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TwilightPrincess
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02 Jun 2024, 12:05 pm

This is meant to be like the other question threads - ask a question/answer a question. I was thinking that it might be useful to have a place to ask small questions that might not warrant their own thread. Feel free to respond to previous posts, chitchat, and/or not ask another question. Questions can be fun or serious and directed at the preferred gender (or not). Please avoid sexist or otherwise negative commentary.


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TwilightPrincess
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17 Jun 2024, 11:21 pm

Did/do you have trouble reading interest? I was thinking more about when I was younger although I suppose could be true at any age.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jun 2024, 11:32 pm

Yes.
I have no idea even now that I'm in a long-term relationship.
It got me into serious trouble in the past.
I thought people were interested when they were con artists.
There were likely others who were legit interested, but I had no clue.
I can't read eyes, faces, or body language.
When people are really kind to me I assume we're just good friends.

I rely on my partner telling me exactly how he feels.
Otherwise I'd be clueless.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jun 2024, 11:42 pm

Do you believe in the saying "Never go to bed angry" ?

I think it's kind of stupid, personally.
Most of the time if I'm wound up about something I feel better after sleeping.


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TwilightPrincess
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17 Jun 2024, 11:46 pm

I have trouble sleeping if I’m angry/upset, so I prefer to work the problem out.

Do you fall in love quickly or more gradually?


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Jun 2024, 11:52 pm

^

Regarding sleep, I prefer to deal with the problem too. It's just that if I'm overtired or I've already taken my sedative, I end up in a fugue state and don't even remember what I've said. He talks a lot more than I do so I'll either shut down from listening or get into a rabbit hole keeping up. Then in the morning I'm like "Damn! I blew it all out of proportion!" I guess it depends how late it is when the situation starts. It's not very often that I'm angry with him though. I get sad or insecure more than I get angry.

It took me about eight months to tell him I loved him. I guess that's considered slow. I felt it much sooner but wanted to be certain so I didn't mess with his head. I fall in "I'm crazy about you" pretty quickly though, historically. It's never turned out to be love until now.


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Jun 2024, 12:02 am

What would be the ideal way to spend your birthday with a partner?


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Jun 2024, 12:52 am

I don’t really know. Maybe watching movies and ordering pizza. I like going and doing things, but I’d prefer something more intimate and cozy, I think. My birthday is usually a cold and bleak day since my family doesn’t celebrate birthdays. No one will even acknowledge it outside of WP. Obviously, it’s not the biggest deal in the world, but a little warmth (and cuddling) would be nice.


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r00tb33r
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18 Jun 2024, 12:53 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Do you believe in the saying "Never go to bed angry" ?

I think it's kind of stupid, personally.
Most of the time if I'm wound up about something I feel better after sleeping.

I wouldn't fall asleep if I had something on my mind. If I don't just stay up I'll just be awake in bed all night, and that may be more annoying than being up.

The classmate I was trying to reconnect with in the fall of 2020 would not respond to my emails the same night because supposedly she would get angry and would sleep and be more gentle with me the next day. To be fair I did not say anything to merit anger, but she did eventually grow impatient and I was becoming more of an inconvenience for her. That's how I ended up here again in 2021, after a 4+ year break. Then things happened here, and that's all known history.



IsabellaLinton
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18 Jun 2024, 5:41 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I don’t really know. Maybe watching movies and ordering pizza. I like going and doing things, but I’d prefer something more intimate and cozy, I think. My birthday is usually a cold and bleak day since my family doesn’t celebrate birthdays. No one will even acknowledge it outside of WP. Obviously, it’s not the biggest deal in the world, but a little warmth (and cuddling) would be nice.


It always breaks my heart when you say you've never had a "happy birthday" greeting or a birthday gift in your life. It really puts things into perspective about how you were raised, or the identity issues you've experienced. I wish I could turn back the clock and fix that for you, even a little.

I'm curious if it would even occur to your parents when it's your birthday, but they just don't say anything? Do you think it crosses their mind? You will be 40 on Thursday. Do you think they've done the maths?

What about their own birthdays? Surely they must know their own every year and have it on their mind, but just ignore it?

I've known other JWs but it's something I just can't wrap my head around.

Sorry for the derail. In any event I hope you have a good one. I'd do a Go Fund Me for you to have some gifts, if I could. I'd even send you a pizza if I thought your parents wouldn't find out.


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Jun 2024, 9:21 am

I’m pretty sure they typically know it’s my birthday when it’s my birthday and when it’s theirs. It feels kind of awkward like there’s something floating in the air unsaid. There have been years, especially when I was a kid or teenager, when I didn’t realize it was my birthday because I didn’t know what the date was. Days tend to run together when you homeschool. Sometimes I’d try not to pay attention to dates too much because it was depressing. My birthday is on the 20th. I remember when it was the 23rd one year my parents saying, “You’re 14 now.” Weird. They celebrate weddings and anniversaries. It’s worse for my cousin who is 32 and will probably never get married, but that’s a different toxic topic related to religion that raises my blood pressure. There’s just so much waste and unnecessary unhappiness in the world on account of empty, human ideas.


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Jun 2024, 11:44 am

Thanks. ^

It still makes me sad though. I didn't know they celebrate anniversaries. I guess those are sacred because of the whole baby-making man / woman union thing?

What's so bad about birthdays? Is it that you aren't supposed to think of yourself or honour yourself?



New question:

What's up with in-laws? When do people normally meet them and how much of a role do they play in relationships? With my exh they were front and centre in everything we did. We even holidayed with them. For a time we even needed separate bedrooms after we were married, when we stayed with them. That's because there was a boys' room and girls' room for guests. I was really glad to divorce the whole lot of them.

My partner's parents are both dead but he has a brother here and one in BC. They're really close.


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Jun 2024, 11:55 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Thanks. ^

It still makes me sad though. I didn't know they celebrate anniversaries. I guess those are sacred because of the whole baby-making man / woman union thing?

What's so bad about birthdays? Is it that you aren't supposed to think of yourself or honour yourself?

They claim that birthdays have pagan origins. They do but so does just about everything else including most stuff related to marriage and wedding customs. Obviously, the Bible was largely informed/grew out of local myths and legends, but they would never acknowledge that.

They claim it’s putting too much emphasis on the self.

Most importantly to them is that John the Baptist was beheaded on King Herod’s birthday.

The only holiday they fully support celebrating is the memorial of Jesus death because of specific scriptures. I should say that while most of them celebrate wedding anniversaries they’re considered a “conscience matter.” I knew one family who didn’t celebrate them. They were SUPER fun to be around. (Not!) Birth control is also considered a “conscience matter.” Most families use it, but there’s the occasional weird family whose conscience tells them it’s wrong, whether they genuinely want kids or not.

Anyway, their stance on birthdays is silly nonsense. They infer a lot even though nowhere in the Bible does it say that you aren’t allowed to celebrate them.


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Jun 2024, 12:04 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
What's up with in-laws? When do people normally meet them and how much of a role do they play in relationships? With my exh they were front and centre in everything we did. We even holidayed with them. For a time we even needed separate bedrooms after we were married, when we stayed with them. That's because there was a boys' room and girls' room for guests. I was really glad to divorce the whole lot of them.

I would’ve been glad to divorce them too.

I barely saw my mother-in-law which is for the best. She’s not a decent person. We never fought or anything like that, but knowing the stuff that she’s done, it’s impossible to trust her, especially with my kid. Maybe I should just leave it at that. I think I met her during the first couple of weeks but have only seen her a few times altogether.


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Jun 2024, 12:20 pm

I'm sorry to hear that. Good riddance. Mine died by MAID last summer and didn't say goodbye to my kids. Someone notified my daughter via a message on her best friend's Instagram. They told her to tell my daughter lol. The person didn't even know her friend. Weird af ... My MIL disowned her adult daughter with Down Syndrome just like my ex disowned my daughter in court. People had a few screws loose.

She always wanted this at her funeral so I hope she got her wish.







https://youtu.be/kPIdRJlzERo?si=QW9OjYFTCi31pHp3


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TwilightPrincess
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18 Jun 2024, 12:47 pm

Sometimes I wonder how people can do the things that they do.

Off-topic, family craziness:

I wonder about that even regarding folks in my own family, not just the pedophiles and abusers. My cousin is disfellowshipped. When my grandmother (Nana) was dying, my cousin asked if she could go see her to say goodbye. Nana said: “No” which is a bit extreme even for a JW. Usually, they make exceptions when it comes to family crises like death. Nana and an aunt decided that they didn’t like me and my cousin when we were preschool-age. They favored the boys. (There are complex, batshit crazy reasons for that which I won’t go into here. We both grew up fully aware of this stuff. It’s something other members of the family talked about on occasion.) Nana deserted her own children when they were preteens, but I digress. So much trauma in my family. It’s understandable why they were susceptible to joining a cult. I think Nana liked the more unpleasant aspects of it because she was an unpleasant person. She enjoyed feeling justified when it came to shunning people sort of like how some religious extremists like to think about nonbelievers going to Hell.

How many people have you dated altogether?


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