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Jamesy
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02 Jul 2024, 5:42 pm

My dad cares about me a lot but my own mother (she even admitted it) does not care for me as much as my father.

From experience what are some reasons why my mother does not care as much as my dad?



funeralxempire
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02 Jul 2024, 5:45 pm

Jamesy wrote:
From experience what are some reasons why my mother does not care as much as my dad?


None of us have experience with your mom; we've never met her and can offer zero insight into her thinking.


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02 Jul 2024, 6:07 pm

Jamesy wrote:
From experience what are some reasons why my mother does not care as much as my dad?
You have to ask her.

Be prepared for answers you don't like . . . and that possibly hurt . . . deeply.


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03 Jul 2024, 4:20 am

It can be as simple as that your father is a more caring type of person, more emphatic. But you really should ask her about how she's thinking.


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bee33
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03 Jul 2024, 4:45 am

Admitted to it in what way? Was it in a moment of anger or frustration? Maybe she does care?



Texasmoneyman300
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03 Jul 2024, 5:35 am

Jamesy wrote:
My dad cares about me a lot but my own mother (she even admitted it) does not care for me as much as my father.

From experience what are some reasons why my mother does not care as much as my dad?

My own mother acts the same way to me a lot.She has repeatedly told me that she would of kicked me out a long time ago if it was not for my dad.My own mother never passes up a chance to criticize me so you are not the only one.



DuckHairback
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04 Jul 2024, 4:58 am

Humans are complicated creatures Jamesy. We're often not even very good at understanding our own feelings and behaviours. Many of us aren't very honest with ourselves about our reasons for feeling/doing things.

Some parents just aren't wired for showing their affection for their children. It's doubtful she really doesn't care about you, biological impulses are strong, it's just that sometimes psychology gets in the way.

Is she autistic by the way? That can confuse things. To state to you baldly that she doesn't care for you as much as your father does makes her sound like someone who might be on the spectrum and not fully aware of what such brutal honesty might mean to another person.

Anyway, I'm sorry your mum doesn't show you affection, that sucks.

I grew up with a dad who made his dislike for me clear and I remember my mum also telling me in a very matter of fact way that my dad didn't like me much.

These are not good things to tell a child. All children deserve better than that.


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10 Jul 2024, 6:42 am

my mother was autistic although I did not get my own diagnosis or understand that bout her until long after she was gone. She hated me and I think it was because my struggles reminded her of her own and she was determined to make me be not autistic. Of course when she failed to punish my autism out of me, she thought I was being willful and lazy, useless, stupid, and just a bad person. She hated me because my presence made her feel like a failure as a mother.
There were other more perfect children in the family she could lavish her affection and attention on. Hindsight at age 68/now 72, when I got my own autism diagnosis, I could clearly see she had been autistic all those years too. It explained a lot, but it doesn't help all the hurt from those loveless years growing up in that family.
I do understand. You are not alone. <3


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babybird
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14 Jul 2024, 3:22 am

Sorry to hear this Jamesy

How do you feel about your mother


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CockneyRebel
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30 Jul 2024, 8:40 am

Why don't you ask your mum and see?


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