What Is the Most Ableist Thing Someone Has Said to You?

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shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Dec 2023, 10:06 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Sometimes I get paranoid someone will say "can you please go commit suicide? You can do anything you set your mind to!"


I'd just try to sound despondent and tell them 'no, I'd probably f**k that up too'. :cry:

Then walk away doing the sad Charlie Brown walk.

Image


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I have set my mind to plenty of activities and failed:

Academic dismissal
Made redundant numerous times
Evicted
Dumped by "friends"
Scammed of $$
Social

Whatever

And I don't want to fail at anything unnecessarily anymore



colliegrace
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10 Dec 2023, 11:19 pm

I am reflecting on my last reply to this thread, and oh boy. I cannot articulate how much I hate "but EVERYONE does that". It's so often used to invalidate people's experiences.

Like.... look. Yeah. Everyone has trouble starting tasks... sometimes. Everyone puts stuff off. But if it's negatively affecting your life in big ways and you have tried your damndest to stop "being lazy", you may very well have something else going on.

Also, many autistic experiences are not necessarily exclusive to autism. Stimming, for instance. Everyone stims a little. Toe tapping, tapping a pen, playing a surface like a drum, etc. Autistic people just stim way more and likely for different reasons.


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funeralxempire
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10 Dec 2023, 11:32 pm

colliegrace wrote:
Autistic people just stim way more and likely for different reasons.


Is it possible that we're just more sensitive to the sorts of things that contribute to it? A lot of ADHD stimming is related to focus, anxiety is another common cause. I'd imagine that stimming in people who aren't using it as a coping mechanism for focus or anxiety might have an additional explanation, feels good man.

I'd anticipate dopamine chasing and managing stress/anxiety are shared motives, just with us being far more prone to needing to do it due to comorbidity with ADHD (as well as others who show some ADHD traits but not enough for diagnosis), and a general high sensitivity (causing us to often be stressed all the time, as well as be prone to anxiety disorders).


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funeralxempire
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10 Dec 2023, 11:35 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
___________________

I have set my mind to plenty of activities and failed:

Academic dismissal
Made redundant numerous times
Evicted
Dumped by "friends"
Scammed of $$
Social

Whatever

And I don't want to fail at anything unnecessarily anymore


You succeed at things too, even if they're just mundane. The fact all your different struggles haven't crushed you is an ongoing success.

Didn't you finish a half-marathon? That's impressive. A lot of people could not do that.


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auntblabby
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10 Dec 2023, 11:49 pm

"why can't you just make up your mind and jerk yourself up by your own bootstraps and go get rich?"



shortfatbalduglyman
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11 Dec 2023, 1:47 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
___________________

I have set my mind to plenty of activities and failed:

Academic dismissal
Made redundant numerous times
Evicted
Dumped by "friends"
Scammed of $$
Social

Whatever

And I don't want to fail at anything unnecessarily anymore


You succeed at things too, even if they're just mundane. The fact all your different struggles haven't crushed you is an ongoing success.

Didn't you finish a half-marathon? That's impressive. A lot of people could not do that.


_______________________________________

In a way, all my "different struggles" *have* "crushed" me, in that I am now so afraid of failure that I don't endeavor anything significant or difficult.

Some things I have done, that some would put unnecessary value on:

BA cognitive science
AA accounting

Structural engineering until solid mechanics (by far my biggest academic accomplishment, even though it was a failure)

27, full marathon
40, half marathon

21, rode bike from Claremont, San Diego to perris, Riverside

National merit commended student
Drivers license
Been working at home Depot for three years and counting

But none of them sound particularly suitable for putting on my resume. My marathon and half marathon times were not "impressive". While not everyone has done marathons, doing marathons is not a job skill either. Except for professional runners and etc. but my times are nowhere near elite and not getting any better, because I am already 40 years old. Besides there are eight billion people in the solar system and there are plenty of things that "not everyone " can do

Not everyone lived to be 40. Not everyone can breathe without a respirator.



envirozentinel
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13 Dec 2023, 11:45 am

Those achievements are still impressive. I've done numerous half marathons, full marathons and even ultra marathons from 50 to 90 km. Comrades is just under 90 km and I have run 12 and finished 10. No elite positions but still a feel good experience even if I can't use it for my CV except were I to apply for work at a specialist running store.

Unfortunately not all academic or sporting achievements translate to wealth and a healthy bank balance.


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FlintLovesBonnie
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11 Jan 2024, 10:48 am

Being told to just ignore my auditory sensory issues and being punished for being in literal pain because of them

you look just like your brother (in reference to me not managing my facial expressions because im tired and at home. My brother is abusive both physically and mentally and has been one of the 2 main factors in my terrible metal health.)


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silverlinings1069
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12 Jan 2024, 11:13 am

Just ignore it.
That doesn't matter right now.
Well, dont be confused.
Just think of something else.
Autism is just a title. It doesn't mean anything.
Everyone has ADHD.

OMG, I could go on and on.



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12 Jan 2024, 11:39 am

Do you think it is right for people with disabilities to have children?

An argument made by my coworkers, they then proceeded to talk about a couple whom both have dwarfism and how sad that was for their children



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13 Jan 2024, 9:32 pm



I had made this video more than 4 years ago, I have experienced plenty of ablism in my life and this is how I had been feeling about this and at the time I posted this here on the forums I still have no second thoughts on what I have said. I guess my feelings of this R-word will never change.


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What_in_the_what_now
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02 Mar 2024, 8:45 am

come on, you just need your mojo back



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02 Mar 2024, 2:22 pm

I told an ignorant beast to f-off one time. He told me that I wouldn't know how. I pushed him out of my way and he almost fell to the ground.


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ElmersTrueLove
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13 Mar 2024, 11:29 am

Being called a brat and that Looney Tunes is for babies...


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evank1
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13 Mar 2024, 11:47 am

"Just don't be sad"

Granted I can understand where one might be coming from with this statement. It can be frustrating to have to deal with a depressed person, but obviously a clash in prior experiences between two parties.



DanielW
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13 Mar 2024, 11:59 am

"you should smile more"