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Aet1985
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07 Jan 2024, 4:04 pm

I was always curious if being on the spectrum we mentally age faster or ''slow down''. I ask because I don't know if it is that or I just can't take on a lot for long periods. I don't consider myself ''weak'' considering everything I have been through, or try to be something I am not, but I can't seem to ''keep up'' with many NT's, even when I was a senior in High School, they wanted the biggest and the best, three or more kids, huge house, social standing and status, keeping up with each other, etc. I find myself at 39 wanting to live a quiet life with my dog, date but nothing serious, work at a job, but not a lot of hours, just prefer my own mind and imagination, is all of this normal for us or do I have other mental health and issues never addressed?



bee33
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07 Jan 2024, 10:11 pm

I don't know the answer, but I do think that autists do have a tendency to think for themselves in a reasoned way rather than feeling compelled to follow the crowd, so I don't think it's unusual that you prefer a life that works for you rather than seeking out the things that we are supposed to want.



FleaOfTheChill
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07 Jan 2024, 11:52 pm

I apologize in advance if I'm missing the point of what you're asking here. I think I get what you mean, but I'm still not 100% here.

As a kid, I was like a little old person, but as I've aged, I've felt younger than my peers constantly. I'm not sure if that plays a part in how I live my life or not though. I know that I lack some of the same values and wants as others do. My ideal life is not the same as other peoples and I'm okay with that. In part, I can't handle a lot of what others do. In part, what they do just does not appeal to me. I think on it like this, I have to live my life every day, wake up in this life, my skin, all that every day...not theirs. Why would I do a bunch of stuff that will stress me out, wreck me, make me unhappy when I can find a way to do life on my terms to the best of my abilities? It might not be the norm, but who cares if it's what I want and what works for me. For me, that's healthy.



blitzkrieg
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08 Jan 2024, 12:13 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
As a kid, I was like a little old person, but as I've aged, I've felt younger than my peers constantly.


I have experienced this, also.



CockneyRebel
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08 Jan 2024, 12:51 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
As a kid, I was like a little old person, but as I've aged, I've felt younger than my peers constantly.


I have experienced this, also.


I've had this experience as well.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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08 Jan 2024, 2:15 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
As a kid, I was like a little old person, but as I've aged, I've felt younger than my peers constantly.


I have experienced this, also.


I've had this experience as well.

Th8s is my experience, too.


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Edna3362
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08 Jan 2024, 5:36 am

My theory is simply stress. Distress-stress.
High amounts of it.


I myself am not aging faster, even though I'm also just as stressed.

I'm still fluctuating. :? And likely with an undiagnosed physical condition.
I'd rather be stable and gradually be 'older' than having to adjust 'how fast/faster/slower/slow' I'm after every other week.


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ASPartOfMe
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08 Jan 2024, 8:11 am

When I was a minor I did get on better with adults especially older ones than my peers.

I also was much more aware of current events than my peers but I do not believe it had anything to do with autism, the news was on during dinner every night.

As an adult I have little or no experience with certain things most adults have decades of experience with. While one can workaround lack of experience to a certain extent there is just no getting around the resulting disadvantages when interacting with peers.


In general based on anecdotal evidence of reading other autistics stories I do believe verbal autistics when they are young get along better with adults then with their peers and visa versa. That is not a reqirement.


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Aet1985
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09 Jan 2024, 5:09 pm

A good example is my cousin's husband I believe is a doctor or still in Med School, and he often can pull a 24 shift or internship, plus he has a month or so year old baby, and I get stressed or feel I have a ''full time job'' with daily living, I honestly don't know how in the past I pulled 36 hours at a fast food place, although towards the end that was making me physically sick, Anxiety, IBS, and so on



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09 Jan 2024, 7:15 pm

There is a scene in the X-men where a blue skinned woman is lifting weights.
But she is wasting much of her strength looking like a normal pink skinned woman!

You may be wasting much of your energy trying to be "normal" or masking or hiding stims.



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09 Jan 2024, 7:16 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
As a kid, I was like a little old person, but as I've aged, I've felt younger than my peers constantly.


I have experienced this, also.


I've had this experience as well.

Th8s is my experience, too.


Add me to this club.


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Vander571
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10 Jan 2024, 1:30 am

Aet1985 wrote:
I was always curious if being on the spectrum we mentally age faster or ''slow down''. I ask because I don't know if it is that or I just can't take on a lot for long periods. I don't consider myself ''weak'' considering everything I have been through, or try to be something I am not, but I can't seem to ''keep up'' with many NT's, even when I was a senior in High School, they wanted the biggest and the best, three or more kids, huge house, social standing and status, keeping up with each other, etc. I find myself at 39 wanting to live a quiet life with my dog, date but nothing serious, work at a job, but not a lot of hours, just prefer my own mind and imagination, is all of this normal for us or do I have other mental health and issues never addressed?


So nice to hear someone who thinks like me.

I'm doing this right now (at 48yrs)

Live alone with my doggy, Don't need people. Had enough of the world. Just a very quiet person who keeps to himself and works on some personal interests. It's like this is what I should have done in the first place.

I never got the world when I was younger (nor now). People all follow the same route, go to school, study or something, get a job, make money, marriage, kids, house. It's like a program for NT's and they all just follow it and do the same thing to keep the big machine running (the system). That's not why we are here.

I've had a whole life of being bullied and humiliated just because I like peace and quiet, and have intense personal interest. the odd meltdown. Prefer libraries to football and don't understand the point of smalltalk.

Go for it Aet1985. Do what makes you happy. 


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ToughDiamond
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10 Jan 2024, 3:02 pm

Don't know. My experience is that I did well with thinking until I was about 12 years old, then had trouble concentrating, and several years later it started to get better again, until it felt as though I was an unusually clear thinker, if a little slow with new concepts. These days it's rather up and down, depending on how interested I happen to be in the subject matter - a lot of things bore me and when they do, I can't be bothered to focus on them, but if something interests me, I'm usually quite good at thinking about it.