Autistic people and marriage

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uniqueme
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10 Mar 2024, 2:54 am

Do autistic people have an especially hard time understanding what a marriage would be like and do they desire marriages less than neurotypicals?



DuckHairback
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10 Mar 2024, 3:08 am

No idea. Personally it never appealed to me. I always thought of it as an elastic band around two magnets - pointless until they start repelling.

I don't care for weddings really and i certainly don't want to be at the centre of one.

I remember seeing an elderly couple on TV when i was a kid and people saying how amazing it was that they'd been married for 60 years and all I could think was how much more amazing it would be if they'd stayed together for 60 years without being married.


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10 Mar 2024, 3:23 am

It didn't appeal to me, but after two kids and going to buy a house we did, no party or ceremony though, that would indefinately have put me off, just our family of four, then it turned out we forgot the witnesses :jester:
Lucky sis-in-law worked somewhere in townhall and her bf too, ppppfff!! !
family was a bit pissed off for not having the day off :shameonyou: :doh:

the rented house was in a new suburbia & quite problematic in many ways, horrible stink on weekends (slaughterhouse) that officially and allegedly didn't exist, (+antisocial nbs -reoccurring theme of life-)
for a much nicer street, and school as well



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10 Mar 2024, 6:24 am

I don't want to get married. After a few hours around people I've burnt myself out and want to retreat to my bedroom. The thought of being legally chained to someone would give me cold sweats.

I read somewhere that autistic people are less likely to get married.



Mikurotoro92
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10 Mar 2024, 12:00 pm

I am Autistic and I desire to get married!

In fact that is my main goal

It is just taking a while to find someone suitable but I'm getting there!! !


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10 Mar 2024, 12:23 pm

I majorly wanted to be married when I was single & also when my relationships were doing long distance. I HATED being alone & I take my romantic relationships very seriously. I liked the idea of being married because I thought we would both be more committed to making our relationship last. However me & my current girlfriend have been living together unmarried for over 11 years now. We woulda got married shortly after we moved in together but we're both disabled & marriage would screw-up her various benefits. Luckily Cass is like me & takes relationships very seriously. It feels like we've been married for a long time now but I still say Girlfriend because saying that word has become a habbit. Cass would prefer to be married for symbolic reasons. If we came into a lot of money somehow I'd have nothing against being married but I would not be in a rush to either. I would prefer not to deal with a ceremony though which is a major reason why Cass would like to be married but I still would do it. I majorly struggled to get dates & girlfriends but I have various disabilities besides autism. After me & my first girlfriend broke up, I was single for 8 years straight without so much as a single date despite my best efforts :(

I do not represent the average Aspie because my personality within a relationship is kina opposite of the sterotypical Aspie. I'm climgy, affectionate, & love spending lots of time with my partner. However I'm the opposite way with everyone else.


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10 Mar 2024, 1:10 pm

Why would they/we have a harder time understanding marriage?

uniqueme wrote:
Do autistic people have an especially hard time understanding what a marriage would be like...


EtA: Still married over twenty years.



Last edited by Blue_Star on 10 Mar 2024, 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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10 Mar 2024, 1:17 pm

It would be interesting to see research on autistics’ views of marriage. While not being entirely opposed to it, I never really wanted to get married because it seemed like a weird custom to me, especially the legal aspects of it, but I was pushed into it by my family. My sister-in-law who is also autistic cannot conceive of NOT getting married. She’s a very black and white thinker. In other words, I suspect that views would run the gamut with, perhaps, more people being at one extreme or the other than is typical.


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10 Mar 2024, 1:32 pm

I’m married. I am diagnosed Autistic. I wanted to be married but had to put some work into the whole dating thing to get it right.


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10 Mar 2024, 3:24 pm

~It's a spectrum~


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autisticelders
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10 Mar 2024, 3:27 pm

probably depends on the individual.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Mar 2024, 5:12 pm

What is marriage?



Mountain Goat
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10 Mar 2024, 5:16 pm

uniqueme wrote:
Do autistic people have an especially hard time understanding what a marriage would be like and do they desire marriages less than neurotypicals?


Depends on the individual.

For me, not at all as I have spent a life watching and observing others. Also for me, and I know a fair number on this site, we drream of such times! :D


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10 Mar 2024, 5:21 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What is marriage?

I think it’s something to do with biohazardous waste. I’m not a scientist though.


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11 Mar 2024, 2:48 pm

I don't want to be chained and bound to anyone. I like my freedom and not willing to change for anyone. I also hear many horror stories about abusive relationships and marriages that end in messy divorces.


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nick007
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11 Mar 2024, 3:26 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What is marriage?

I think it’s something to do with biohazardous waste. I’m not a scientist though.
:lol:

Considering the high rate of divorce, I think people in general tend to have a hard time understanding what a marriage would be like & it may be even harder to understand what being married would be like if one partner is an Aspie & the other is an NT.


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