, so they couldn't be sure.) But it has nevertheless affected my life enough and caused me enough difficulties that I consider it a disability.

Someone else who is in a similar position to me could say it's their personality or that it's a quirk. I think they would be wrong, but I feel that they can identify in whatever way works for them and it doesn't affect me. Does it matter what they think?



firemonkey
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30 Nov 2023, 3:58 am

bee33 wrote:
Does it matter what they think?


Individually - no. Collectively- perhaps. It would depend on the level of influence.