Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual?

Page 3 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

10 Feb 2024, 3:00 pm

nick007 wrote:
^^^I may be wrong about this but I think that this may of been her first relationship or first somewhat serious one. Thus she did not have the experience nor insight about herself to understand & explain what was going on. She was telling him that she needed more time to be ready for sex & she eventually would but but not giving an estimate about when that time would come. The OP did not want to risk continuing to date her for a long time only to realize years later possibly after getting married that she would never be ready for sex with him. BTW I think simply saying "I'm not ready" with no other real details when the couple has been dating a while is something I would expect from an inexperienced teenager. Us autistics are stereotyped to be immature & behind our NT peers with lots of things but judging from what I've seen on this forum, lots of autistic womem have a bit of sexual experience & would like or at least not mind having sex within a serious relationship assuming the guy tried to treat her with respect. My 2nd girlfriend was also on the spectrum & she was a virgin but was very willing to have sex once our relationship got a tad serious if her parents woulda been OK with us being alone together unmartied. Her parents were very traditional & wanted our relationship on their terms.


she claims she was not sexually active with her ex's either, reminds me, i've heard this powerful statement many time in regards to men and women being different about sex.

"women need an emotional connection before having sex, men just need a time and a place".



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,287
Location: Hell

10 Feb 2024, 3:04 pm

It depends on the man and woman.


_________________
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

10 Feb 2024, 3:20 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
she claims she was not sexually active with her ex's either, reminds me, i've heard this powerful statement many time in regards to men and women being different about sex.

"women need an emotional connection before having sex, men just need a time and a place".
I've heard that statement before more than a few times. I think that could be true in general judging by how much rape & sexual harassment I hear about being committed by guys & how many women complain about guys mostly wanting hookups instead of actual relationships. That said it's very important to note that there are LOTS of exceptions & variation with this. I'm probably one of the exceptions if I really count as a guy :wink:


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,189
Location: Outter Quadrant

10 Feb 2024, 3:46 pm

am noticing about being asexual ...but as if the relationship part was not a issue , on the plus side .?
Men and women ( much less Aspie men and women) ..... Can practically feel almost imposdible to find somebody , you might have that compatability with . Some people go an entire lifetime in lonilyness . In Long quiet struggles .
Am sure to some people at different ages might feel differently , about sex ....but if your goal might be to find a lifemate
Migt want to have one of those ,you can get old with ..And not be bickering about , every week .( just one opinion) of someone, whom might be older . :nerdy:


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

10 Feb 2024, 3:50 pm

Jakki wrote:
am noticing about being asexual ...but as if the relationship part was not a issue , on the plus side .?
Men and women ( much less Aspie men and women) ..... Can practically feel almost imposdible to find somebody , you might have that compatability with . Some people go an entire lifetime in lonilyness . In Long quiet struggles .
Am sure to some people at different ages might feel differently , about sex ....but if your goal might be to find a lifemate
Migt want to have one of those ,you can get old with ..And not be bickering about , every week .( just one opinion) of someone, whom might be older . :nerdy:
Some people really enjoy make-up sex thou. I don't get it, I def would not want sex with someone I just had a fight with.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,451
Location: Right over your left shoulder

10 Feb 2024, 3:50 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
"women need an emotional connection before having sex, men just need a time and a place".


I've known women who only needed a time and a place. I'm not sure that cliché holds up in the real world.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

12 Feb 2024, 10:45 am

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
"women need an emotional connection before having sex, men just need a time and a place".


I've known women who only needed a time and a place. I'm not sure that cliché holds up in the real world.


yeah, overall, thats why im kind of reluctant to call my ex, an ex, since it didn't feel like a true relationship due to her having issues with physical intimacy.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

22 Feb 2024, 5:13 pm

yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,451
Location: Right over your left shoulder

22 Feb 2024, 5:27 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

22 Feb 2024, 10:43 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


well people and society promote and say that physical intimacy or sex is a normal healthy part of a relationship.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,451
Location: Right over your left shoulder

22 Feb 2024, 11:20 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


well people and society promote and say that physical intimacy or sex is a normal healthy part of a relationship.


Yes, it's typically a part, it's not the entire purpose.

I think the overall level of intimacy is relevant, not just if you've had sex. A f**k buddy isn't necessarily more of a 'girlfriend' than someone you've partnered with but never f****d.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

23 Feb 2024, 2:15 am

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


well people and society promote and say that physical intimacy or sex is a normal healthy part of a relationship.


Yes, it's typically a part, it's not the entire purpose.

I think the overall level of intimacy is relevant, not just if you've had sex. A f**k buddy isn't necessarily more of a 'girlfriend' than someone you've partnered with but never f****d.
Very true. I never had sex nor fooled around with either of my exes but I still thought of them as my girlfriends; I was 28 when I was in my second relationship. I went a few years without having sex or foolimg around with my current girlfriend due to her having health issues & I think of her as my wife.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,267
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

23 Feb 2024, 8:01 am

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, i feel that i shouldn't call my ex an ex-girlfriend, that she was not a true girlfriend due to her being asexual


It sounds like you're 15 and still think the only point of a relationship is getting your dick wet.


well people and society promote and say that physical intimacy or sex is a normal healthy part of a relationship.


Yes, it's typically a part, it's not the entire purpose.

I think the overall level of intimacy is relevant, not just if you've had sex. A f**k buddy isn't necessarily more of a 'girlfriend' than someone you've partnered with but never f****d.

People like to discredit the importance of physical intimacy in a relationship, and to want to shame people who desire partnered sex but no access to it. Especially if one wants to think they had enough in their own life and it was no big deal.


_________________
My WP story


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,287
Location: Hell

23 Feb 2024, 8:57 am

Given other stuff the OP has said, it’s not just about desiring sex. People can want sex and even feel sorry for themselves sometimes because they haven’t had it. Expressing that they are angry, resentful, and bitter and will always be is something else. A reality check is warranted in my opinion if the OP wants to progress and achieve his goals.


_________________
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.


Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 23 Feb 2024, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,159
Location: United Kingdom

23 Feb 2024, 9:03 am

Did the person you were in a relationship tell you that they were asexual from the outset?

They should have if they were getting into a relationship with you, I mean, it doesn't take a genius of forethought to conclude that it might be an issue for another, heterosexual person in a relationship to have no sex ever in that relationship.

It is reasonable to expect sex after some time in a relationship, but obviously you are not entitled to that and the partner you are with would have to consent.

Discussions and communication should be had early on about that kind of thing in any kind of relationship where there are expectations of sex.



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,267
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

24 Feb 2024, 4:50 am

From what I've observed, asexual people are highly likely to be on the autism spectrum. I don't think it's a common thing in the general population.


_________________
My WP story