33 year old never been in a relationship- need help.

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blitzkrieg
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06 Jun 2024, 10:38 am

^^ I think people have different reasons for being on WP.

For some people, WP is like a last chance saloon as rootb33r suggests and for others it can be a place where, when a person is financially stable and has a lot of free time - they are free to post and get into the everyday goings on of a forum like this one.



babybird
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06 Jun 2024, 10:51 am

I just like chilling here me


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Jun 2024, 10:52 am

I don't think a person has to be financially stable. Assuming we all have access to the internet somewhere, the person could be very low income, unemployed, unable to work, dependent on parents, etc. I'm not financially stable and lots of others are struggling too. I'm also not here to get into the "goings on" so much as it helps me to type my thoughts for my own sake or to help others. Some people get off on drama but that doesn't interest me at all.


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blitzkrieg
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06 Jun 2024, 4:49 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think a person has to be financially stable. Assuming we all have access to the internet somewhere, the person could be very low income, unemployed, unable to work, dependent on parents, etc. I'm not financially stable and lots of others are struggling too. I'm also not here to get into the "goings on" so much as it helps me to type my thoughts for my own sake or to help others. Some people get off on drama but that doesn't interest me at all.


Well, I just kinda meant financially stable enough to not work and have work take all of one's time up, thus leaving less time for posting on a forum like this one.

Even if that financial stability is given by parents or unemployment benefits or whatever.

By "goings on" I didn't mean necessarily drama - just the lives of different WP members.



blitzkrieg
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06 Jun 2024, 4:50 pm

babybird wrote:
I just like chilling here me


Same, lol.



WantToHaveALife
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06 Jun 2024, 11:01 pm

nick007 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
nick007 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
As for Nick007, you have a sexless relationship at the moment, you are still a virgin too?
We've fooled around some & had sex a little but it's been like a couple years since we've done that.


and are you saying you never had sex until your 30s?
Correct. I've had a couple opportunities in my 20s but there were reasons I turned em down. One was because I was in my first relationship at the time. The relationship was mostly long distance & we did not have much unsupervised time together in person due to her being a bit younger than me. The same weekend I had turned down an opportunity with the roommate of one of my couisins(I spent the weekend hanging out there) my gf admitred to cheating on me with her ex because he offered her a drug. After that I cared a lot more about being with someone who did not use illegal drugs & also would not cheat than care if she'll have sex with me or not.


yeah, obviously i'm completely aware we can't change the past, when people say that, i say to them sarcastically, thank you for stating the obvious, but some 2 women i interacted with or was acquainted with in my past life, i regret not pursuing things further with them, i like to think if i had pursued things further with them, my life would have turned out a whole lot different, i like to think at least one of these 2 women could have rescued me or saved me from becoming an incel, or just prevent me from having incel-like thoughts, mentality.

i also feel kinda tempted to say the same thing with a woman i had a situationship with back in 2017, when i was 29, she was the complete opposite of my most recent partner, as in, she had no issues or no hang-ups or trauma around sex.



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07 Jun 2024, 2:08 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
a person is financially stable

There's a strong correlation between stability (self-sufficiency) and ability to function as a member of the society. I can see concerned parents of children coming here to discuss managing their child, but beyond that it's gonna be just the losers who can't make it in the real world.

Of course there are some weirdos that are an exception, but as a general case this is rather accurate.



Mikurotoro92
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07 Jun 2024, 11:30 am

r00tb33r wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
a person is financially stable

There's a strong correlation between stability (self-sufficiency) and ability to function as a member of the society. I can see concerned parents of children coming here to discuss managing their child, but beyond that it's gonna be just the losers who can't make it in the real world.

Of course there are some weirdos that are an exception, but as a general case this is rather accurate.


Quoted for truth

You are ABSOLUTELY correct!! !

My brother is never going to make it in the real world because he has never had to learn how to be self-sufficient!

Until now with my relationship with (and engagement to!! !) my boyfriend David

I am NOT calling my own brother a "loser" by any means but he does need to start doing something with his life instead of just sitting at his computer all day playing video games!


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Last edited by Cornflake on 07 Jun 2024, 5:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.: Fixed formatting tags

babybird
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07 Jun 2024, 11:49 am

Oh you're engaged now are you

Congrats to you and David


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Mikurotoro92
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07 Jun 2024, 12:03 pm

babybird wrote:
Oh you're engaged now are you

Congrats to you and David


Yep we are! :heart: :heart: :heart:

Thanks!! !


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blitzkrieg
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07 Jun 2024, 12:04 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
a person is financially stable

There's a strong correlation between stability (self-sufficiency) and ability to function as a member of the society. I can see concerned parents of children coming here to discuss managing their child, but beyond that it's gonna be just the losers who can't make it in the real world.

Of course there are some weirdos that are an exception, but as a general case this is rather accurate.


I think I probably used the wrong words with "financially stable".

For me personally, having to work to meet one's outgoing payments seems like a financially precarious situation, whereas some other people would view having a job and having an income as being financially stable.

I'm not sure I agree with the term "losers" for people who can't make it in the real world. That seems like a harsh term to use.



Fromthenorthofmars
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07 Jun 2024, 9:52 pm

43 never dated also avoided dating in the past 13 years due to a sleep disorder. And health issues have also ruined my physical appearence and weight which have made me feel bad about my appearence on top of having issues facing rejection and feeling ugly and undesirable even before the health problems.



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07 Jun 2024, 10:09 pm

Welcome fromthenorthofmars..hope you enjoy our planet...one way or another !


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blitzkrieg
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08 Jun 2024, 10:14 am

^ Aye, welcome to the forum.



QuantumChemist
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08 Jun 2024, 10:58 am

Fromthenorthofmars wrote:
43 never dated also avoided dating in the past 13 years due to a sleep disorder. And health issues have also ruined my physical appearence and weight which have made me feel bad about my appearence on top of having issues facing rejection and feeling ugly and undesirable even before the health problems.


Welcome to WP. You are not alone here. I have the same record in non-dating as you except add almost another decade. It was by my own choice though. I had a few good chances, but decided that I did not feel worthy enough for love (long story). It was just not meant to be for me.

At some point long ago, I realized life is what you make it to be. You do not need another person to build you who you are. It is better to live your own life than to be forced to live a different one that you cannot adapt to for someone else. Too many miserable people in those type of relationships already.

I am the only one in my graduating high school class that is not married/divorced with at least three kids. They make fun of me for this, but I see it from the other side of the fence. I have no wife or children to care for, nor payments to make for them. My life is much simpler that way.

My advice: Seek happiness from where you can find it in life, as I put my efforts into my hobbies and my research projects.



WantToHaveALife
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08 Jun 2024, 7:34 pm

Fromthenorthofmars wrote:
43 never dated also avoided dating in the past 13 years due to a sleep disorder. And health issues have also ruined my physical appearence and weight which have made me feel bad about my appearence on top of having issues facing rejection and feeling ugly and undesirable even before the health problems.


why do i assume im correct in what you mean