When masking and explanation stop working

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 30 May 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: 33772

30 May 2024, 8:35 pm

I have a wonderful job I love. I have been doing it for 20 years and though every year my annual review says I need to work on communication, I have been able to navigate the pitfalls. Now I am being repeatedly disciplined for how I talk to people. I am afraid I might lose my job. I have now disclosed my diagnosis and asked for accomodations in an attempt to keep my position. The HR person, after reading the recommended accommodations told me they would look into getting training for neurodiverse employees but I really need to work on my communication. My write ups even clearly state that my intentions are good but the words I use are inappropriate. I attended a crucial conversations class and I now see that the issue is that I am not making the situation "safe." How can I make it safe if I can't really tell that the person is uncomfortable? When my boss said, "assuming positive intentions," I thought she meant she was assuming I had positive intentions. In reality, she was feeling threatened and was asking me to assume she had positive intentions. When I have to do something new, I like to know why I have to do it that way, so I explain to other people when a policy or standard practice is violated why the policy or standard practice is important. I am told not to be abrupt and now when I try to explain why I am bringing the issue up that the explanation is threatening. Does anyone else have ideas how I can navigate this? Can they fire me for manifesting my disability if it does not impair my ability to do my job?


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Joined: 7 Oct 2023
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 635

31 May 2024, 2:59 pm

"Can they fire me for manifesting my disability if it does not impair my ability to do my job?" I think this depends on in which country you live. If it's in western Europe in a EU country I doubt they can fire you.

English is not my first language.


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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 27,087
Location: Right over your left shoulder

31 May 2024, 4:01 pm

I'm pretty sure if your manifesting involves verbally abusing others it's not something they're obliged to tolerate.

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