What is one difference between your thinking and NT thinking

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

__Elijahahahaho
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: GERMANY

21 Apr 2024, 6:53 am

For autistics only!

If you've met one autistic, youve met one autistic, but there probably are commonalities,
and its useful to know the differences, so we can accept ourselves!

For me, I suppose it is still hard to say, after thinking for so long about it and masking so much
I am not myself anymore.

Probably the biggest thing is just fast-paced responses to what others are thinking. I never know what other
people are thinking and tend to focus on much longer term goals and trends.



Double Retired
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,388
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

21 Apr 2024, 10:51 am

CLOSE ENOUGH

I mean what I say, no more and no less, and assume the same from you.

NDs, however, seem to be consistently imprecise and vague and just assume everyone'll correctly understand what they meant, or at least close enough.


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


BillyTree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2023
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 528

21 Apr 2024, 2:18 pm

Double Retired wrote:
CLOSE ENOUGH

I mean what I say, no more and no less, and assume the same from you.

NDs, however, seem to be consistently imprecise and vague and just assume everyone'll correctly understand what they meant, or at least close enough.


Yes. Put in a slightly different way. There are no hidden messages in what I am saying and I don't expect any hidden messages in what you are saying either.


_________________
English is not my first language.


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,667

21 Apr 2024, 4:51 pm

I would say one difference is that I can more clearly see the difference between what I think and what other people think, regardless of such tricks as attempting to appeal to my emotions or to outnumber me.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 69,500
Location: Chez Quis

21 Apr 2024, 5:16 pm

My thinking is extremely monotropic.

Because of my ASD and ADHD, it's either a rabbit hole or nothing.

That includes hyperfocus on sensory input without being able to filter.


WP thread and quiz:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=416920&hilit=monotropism#p9382495


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,725
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

21 Apr 2024, 5:28 pm

My language processing is just one of the many other differences I have to start with.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


neilinmich
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: Michigan USA

22 Apr 2024, 1:35 pm

I'm aspergers. I have concluded that I can't be conniving. There must be some ability required to make conniving possible. I think it's the skill related to theory of mind. Devious tricksters probably have good agility with theory of mind.
It becomes dangerous for me because I can't detect when someone else is being conniving with me.
I expect most NT's will have better theory of mind skills than I do. I know what it's like to think in language, music or math. But I can't think in other people's thoughts. I can't imagine them and manipulate them in my mind like I can with language, music or math.

I think NT's can think in other people's thoughts, beliefs and attitudes.



neilinmich
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: Michigan USA

22 Apr 2024, 2:26 pm

And while we're thinking about thinking I have another theory of how I'm different from NT's. Here's my theory: Everybody lies because everybody has secrets. Everybody lies to hide their own secrets. But nobody knows which secrets everybody else has and how many . So nobody can guess who will be lying about what. And yet NT's seem to navigate through this mess with some success. Isn't privacy just a list of your secrets?

Theory of mind skills must be required to separate the lies from the truth for each person in different circumstances. That blows my mind. I can't see how anybody could do that. And yet NT's pull it off without even knowing they're doing it or that it is a special ability. I feel profoundly disabled compared to NT's that way.

I think NT's are masking all the time too. They have secrets and lie to protect them so they'll appear to be normal just like ND's do. But we don't call it masking when they do it. My masking is just a form of lying to protect my secret.

And what about prejudice, bigotry, racism, and projection. Is that where "theory of mind" has gone wrong?



__Elijahahahaho
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: GERMANY

22 Apr 2024, 3:08 pm

Quote:
And yet NT's pull it off without even knowing they're doing it or that it is a special ability.


This connivingness is something I also ponder and worry about, however I think you overrate how
good nts are. There are studies showing that most people are not much better than chance at lie
detection. You can get a bit better than that using logic, or patterns of behaviour and personality.
This is what they do.

However I think you would find you can lie to them pretty easily. Most people are
much better liars than they realise. Try it sometime.



BillyTree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2023
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 528

22 Apr 2024, 4:02 pm

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
However I think you would find you can lie to them pretty easily. Most people are
much better liars than they realise. Try it sometime.


I'd say autistic masking is lying for a morally right reason. If you are good at masking and present as a non-autistic then you are a good liar. I don't normally lie and am usually honest to a fault. That is not because I lack theory of mind, but because lying for immoral reasons like personal gains goes against my personality. When I am in a situation where I think lying is the morally right thing to do I am an extremely convincing liar. I think a big part of that is that people sense that I am an honest person.


_________________
English is not my first language.


flat_affect
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2024
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 69
Location: Florida

22 Apr 2024, 4:51 pm

neilinmich wrote:
I'm aspergers. I have concluded that I can't be conniving. There must be some ability required to make conniving possible. I think it's the skill related to theory of mind. Devious tricksters probably have good agility with theory of mind.
It becomes dangerous for me because I can't detect when someone else is being conniving with me.
I expect most NT's will have better theory of mind skills than I do. I know what it's like to think in language, music or math. But I can't think in other people's thoughts. I can't imagine them and manipulate them in my mind like I can with language, music or math.

I think NT's can think in other people's thoughts, beliefs and attitudes.


I think this is partially true. For me, the broader problem is monotropism. Lying and manipulation would require us to consider too many hypotheticals and theory of mind is just one those. Trying to manage all those complexities would be overwhelming, at least for me.


_________________
Aspie Quiz ND : 158 NT: 53 | ASQ: 41 | RAADS-R: 179


angelsonthemoon
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2024
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 112

29 Apr 2024, 12:34 pm

NTs tend to be casuals in their interests. I think it is socially rewarded to be this way. Being more knowledgeable or interested than others could make you seem "different" in a negative light.

There is another reason why autistics are more likely to delve deep into their interests. It is because autistics, on average, get less enjoyment or benefit from socializing. The interests then became a way to fill the void.

With NTs, the interest is often a means of relating to others. For autistics, the interest itself can be very pleasurable. It's kind of like saying for NTs the interest is like an object they share with others. Where for autistics, the interest is a person or at least living thing, to be appreciated on its own, not just as a means of bridge building.



__Elijahahahaho
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 136
Location: GERMANY

29 Apr 2024, 4:34 pm

angelsonthemoon wrote:
NTs tend to be casuals in their interests. I think it is socially rewarded to be this way. Being more knowledgeable or interested than others could make you seem "different" in a negative light.

There is another reason why autistics are more likely to delve deep into their interests. It is because autistics, on average, get less enjoyment or benefit from socializing. The interests then became a way to fill the void.

With NTs, the interest is often a means of relating to others. For autistics, the interest itself can be very pleasurable. It's kind of like saying for NTs the interest is like an object they share with others. Where for autistics, the interest is a person or at least living thing, to be appreciated on its own, not just as a means of bridge building.


What happens when an autists interest IS how NTs are casuals in their interests.. I guess you get like an actor like anthony hopkins.