Questions - L&D Version

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Four.
I married the first one quite erroneously.
Then two crazies (also no PIV).
Then a 17.5 year break before MR.

The first three should all be discounted or annulled.
They were bogus relationships with deception.

This is my first time with a legit hetero person.


same q

It’s a bit complicated for me to say given various factors. I’m not sure what I should or shouldn’t include. I think 4 would be the most accurate although that leaves out my first engagement. (He was 5 and I was 6. We were long-time friends. He asked me to marry him when we were at his house sitting on the back porch steps. We kissed 3 times until his mom told us to knock it off. After that minor setback, we proceeded to discuss future plans. We decided that we would have two children - a boy and girl named Joshua and Cassiopeia. Sadly, the relationship could not withstand the distance when I moved away nor his subsequent “girls have cooties” phase.)

A went on a few dates with a guy when I was 18 and he was 19. We grew up together but dating was incredibly awkward due to my selective mutism at the time. He bought me a necklace and bracelet even though we weren’t officially a couple. The gift made things even more awkward because then I felt pressure to not be meh which made me even more meh.

Then I dated my first boyfriend… I loved him very much. When we broke up, stuff happened, and I ended up with my abusive ex. It took a long time for me to stop missing my first boyfriend.

I might talk about other stuff in another post.

Uh, a grand total of zero. I've been on the odd date. Never in a relationship.

I'm not counting the time I mistook friendship as romantic feelings and started 'dating' this guy, but then we both realised that it was just platonic and that we were in fact both gay. That was a funny story though.

I'm not sure I'll ever have an actual relationship. It's not looking terribly promising.

What do you think about the concept of 'love languages'?

^^

Maybe it's time to find #1 again.
There's still time for two more kids right?

I had a relationship of sorts with my best friend's boyfriend when we were 13.
It wasn't dating and we didn't really spend time alone except a couple times.
We were crazy about each other though.
Years later I contacted him and he didn't even remember me.

Sigh.

I just checked out my childhood fiancé’s FB page. He’s with someone new, so I missed my window of opportunity. God damnit! Years ago, his mother told me that he still has the Winnie-the-Pooh plushie I gave him.

He was named after Luke Skywalker. I called him Lukey. Geez, he was perfect.

I wasn’t just referring to relationships. Anyone you dated would count.

I’ve never heard of it.

I've heard of love languages. At first I laughed and thought it was rubbish or new age jargon. Now I realize there's kind of something to it. We all want / receive expressions of love in different ways whether it's verbal affirmations, physical touch, gifts, or whatever. I can't think of all the examples. It's important to know how your partner communicates love to you so you don't miss it, and it's equally important to know what kind works best for them to receive so THEY won't miss it.

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve had a crush on or pined for someone?

Probably a year or two. It's been a long time since I've had a crush. I've never gotten together with someone I had a crush on but it's probably for the best, as crushes have a kind of unreal quality, like an obsession that feeds on itself.

My mechanic - maybe about ten years, although he's both gay and married.

Some other guy - about six years.

Ken - kind of my whole life, but it was the kind where I didn't think about it until he was dying.



same q

I had a crush on one boy from 10ish to 18ish. We went on a few dates when I was 17-18, but the fantasy was very different from the reality.

When it comes to the people that I liked as an adult, that’s been a bit different and a bit more complicated, but it’s mostly been for a year or two…so far.

44 years...
And believe it or not... I'm not elaborating.

I had a huge crush on my BF3 before we started dating. We were really good friends but we were never both single at the same time so it turned into a steamy-crushy infatuation for both of us, until we finally started dating a few years into the friendship. Then it entirely imploded when I found out he wasn't who I thought he was. It was really difficult because I'd considered him the love of my life and he hurt me tremendously with his duplicity.

Nearly 30 years later we're still picking up the pieces of that trainwreck, and struggling to be friends.

I just sent him a card for his 70th birthday. I don't think I used the word "Love" with my name.

There's a girl I was at school with. We were friends and we lived a few houses apart from each other. We never arranged to walk to/from school together or anything but it often happened that we did. I liked her a lot but had no idea what to do with those feelings and I found out at some point after the fact that she liked me too.

I only knew her for about 4 years and that was 30 something years ago. But I've consistently thought about her for 30 years. There probably hasn't been a single month that has passed where she hasn't crossed my mind. Maybe not even a single week.

I think because these early crushes aren't realised they remain sort of perfect in our memories. The person I think about can't even be her any more, can it? It's more like some weird phantom I've been slowly constructing over decades. She's not alone either, there are a few of them.

She did actually contact me some years ago out of the blue through Facebook. She asked about my life and I told her and asked about her life but she never responded and I've not heard anything from her since.