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Kitty4670
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24 Jan 2024, 3:02 am

If you have no kids, would you date someone with kids? I’m curious.



Fnord
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24 Jan 2024, 4:03 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
If you have no kids, would you date someone with kids? I’m curious.
Never again.  The unwed mothers who acted like they were interested in dating me were actually more interested in dating my paycheck.  Plus, it is no fun being prioritized behind everyone else, including their family pets.

Never, ever again.


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blitzkrieg
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24 Jan 2024, 7:12 am

Personally, I wouldn't.

I don't want kids, and I don't want someone else's, either.



funeralxempire
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24 Jan 2024, 2:36 pm


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Nades
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24 Jan 2024, 3:07 pm

Fnord wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
If you have no kids, would you date someone with kids? I’m curious.
Never again.  The unwed mothers who acted like they were interested in dating me were actually more interested in dating my paycheck.  Plus, it is no fun being prioritized behind everyone else, including their family pets.

Never, ever again.


Had some difficulty with mother's. Never really financial but certainly wanting me to become their new dad. If I have to be around screaming kids, I would rather them be my own.

One woman took ten dates to finally be away from her kids. I found them very obstructive and convos often revolved around them but I'm sure plenty of other single mothers would have more decorum when dating and gradually introduce them. Thrusting someone else's kids on a new man is where the stereotype comes from and it's easy not to be that woman unless its intentional.



old_comedywriter
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24 Jan 2024, 3:27 pm

Fnord wrote:
The unwed mothers who acted like they were interested in dating me were actually more interested in dating my paycheck.  Plus, it is no fun being prioritized behind everyone else, including their family pets. Never, ever again.


I highlighted the keywords. That right there implies a lower level of maturity. My future wife was 28, divorced, and had just turned the corner. We raised her 3 daughters with no problem and no loss of self, along with a special needs granddaughter. And yes, "baby mama" is a thing to avoid, another similar term. Try "single mother" or even "single parent family" which is a subtle indication of how the woman views her priorities and expectations.


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Jan 2024, 3:41 pm

Personally, no I wouldn't.
It certainly wouldn't be ideal.

I have kids.
I wouldn't want to Brady Bunch.
Been there, done that.
Epic disaster.

I dated as a single parent.
It was a nightmare.
Idiots tried to tell me how to parent.
Idiots abused my kids.
Their kids abused my kids.

I earned way more than they ever did.
I certainly wasn't a baby mama.
They treated me more like a gravy train.


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nick007
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24 Jan 2024, 4:51 pm

Havimg kids or requiring to with their partner was one of the few dealbreakers I've had. I never wanted kids partly because I have various disabilities that would make raising kids very difficult. I'd hate for my partner to resent me because she feels like I'm another one of her kids instead of being a dad to her kids/our kids. Plus I'd rather be in a relationship with a woman who also has various disabilities & having kids would make things alot more difficult for the both of us & would not be fair to the kids to have both parents who are majorly struggling with lots of life things.


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Jan 2024, 5:39 pm

It's also hard if those kids still see their other parent.
Then the other parent judges you as not good enough.
Their kids judge you for not being their real mum or dad / step-parent.

I know there are very positive experiences for some families.
I think it's great if it can happen.

For me though, having my own kids, they're the only kids I want to worry about.
My plate is already full.
I can't juggle my kids and theirs, and my own needs, and my partner's needs.
Maybe it would be different if I didn't have kids but they did.


* I think I hit the jackpot with MR.
He has no kids, and both his parents had already died.
I didn't even have to meet in-laws.

Wink.


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nick007
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25 Jan 2024, 12:44 am

One of my cousins is a bad example for single moms. She was pregnant with her first kid when she graduated high-school. Moved in with the dad shortly after that. A couple years later she had a second kid with him. The dad was kinda a bad boy type & he was dumb enough to get arrested boosting cars & buying drugs & went to prison a couple times during that period. Shortly after they got married my cousin decided to divorce the guy. Some time later she got in a long-term relationship with a nice guy who had no kids. After a while he had her & her kids move in with him into a family home that he inherited. About half a year after they were living together he broke up with her & moved in with a relative for a couple months while she got things in order to leave. The reason why he broke up with her is because she was yelling at & cursing her kids out a lot & he couldn't take it. Some time later she got in another long-term relationship with another nice guy who had no kids. After being together a while they moved in together for a few years & then got married. As soon as her kids were out of college she divorced the guy & started going to bars a lot hooking up with random guys living the single life she did not get to enjoy in her 20s. Me & my family don't understand why the nice guys got in a serious relationship with her unless it's because they felt bad for her & her kids.

I'm sure there's lots of good caring single parents out there who want a romantic relationship because they desire companionship. It's too bad that the bad ones cause so much negative stigma that can make it more difficult for the good caring ones to find potential partners.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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25 Jan 2024, 10:49 am

I'm a single father of two sons, and my girlfriend has no problem with that. Of course, my sons are teenagers who will be on their own soon, and I've never expected her to play the role of mother to them.


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nick007
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30 Jan 2024, 11:06 am

The highest priority for any decent parent is their kids as it should be. A parent's romantic partners should be second place at most. If a couple has kids together or each has their own kids with different people, both parents would relate & be OK with being second place in each others lives. However if one parent already has kids & their partner does not, their partner might have a very difficult time accepting second place & the parent might be their first priority instead of the kids. I would have an extremely difficult time being second place to my partner & she would likely be my top priority instead of her kids.


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