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jaybird621
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19 Apr 2024, 12:26 pm

I have been having meltdowns a lot and mostly happens when I feel anger really really strongly or hear critical feedback. How do yall not take feedback so personally and deal with anger. I'm terrible at dealing with my anger. thanks. I hate my anger and having so many really bad meltdowns. My meltdowns are really bad where I'm screaming and want to hurt myself :(



bee33
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19 Apr 2024, 12:57 pm

I am less angry than I was when I was younger, but I think the only thing that really helps when it's so severe is medication. I would consult a psychiatrist. Not saying there's anything wrong with you, just that prescribed medication might be able to take off that edge.

There are things you can try like deep breathing. There are YouTube videos that explain it, but I think what is usually recommended is breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold your breath to a count of 7, and exhale through your mouth to a count of 8.

You can also try to change how you think, by telling yourself that other people's opinions are their issue and you don't have to take them personally or they don't have to matter to you at all. This is easier said than done, and therapy might help.

Another thing that might help is meditation.



jaybird621
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07 May 2024, 12:23 pm

bee33 wrote:
I am less angry than I was when I was younger, but I think the only thing that really helps when it's so severe is medication. I would consult a psychiatrist. Not saying there's anything wrong with you, just that prescribed medication might be able to take off that edge.

There are things you can try like deep breathing. There are YouTube videos that explain it, but I think what is usually recommended is breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold your breath to a count of 7, and exhale through your mouth to a count of 8.

You can also try to change how you think, by telling yourself that other people's opinions are their issue and you don't have to take them personally or they don't have to matter to you at all. This is easier said than done, and therapy might help.

thanks so much yeah I am on a mood stablizer medication and it does help a bit
Another thing that might help is meditation.



Edna3362
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07 May 2024, 11:22 pm

Experience tells me; there are many layers.
This is years of dealing with a lot of anger and hate.


If it's something acute, be very mindful over it.

Whatever urge you have -- that you know rationally you're going to regret but emotionally want is something you need to hold back into.

Let it pass and breathe. Give yourself about 3 minutes at most.


However, it may not be as effective if said emotions remains stuck.

It may happen for various reasons; either feeding it with thoughts that validate or justify said feelings, or something like a person's difficulty doing internal transitions from one emotions and trail of thought into another.

One solution I can think of is a change of scenery.
Go to a different room, talk to a different person, or taste something out of the blue.

That is, if it's allowed.


Even less effective if it's chronically in the background, waiting for it to be released.

In which may explode without your guard up. But being on guard over said chronic emotions is very exhausting.

This may require another way; channeling it.
But that's tricky, and chances that it may not help you and that emotion may remain. It can be in a form of intense work out.


Worst case of solution is to wait for a random up high enough to distract you, or a low that's low enough to unravel the other possible meanings of the chronic anger.

There are many possible causes; can be your biochemistry, can be your physical health, or something deeper in the mind, or even as simple as sensitivities in internal processing.

Unless you're good at summoning your deeper emotions from meditating it -- go past it's meta counterpart (anger is a very common meta emotion about different emotions like shame, envy, sadness, etc.), one had to wait a window of time to dissect the chronic anger.

But even if you know what that anger meant, can you resolve it for good? That's an even trickier thing; to let it go can happen on a whim or it just won't happen.
Because it's the subconscious; and there's no direct path to the subconscious.


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skibum
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08 May 2024, 4:30 am

jaybird621 wrote:
I have been having meltdowns a lot and mostly happens when I feel anger really really strongly or hear critical feedback. How do yall not take feedback so personally and deal with anger. I'm terrible at dealing with my anger. thanks. I hate my anger and having so many really bad meltdowns. My meltdowns are really bad where I'm screaming and want to hurt myself :(
I am not able to not take it personally. I just have to feel the emotions and that can actually be very extreme and insanely painful. But I have learned that that pain is just something I have to endure so I do.


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BillyTree
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08 May 2024, 9:20 am

Maybe practising some kind of mindfulness meditation could be helpful. It can help you to be able to step back and observe these emotions instead of being taken over by them. Then instead of "being angry" you "feel anger" and have a choice about how to react to the feeling. It takes some practice and work but I have personally found this very helpful.


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08 May 2024, 12:40 pm

Mindfulness, meditation and visualization.


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10 May 2024, 1:27 am

Alcohol, and self-harm, lately... well, same difference...