What can I do if I don't go to social groups, volunteering?

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chris1989
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11 Mar 2024, 11:22 am

I've been on Meetup and for some reason, some of the things going on in area 2 miles, 5 miles or whatever don't seem to interest me like quiz nights at pubs, bingo groups and things like that. There was a ghost tour near where I live but for some reason its for gay and bisexual men.

I did do volunteering at a couple of charity shops in the past, but for some reason I don't feel like I want to get back into it again, some of these places don't look like they have many people in there and some people are much older than me or some look much younger than me.

For another reason, I won't seem to even want to go to a group where other autistic people meet. I've been to these places and still feel like I don't fit in and that I am the only one on the spectrum in there who is more high functioning than the rest in those places and the carers in those groups make it come across as though we are school kids when we are grown adults.

I think maybe I am always aspiring to want to be around other men and women who are the same age as me or a bit younger who are maybe not autistic as I am to interact with but I seem to think that most of those people can only be seen in places that I don't really go to like clubs, bars, pubs on the weekends.

The thing is I know that people are not going to come to my front door and ask to be friends with me, but I really don't know what I can do. I seem more social with staff and customers at work and it so far hasn't landed me with people giving me numbers to contact them and go out with them. I went to a pub in the summer with some work colleagues after a funeral of someone I had worked with for 7 years and I haven't done anymore like it since.



Yugoslav1945
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05 Apr 2024, 11:51 am

chris1989 wrote:
I've been on Meetup and for some reason, some of the things going on in area 2 miles, 5 miles or whatever don't seem to interest me like quiz nights at pubs, bingo groups and things like that. There was a ghost tour near where I live but for some reason its for gay and bisexual men.

I did do volunteering at a couple of charity shops in the past, but for some reason I don't feel like I want to get back into it again, some of these places don't look like they have many people in there and some people are much older than me or some look much younger than me.

For another reason, I won't seem to even want to go to a group where other autistic people meet. I've been to these places and still feel like I don't fit in and that I am the only one on the spectrum in there who is more high functioning than the rest in those places and the carers in those groups make it come across as though we are school kids when we are grown adults.

I think maybe I am always aspiring to want to be around other men and women who are the same age as me or a bit younger who are maybe not autistic as I am to interact with but I seem to think that most of those people can only be seen in places that I don't really go to like clubs, bars, pubs on the weekends.

The thing is I know that people are not going to come to my front door and ask to be friends with me, but I really don't know what I can do. I seem more social with staff and customers at work and it so far hasn't landed me with people giving me numbers to contact them and go out with them. I went to a pub in the summer with some work colleagues after a funeral of someone I had worked with for 7 years and I haven't done anymore like it since.


What an accursed world of Balkanized social circles and social stigma ever-growing in liberal capitalist and nationalist societies. There are those who express their hobbies and interests and manage to get into a community dedicated to such and there are those who aren't so lucky. You are not alone. I too am struggling for like-minded people. Going to random social groups feels like traveling to another country and not having any family relatives who live there. But do not worry, in these times there is a solution. You can form your own group on the Internet and try to recruit some people who are like-minded to your interests. You can also find one online and strike up an online friendship. This is pretty much what we are granted to deal with.

I like history, gaming, and politics, yet no one in my school is interested in that. Because of that, I had to create my own safe space with a few people who are like-minded, and only one online person being my close friend that I managed to get. Truly, that one close friend helped me a lot in my struggle, especially when I lost a real-life close friend due to liberalism and when I felt like losing it. Eventually, the grief journey would soon later become a slow recovery as I began to feel less emotional pain.

You see, if you can't find a perfect social group, you should do it on the Internet. Make a small social group of your own and get a few people. One of them will surely be interested in understanding you and one of them will stick with you and you will stick with me. Both of you will one day be the best friends you truly wanted to be.


_________________
"In a socialist society such phenomena must and will disappear. In the old Yugoslavia national oppression by the great-Serb capitalist clique meant strengthening the economic exploitation of the oppressed peoples. This is the inevitable fate of all who suffer from national oppression."

- Josip Broz Tito (Ljubljana, 1948)


Summer_Twilight
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12 Apr 2024, 10:47 am

I think volunteering is a great alternative if you don't find a meet-up that you like. As for meet-ups, they are for people who have shared interests as as well something in common.

For instance, I recently joined a new singles Jewish singles group for people in their 40's and 50's. I will tell you that I was very scared about going and then tried an event. I found that I liked the people and the events who aren't cliquey.

For instance, they had a Super Bowl party at a very cool home with some great hosts. They also have lots of people there who seem to be neurodiverse.