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elotepreparado
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06 Feb 2024, 4:09 pm

I heard about this site from my dad. He was diagnosed when I was diagnosed. I was 11. He was 46. Two cousins of mine, the sons of two of his brothers, were diagnosed after me. (Call me a trailblazer or whatever)

I have family like me. But even we are still so different from each other. My dad and I relate the most but we have different interests now. He advocates for me the most. He understands me the most.

I am graduating hopefully this Fall 2024. I got married Spring 2023 to my partner that I had been dating for like 10 years. Basically since we were kids. He is barely passing NT. He had to be tested twice because the teachers were sure he had autism, lol. But he is barely subclinical. Has repetitive behaviors and is introvert but not affecting him negatively and he gets no meltdowns. He still understands me a lot so we work with each other on things.

University and social life and family life and everything is very stressful. Everyone and everything makes me feel like an alien. Like I need a manual for everything. I want to be in a space where I am less alien.

So I remembered seeing Wrong Planet on my dad's old CRT computer monitor.



ocean
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06 Feb 2024, 4:52 pm

welcome!


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Hokulea
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06 Feb 2024, 4:58 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet.



jimmy m
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07 Feb 2024, 9:43 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Although you and your husband are different, you both may have Aspie traits. It affects males and females differently. If you work together well as a team, that is a good thing. It is a little bit like a coin. There are two sides to a coin. Each side is different but together they are paired as one.


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belijojo
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07 Feb 2024, 9:45 am

wellcome


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07 Feb 2024, 10:04 am

You mention he gets no meltdowns. What about shutdowns? (They come in various forms from just mental to physical though if physical there is a mental aspect to it as it is the mind shutting down its systems when it senses an overload where it can't cope).

I only mention this because 60% of those on the spectrum experience meltdowns and 60% experience shutdowns (Just as common as meltdowns) and obviously the two overlap and some lucky individuals get none of the above! (Rare but someone I know on this site gets neither shutdowns or meltdowns, and rare because being on the spectrum can usually put more mental stress on the mind than most allistic people can get (Though allistic people can logically get meltdowns or even shutdowns if pushed too far, though for them it is so rare that if it is a shutdown, they may think it is a major thing and take a long break from work to de-stress (The best thing to do if one has either shutdowns! Looking back my first boss had what he called a "Funny turn" due to stress and he took his health seriously as they assumed it was his heart (He was retirement age), but looking back of his situation at the time and the stress he put himself under (Self done as he was a real go-getter but would not listen to our advice so ended up going through stressful situations he could have avoided), I am sure it was his mind shutting down? It mighthave been his heart, but he didn't get the palpetations one would have thought one would get... So am sondering if it was a shutdown due to major stress as we could all see him getting really worked up. May have been both?)


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07 Feb 2024, 5:23 pm

Welcome toe WP! I hope you like it here.


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elotepreparado
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07 Feb 2024, 6:36 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
You mention he gets no meltdowns. What about shutdowns? (They come in various forms from just mental to physical though if physical there is a mental aspect to it as it is the mind shutting down its systems when it senses an overload where it can't cope).

I only mention this because 60% of those on the spectrum experience meltdowns and 60% experience shutdowns (Just as common as meltdowns) and obviously the two overlap and some lucky individuals get none of the above! (Rare but someone I know on this site gets neither shutdowns or meltdowns, and rare because being on the spectrum can usually put more mental stress on the mind than most allistic people can get (Though allistic people can logically get meltdowns or even shutdowns if pushed too far, though for them it is so rare that if it is a shutdown, they may think it is a major thing and take a long break from work to de-stress (The best thing to do if one has either shutdowns! Looking back my first boss had what he called a "Funny turn" due to stress and he took his health seriously as they assumed it was his heart (He was retirement age), but looking back of his situation at the time and the stress he put himself under (Self done as he was a real go-getter but would not listen to our advice so ended up going through stressful situations he could have avoided), I am sure it was his mind shutting down? It mighthave been his heart, but he didn't get the palpetations one would have thought one would get... So am sondering if it was a shutdown due to major stress as we could all see him getting really worked up. May have been both?)


I think that maybe my husband has shutdowns? If they are the times that things get too much we need space and time to feel like we can function again then yes. I know when he is starting to feel that way because he might not hear me or won't reply to me as quickly. So I just stop talking and I give him space to come back. We respect that we don't mean to hurt each other with our inattention in these moments because we understand what's going on and communicated about it in the past. They are rare for him and usually he only needs to disconnect from everything for a few hours to a day. He has the same triggers as I do but he is less sensitive (it takes more noise, light, etc) and it takes more time for him to get overwhelmed.

I think he has definitely has aspie traits because even as a kid, his scores and interview results from both assessments were just below clinical diagnosis (referred for assessment by teachers and then by doctor when he was like 8 and then 10). So he probably has the "broader" type if he is an aspie :D



elotepreparado
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07 Feb 2024, 6:59 pm

jimmy m wrote:
Welcome to Wrong Planet. Although you and your husband are different, you both may have Aspie traits. It affects males and females differently. If you work together well as a team, that is a good thing. It is a little bit like a coin. There are two sides to a coin. Each side is different but together they are paired as one.


He has aspie traits and I have asperger's. We work really well since he can understand what I deal with and can help me communicate it. When I don't have the words to describe what I am feeling, he seems to find them for me since he has similar experiences! It is very nice to have that connection.

I actually just had a discussion with my mom about "male autism" a few days ago. It is strange how me and my husband kind of "switched" in the stereotypes and typical traits for autistic males and females.

When I was diagnosed as a child, my mom said there was a long discussion about the key infant and toddler observations that separated my asperger's disorder diagnosis from autism disorder. The psychologist had mentioned asperger's usually being more mild for girls and that girls tended to have less repetitive behavior symptoma so it was specifically my lack of language issues that got me an asperger's diagnosis instead of autism. She was shocked that he implied I had a "male aspergers" and that the severity of my symptoms for a girl would have gotten me the autism diagnosis instead of asperger's.

It was strange to think that because I am female, my symptoms might be considered more severe than if I were male.



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07 Feb 2024, 7:27 pm

Is odd. I am male and due to masking I went through life not knowing I was on the spectrum though I disn't realize what autism was. But what I am saying is that it was said that women on the spectrum mask which is odd because I am a man.


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elotepreparado
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08 Feb 2024, 12:51 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Is odd. I am male and due to masking I went through life not knowing I was on the spectrum though I disn't realize what autism was. But what I am saying is that it was said that women on the spectrum mask which is odd because I am a man.


I was told that some traits, even unmasked, are more socially acceptable for men so it is less likely to be seen as an autism trait. But men can definitely mask well. I just happened to not be very good at it. Everyone is different.



jimmy m
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08 Feb 2024, 9:07 am

elotepreparado wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
Welcome to Wrong Planet. Although you and your husband are different, you both may have Aspie traits. It affects males and females differently. If you work together well as a team, that is a good thing. It is a little bit like a coin. There are two sides to a coin. Each side is different but together they are paired as one.


He has aspie traits and I have asperger's. We work really well since he can understand what I deal with and can help me communicate it. When I don't have the words to describe what I am feeling, he seems to find them for me since he has similar experiences! It is very nice to have that connection.

I actually just had a discussion with my mom about "male autism" a few days ago. It is strange how me and my husband kind of "switched" in the stereotypes and typical traits for autistic males and females.

When I was diagnosed as a child, my mom said there was a long discussion about the key infant and toddler observations that separated my asperger's disorder diagnosis from autism disorder. The psychologist had mentioned asperger's usually being more mild for girls and that girls tended to have less repetitive behavior symptoma so it was specifically my lack of language issues that got me an asperger's diagnosis instead of autism. She was shocked that he implied I had a "male aspergers" and that the severity of my symptoms for a girl would have gotten me the autism diagnosis instead of asperger's.

It was strange to think that because I am female, my symptoms might be considered more severe than if I were male.


This is interesting. I have a slightly different form of Asperger's Syndrome. I think it might be a little unique. If you look at a coin, it has two sides, two very different sides. Flip the coin over. Most people live their lives on one side or the other side. Some are normal humans others belong in a world called "Wrong Planet". But I have both sides of a coin. I view life from both sides. Why is this? When I was young my mother bought me a doll. It wasn't really a doll, it was a Howdy Doody Doll.



It wasn't really a doll it was a marionette. It had eyes that moved, a mouth that moved, a head that moved. It was almost like a living breathing person. By using this device as a child, I learned to bring both sides of a coin together to create a unique person. And it all happened when I was a small child.

A year ago, I was on a ski lift up a large mountain. There were several people in my tram. There was a small girl. She stood up to look what was ahead as we went up the mountain. But she did something that was very unique. She also took her little doll and positioned it to also look up the hill. They were both looking up the hill together. They were two sides of a coin both looking in the same direction.


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09 Feb 2024, 8:40 am

welcome, glad you found us! <3


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01 Mar 2024, 9:24 pm

Welcome to WP :salut:


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01 Mar 2024, 11:10 pm

Welcome to WP! :alien: