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FranzOren
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16 Mar 2024, 4:36 pm

I still feel very embarrassed about my anger issues in the past and talking about my dark and twisted fantasies about doing something terrible to people who made fun of me in the past. I also feel embarrassed about what I talked about in the past online, because there was police involvement as someone reported me to the police due to my past behavior online. I once had voices in my head telling me to do those things to people who made fun of me in the past and was in a psychiatric hospital to treat my voices in my head, but still, I feel ashamed of myself.

I know that this was two years ago, but every time I remember what I said online and even the voices that I had, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself, I am sorry!



babybird
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16 Mar 2024, 4:41 pm

You're in good company here.

I don't think there are many people who can claim to have never done anything they're not proud of. I've done some awful things but there's not much I can do about the past. I can only make a better future


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__Elijahahahaho
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16 Mar 2024, 4:43 pm

Chances are you were totally right to be angry and some asshat was winding you up.

Society shames people who are angry, but anger is a constructive emotion if it is directed
at a real source of injustice or harm.

It is convenient for rulers to have a culture that shames anger, because this makes
subduing exploited groups and minorities easier.



FranzOren
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16 Mar 2024, 4:51 pm

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
Chances are you were totally right to be angry and some asshat was winding you up.

Society shames people who are angry, but anger is a constructive emotion if it is directed
at a real source of injustice or harm.

It is convenient for rulers to have a culture that shames anger, because this makes
subduing exploited groups and minorities easier.


My anger mabe justified, but I was very angry for a long time and had command hallucination telling me to do something very terrible to people who made fun of me in the past.



FranzOren
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16 Mar 2024, 4:53 pm

babybird wrote:
You're in good company here.

I don't think there are many people who can claim to have never done anything they're not proud of. I've done some awful things but there's not much I can do about the past. I can only make a better future


Thanks, I still feel embarrassed though.



babybird
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16 Mar 2024, 4:53 pm

It won't last forever. Be kind to yourself


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FranzOren
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16 Mar 2024, 4:54 pm

babybird wrote:
It won't last forever. Be kind to yourself


Hey thanks!



pbrane1a4
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16 Mar 2024, 10:36 pm

What you experience as rage is a thousand times more intense for me.



FranzOren
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16 Mar 2024, 11:10 pm

pbrane1a4 wrote:
What you experience as rage is a thousand times more intense for me.


I do feel much better now, but you are correct.