Still living with parents @ 27yo, what is my future?

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Butterfly
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10 Apr 2024, 3:06 pm

Hi all,

First time I am posting here so I apologize if there is anything I am doing wrong.

——————————————————————

I am a 27yo male living at home with my parents. I am located in the United States.

Currently, I have a job that I have been at for 3 years. Which I still can’t believe, I was resigned to the fact I would be unemployed forever.

My dilemma is that I know it won’t last. I can tell my employer is annoyed with me and I would be surprised if I last here much longer.

I can also feel my mental and physical health completely deteriorating. I am incredibly depressed and anxious. It has been bad like this in the past.

Is there a future for me? Is there any chance I can get on SSDI?

My parents say they don’t mind me living there, which I do think is partially true. But I know it would be better to move out and at some point they won’t be around.

Is there a positive outcome to this?



honeytoast
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10 Apr 2024, 4:03 pm

First off I want to say that there's nothing wrong with living with family. It is so much harder to live on your own these days, especially with how expensive everything has become.

Have you looked into getting another job instead of getting onto SSDI? I'm sure that there might be something similar out there if you lurked on job searching websites.

I think you're making a huge assumption that your life is going to be over. You have the whole world to look forward too. What has gotten you down?


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blitzkrieg
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10 Apr 2024, 4:10 pm

I agree with HT.

It is more acceptable to live with ones parents in the current economic climate. If it works with the social dynamics of the living arrangement, then a lot of benefit can be had economically in such a situation.

Pishing your precious money away in a cost of living crisis, on exorbitant rents or mortgage payments isn't for everyone.

Even if you do go on SSDI, it isn't the end of the world, either.

Although employment would probably be more fulfilling for you I would imagine, if you can keep a job (any job - not necessarily just your current job).



DanielW
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10 Apr 2024, 4:12 pm

No one's job is for life anymore. The fact that you have been working for years now means you can probably work elsewhere if you need to (like anyone else.) If you truly can't work due to a disability (including autism) you can apply for SSDI. The process takes at least a year and you may not be approved the first time you apply. If you ARE approved, chances are you won't be able to live independently unless you can magically survive at an income level that is 20% less than the poverty level.

There is nothing wrong with living at home either way. Lots of people do NT and ND's alike.



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10 Apr 2024, 4:33 pm

If you have held down a job for 3 years then you are in a much better situation to get a new job is this job ends. My advise is to try to be positive and do your best at your current job. No need to hurry to move out from you parents. You are still very young. If it makes it easier to handle your work that way i think you should stay at your parents for a couple of more years.


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10 Apr 2024, 4:43 pm

DanielW wrote:
No one's job is for life anymore. The fact that you have been working for years now means you can probably work elsewhere if you need to (like anyone else.) If you truly can't work due to a disability (including autism) you can apply for SSDI. The process takes at least a year and you may not be approved the first time you apply. If you ARE approved, chances are you won't be able to live independently unless you can magically survive at an income level that is 20% less than the poverty level.

There is nothing wrong with living at home either way. Lots of people do NT and ND's alike.


Yes, that is partially what has me concerned. This job situation is rather unique and on paper, is ideal. My concern is that I am barely able to function much outside of work even with a seemingly ideal work arrangement. If this job didn't come up when it did, I would have probably applied for benefits.

I only ask about SSDI because I figure it is better to do it now when I have some kind of safety net vs. the future when it might be more urgent. I understand that there is no perfect solution and that SSDI / SSI presents a different set of challenges. I don't live a luxurious life as is and wonder what the trade off would be with not being employed.

Parents aren't elderly but, they aren't getting any younger. My concern is less about the now and more about when they are no longer around. I think overall everyone gets along okay, I suspect they are both heavily on the spectrum also. I give them money every month too, they also benefit from the additional financially support.



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10 Apr 2024, 4:50 pm

honeytoast wrote:
First off I want to say that there's nothing wrong with living with family. It is so much harder to live on your own these days, especially with how expensive everything has become.

Have you looked into getting another job instead of getting onto SSDI? I'm sure that there might be something similar out there if you lurked on job searching websites.

I think you're making a huge assumption that your life is going to be over. You have the whole world to look forward too. What has gotten you down?


It is the fact I am in such a poor place mentally. I guess it was naive but, I thought perhaps getting and keeping a job would help things a bit.

I don't even necessarily hate this job, it is more I can tell they don't really like my personality.

More and more I can feel my mind slipping away from me. I am trying to find the right medical professional but they aren't easy to come by.



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10 Apr 2024, 5:08 pm

opensettings wrote:
DanielW wrote:
No one's job is for life anymore. The fact that you have been working for years now means you can probably work elsewhere if you need to (like anyone else.) If you truly can't work due to a disability (including autism) you can apply for SSDI. The process takes at least a year and you may not be approved the first time you apply. If you ARE approved, chances are you won't be able to live independently unless you can magically survive at an income level that is 20% less than the poverty level.

There is nothing wrong with living at home either way. Lots of people do NT and ND's alike.


Yes, that is partially what has me concerned. This job situation is rather unique and on paper, is ideal. My concern is that I am barely able to function much outside of work even with a seemingly ideal work arrangement. If this job didn't come up when it did, I would have probably applied for benefits.

I only ask about SSDI because I figure it is better to do it now when I have some kind of safety net vs. the future when it might be more urgent. I understand that there is no perfect solution and that SSDI / SSI presents a different set of challenges. I don't live a luxurious life as is and wonder what the trade off would be with not being employed.

Parents aren't elderly but, they aren't getting any younger. My concern is less about the now and more about when they are no longer around. I think overall everyone gets along okay, I suspect they are both heavily on the spectrum also. I give them money every month too, they also benefit from the additional financially support.


SSDI could be a kind of safety net, with a lot of caveats. Could you survive for a year or 2 waiting to be approved without an income? Most eligible folks are denied the first and even second times around. Unfortunately, a work history counts against you, unless you suddenly have a work-related disability. And like I said, its 20% less that poverty ($800-1000 a month) Most people can't pay rent or a mortgage on that let alone all the other expenses we all have that are above that. The $2000 asset limit means you can't save money or have anything worth more than that as an asset - it complicates life enormously.

Now is the time though to think about estate planning (if you think you won't be able to remain gainfully employed at an adequate level.). your parents and your family can hold assets for you in Trust for your continued support later in your lives.

There is no shame in living at home or for needing disability income, but it is hard to live with security and dignity with so little in monthly benefits to work with.



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10 Apr 2024, 5:25 pm

DanielW wrote:
opensettings wrote:
DanielW wrote:
No one's job is for life anymore. The fact that you have been working for years now means you can probably work elsewhere if you need to (like anyone else.) If you truly can't work due to a disability (including autism) you can apply for SSDI. The process takes at least a year and you may not be approved the first time you apply. If you ARE approved, chances are you won't be able to live independently unless you can magically survive at an income level that is 20% less than the poverty level.

There is nothing wrong with living at home either way. Lots of people do NT and ND's alike.


Yes, that is partially what has me concerned. This job situation is rather unique and on paper, is ideal. My concern is that I am barely able to function much outside of work even with a seemingly ideal work arrangement. If this job didn't come up when it did, I would have probably applied for benefits.

I only ask about SSDI because I figure it is better to do it now when I have some kind of safety net vs. the future when it might be more urgent. I understand that there is no perfect solution and that SSDI / SSI presents a different set of challenges. I don't live a luxurious life as is and wonder what the trade off would be with not being employed.

Parents aren't elderly but, they aren't getting any younger. My concern is less about the now and more about when they are no longer around. I think overall everyone gets along okay, I suspect they are both heavily on the spectrum also. I give them money every month too, they also benefit from the additional financially support.


SSDI could be a kind of safety net, with a lot of caveats. Could you survive for a year or 2 waiting to be approved without an income? Most eligible folks are denied the first and even second times around. Unfortunately, a work history counts against you, unless you suddenly have a work-related disability. And like I said, its 20% less that poverty ($800-1000 a month) Most people can't pay rent or a mortgage on that let alone all the other expenses we all have that are above that. The $2000 asset limit means you can't save money or have anything worth more than that as an asset - it complicates life enormously.

Now is the time though to think about estate planning (if you think you won't be able to remain gainfully employed at an adequate level.). your parents and your family can hold assets for you in Trust for your continued support later in your lives.

There is no shame in living at home or for needing disability income, but it is hard to live with security and dignity with so little in monthly benefits to work with.


I don't mean to downplay the issues with SSDI, there are challenges involved with it too. My default instinct is to try and take the most risk adverse choice possible. While SSDI might not be an ideal solution, I would at least know that the money wouldn't stop coming in.

Outside of necessary expenses, I have been trying to save rather aggressively, pay isn't spectacular but I have been able to put away some money. Family isn't rich, I don't think there will much of an estate outside of the house. Which I believe is in some kind of trust but, I think that is a different thing.

Is the best route then to just try and get my mental health more manageable?



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10 Apr 2024, 5:34 pm

opensettings wrote:
Is the best route then to just try and get my mental health more manageable?


Personally, I'd say yes. Mostly because I have friends on SSDI who are not living their best lives - only surviving day to day.

If you can find a way to preserve your mental and physical health and still manage to work, that would be your best option. Especially at 27. I'd hate to see anyone stuck on disability and forced into such a miserable existence if there is a better way. Saving money and assets now before getting disability benefits doesn't work. They will force you to spend it all before you get benefit payments.



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10 Apr 2024, 5:53 pm

DanielW wrote:
opensettings wrote:
Is the best route then to just try and get my mental health more manageable?


Personally, I'd say yes. Mostly because I have friends on SSDI who are not living their best lives - only surviving day to day.

If you can find a way to preserve your mental and physical health and still manage to work, that would be your best option. Especially at 27. I'd hate to see anyone stuck on disability and forced into such a miserable existence if there is a better way. Saving money and assets now before getting disability benefits doesn't work. They will force you to spend it all before you get benefit payments.


I was hoping to save enough to buy some small shack to live in as I thought as long as you lived in a property it didn’t count towards your assets.



CockneyRebel
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10 Apr 2024, 6:09 pm

I've been through three different jobs because either the businesses I've worked for have closed down or because of layoffs due to positions being done away with in order for companies to save money.

I lived with my parents until I was 32. There's no right or wrong age to flee the nest, especially with today's economy.


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10 Apr 2024, 6:29 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I've been through three different jobs because either the businesses I've worked for have closed down or because of layoffs due to positions being done away with in order for companies to save money.

I lived with my parents until I was 32. There's no right or wrong age to flee the nest, especially with today's economy.


Yes, economy isn't great. I would really have to leave the area to find someplace that wasn't taking all my money in rent.

How did you get along with your parents? Would you have done anything differently?



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10 Apr 2024, 7:07 pm

Its incredibly hard out there these days. I'm 39 and am back at home. Its embarrassing, especially when all my peers have families and homes of their own. I came close to buying a house a few years ago, just before Covid, but lost out because of a house inspection that came back REALLY bad and the sellers refused to fix any of it. 2020 was even worse. House prices just keep getting worse and so did the interest rates. Rentals have skyrocketed...everything has really, and yet our pay is barely climbing, if at all in some fields.

I currently work retail and my pay has been capped for the last year and a half. I decided to start learning computer programming in hopes of someday landing a good paying job but even the tech industry is suffering right now with massive layoffs and too few open positions for the surge of new programmers coming in every year from all across the world.

Things won't be bad forever though. You just have to take things one day at a time. Don't give up.


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10 Apr 2024, 7:15 pm

opensettings wrote:
DanielW wrote:
opensettings wrote:
Is the best route then to just try and get my mental health more manageable?


Personally, I'd say yes. Mostly because I have friends on SSDI who are not living their best lives - only surviving day to day.

If you can find a way to preserve your mental and physical health and still manage to work, that would be your best option. Especially at 27. I'd hate to see anyone stuck on disability and forced into such a miserable existence if there is a better way. Saving money and assets now before getting disability benefits doesn't work. They will force you to spend it all before you get benefit payments.


I was hoping to save enough to buy some small shack to live in as I thought as long as you lived in a property it didn’t count towards your assets.


Generally, yes you can have a home and a car (there are limitations). real estate gets tricky though, if it appreciates in value, as real estate generally does you may get a lien placed on the property if you receive benefits from the state at some point though. My grandmother had a lien on her home in order to receive benefits of some sort. When she died, the house went to the state. I'm not an expert though a specialist would be able to better advise you.



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10 Apr 2024, 7:44 pm

DanielW wrote:
opensettings wrote:
DanielW wrote:
opensettings wrote:
Is the best route then to just try and get my mental health more manageable?


Personally, I'd say yes. Mostly because I have friends on SSDI who are not living their best lives - only surviving day to day.

If you can find a way to preserve your mental and physical health and still manage to work, that would be your best option. Especially at 27. I'd hate to see anyone stuck on disability and forced into such a miserable existence if there is a better way. Saving money and assets now before getting disability benefits doesn't work. They will force you to spend it all before you get benefit payments.


I was hoping to save enough to buy some small shack to live in as I thought as long as you lived in a property it didn’t count towards your assets.


Generally, yes you can have a home and a car (there are limitations). real estate gets tricky though, if it appreciates in value, as real estate generally does you may get a lien placed on the property if you receive benefits from the state at some point though. My grandmother had a lien on her home in order to receive benefits of some sort. When she died, the house went to the state. I'm not an expert though a specialist would be able to better advise you.


Gotcha. Suppose it is not a realistic plan anyways, at least not at the moment.

(Also, sorry, I don't mean to badger you with questions / or come across as arguing.)