Getting Better At Reading Body Language

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03 Jun 2024, 2:27 pm

Hey, I hope everyone is having a nice day.

Was wondering if I could get some advice.

I was diagnosed as semantic pragmatic when I was four and I think it falls under high functioning ASD.
I've never been very good with reading certain interactions with people. I've had to train myself and be trained in certain areas but there are still things I cannot read.

I think of it like being colourblind. I can see the different shades but not to precise colours.

I don't have the highest self-esteem so I don't know of that plays into me not believing I see it versus not seeing it.
Still exploring that within myself.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks that can help?



FleaOfTheChill
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04 Jun 2024, 5:39 pm

Tricks? No. Sorry. If you want to try to improve though, if possible, maybe look into interpersonal communications classes at a local/community university type setting. Not sure if they exist where you are, but my town has things like that available and those classes can teach a lot of useful skills. Even if they only teach you basics you already know, it might help make you more confident in your existing abilities.

Hopefully someone else will come along with more ideas for you. Wishing you luck in this.



utterly absurd
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04 Jun 2024, 7:19 pm

Honestly the only way I've been able to improve at it is practice. Years and years and years of practice.
I don't interact with people very often, but the more often you practice the faster you'll improve.
I know it's probably not what you were looking for but it's all I have.


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BTDT
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04 Jun 2024, 7:54 pm

I used to have that problem presenting as a guy. Now I can do it once it became practical to present as transgender.
As a guy I fell into the uncanny valley between the binary of male and female.

What I figured out is that normal people interact too quickly for Aspies to fake it.
It is like hitting a fastball in baseball. Blink and you missed your chance.



Last edited by BTDT on 04 Jun 2024, 9:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fenn
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04 Jun 2024, 8:00 pm

I read lots of books on the subject.


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IsabellaLinton
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05 Jun 2024, 12:48 am

I'm a voracious reader of classic literature.

They dissect body language down to the flick of an eyelash.
They can spend whole chapters describing an expression.
Then they tell you what the character is actually thinking.

It's the only way I knew duplicity even existed.


*imo it's way more helpful than TV.
TV makes you infer their thoughts by their actions and words.
Then you have to compare it to their body language.
It's far too complicated and too many steps for me.
Books tell you like it is.


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BTDT
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05 Jun 2024, 10:57 am

Flirting is a special case of body language with its own set of rules.



IsabellaLinton
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05 Jun 2024, 1:18 pm

I know nothing about that, since I don't even look at people to know if they're flirting.


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V6079
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05 Jun 2024, 2:10 pm

I don't think I can see flirting.
Some co-workers have said they've seen people flirting with me but I just can't see it.



BTDT
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06 Jun 2024, 9:46 am

Basic body language is sort of like a friend or foe interrogation used by the military.
I see you and acknowledge you, carry on. It may be over in an instant.

Flirting is checking to see if someone thinks your "hot" or "their type."
Sort of like fishing in which you try out different lures or baits to catch fish.

Sometimes everything aligns and a one on one face to face date occurs.
Or someone comes over to check someone out.



V6079
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07 Jun 2024, 1:44 pm

Thank you everyone.

I'll have to see and read on it all.



Edna3362
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07 Jun 2024, 9:39 pm

I think one of the prerequisites to be able to learn better or faster is to solve internal and external sensory interferences.

So figure your senses. Self accomodate that.
And whatever internal ails you have, get something to alleviate that.

Afterwards, you had to know how much attention you can sustain or regulate and your working memory -- before you can observe, learn certain cues and start practicing.


Else, you will have a harder time if you don't know what interferes or drains you.
You'll be too slow, too overwhelmed, too inattentive, too tunneled in, too distracted. No room to process even if you have prior experiences.


Afterwards the mindset around this involves being both egocentric and allocentric, simultaneously or switching between the two rapidly.

But for the sake of learning others, figure out how to be a bit allocentric. Get out of your head so to speak.
Or better yet -- get rid of whatever hung ups you have making your head prioritizes over different things so you'll be less distracted.



I have different priorities in socializing.
I don't read or watch about it, only that I just start local no matter how much my head fancies itself it's the west -- I'm not in the west.

I'm mainly a naturally passive actor (because of my asocial nature) unless the situation demands certain urgency to initiate, or if I'm bored enough to be.

I can see flirting. I just don't care. :lol: And I let anyone know that I will say no.

Ultimately, I'm an autonomous agent who can choose when and when not to play along with social creatures. :lol:



I would not recommend my own ways on how I started to figure the processes and how I managed to learn body language.
... Unless jaywalking is not illegal and not deadly from where you came from. :lol:

Really, I was learning from a very simple way of learning social cues naturally, knowing how many senses I need, along with the subtleties and the reaction time needed to predict or know the message, and very much not get myself killed or cause an accident, and etc.

While being overwhelmed, fatigued, almost partially shutting down, etc.
It was so simple enough, that it's actually small enough to have a room for it in a middle of all the internal and external storms -- save for a full-blown meltdown where self-preservation and self control is thrown out of the window. :o


Then compared that type of human interaction to semi-long term, closer in proximity, more complex mind reading, more parts; face, hands, arms, etc.. , open-ended and multiple involvement interactions that 'mattered more', and layers and layers of contexts --

Than near split second interaction that may only involved movement and vehicle sounds with a clear end goal and possibly not seeing some driver's face and their vehicle ever again.

:lol: I don't know the substitute for that, however, other than possibly being a driver...
And use that as some sort to base to work one's way up to more complex interactions.


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Fenn
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08 Jun 2024, 5:05 pm

Google:

Dating body language book isbn

Job body language book isbn

Body language secrets book isbn

Etc

Also try youtube


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V6079
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09 Jun 2024, 12:20 pm

Thank you all again.

I'll begin with what you all of told me :D .