If I have a nice house, will I get more social acceptance?
Maybe where you are, but not here.
My exh couldn't qualify for a mortgage when I bought my house.
I knew lots of people who couldn't, even if they had good credit.
Do what you want if you're able.
Just note, several of us already said it wouldn't be impressive.
It certainly won't make you seem "NT" if that's your main goal.
Lots of autistics own houses.
As for dating, no offence but I think you seem like a snob.
I wouldn't be interested in someone who used the word "class".
I'd be even less impressed if he tried to buy me with money.
I might as well be a sex worker at that point.
If you do build in the future:
Don't put less than 50% down.
If the market crashes and resale drops you'll lose your investment.
Expect it to cost 2-3x more than you're told, and take years longer.
By then your future partner might decide she doesn't like the place.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
What do you mean by "there's mostly one sort of women ..." ?
Do you mean most women are that sort?
Do you mean there's only one small subset?
Whose wealth? - Their own, their partner's, or their combined wealth?
Women that emphasize wealth to that extent tend to be gold diggers. Most women consider a lot of other things rather than just wealth. And wealth doesn't necessarily make up for other shortcomings, unless it's a lot of wealth and the only thing that woman in particular is interested in is money.
This isn't the first thread by the OP, it's pretty clear that the sort of woman the course of action that he's emphasizing would be a trophy wife, and that takes a lot of money if you're not putting any effort into things that most women seem to actually go for.
OK thanks for clarifying. I agree with you. I guess there are trophy wives out there just like there are trophy husbands but it all sounds very shallow and unsatisfying imo, plus like I said before what happens to these trophies when / if they break up? Is OP prepared to give her half of the home as an asset? Who cleans this house while he's out driving for UPS? Is the expectation that she'll make like Cinderella and scrub the floors while he's at work, in exchange for having a home? Does he expect her to work too, in which case is he prepared to do half the housework?
I just don't get it. People who value money, or value other people who value money, don't make sense to me.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
Regarding mortgage qualification: I forgot to say that I applied to adopt a kitten from a Rescue in the last week. It was a 13-page formal credit application which asked among other things my income (with tax returns to prove it), my employer, the length of time I worked there, whether I own or rent my house and for how long, my other monthly expenses like car payments, the amount I'd be willing to spend per year at the vet (they expect in the thousands), and what will happen to the cat when I die. They wanted vet references but also employer references. Then I had a 30-minute verbal interview where they asked more about my work history to show if I was reliable and responsible by holding down one job for a long time. In my case I had one employer for 33 years but they still wanted details.
That's just to get my name on a list for a kitten.
By the way I didn't even get it yet. I passed those two steps but there's still a third step before approval.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,494
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
If you pretend to be something you're not, such as a rich NT, it will only burn you out and make you feel even worse.
Also thinking having money and a nice house will attract woman is misogynistic and makes me fearful that you may even harm women due to your beliefs.
But I don't know why I'm bothering to say anything, you clearly haven't listened because I don't tell you what you want to hear. I'm not a politician, so I will tell people the truth whether they like it or not.
Who in society will know you own a house, anyway?
Will you walk around telling people?
to be fair we don' know the OP's social situation. Perhaps in his social circle and/or list of acquaintances through friendship group/s and/or work he might be seen more favourably if he owns a house. As a 25 year old single person it is a big deal if you can host parties and have a place friends can crash over.
The point of the question , I feel , the OP is directly connecting home ownership to social Acceptance ....and it is a fact , that he is asking this question on a Autistic/ Asperger's support site . And generally a person, might judge or make an assumption that often the question About social integrations . Seems to be a consistent factor in many of these forums.
So If Social Integration is a issue here, (by virtue of the very question proposed here. ) Apparently trying to equate home
owning will create advantage for generating social skills that might be necessary to intially attract , supposed Friends/ social acceptance .
So you might even have a friend that needs to crash somewhere. ( possibly imposing themselves on someone( the OP) with little social skills ....) ( without exigent circumstances, like a emergency)Might appear to an outside observer , that the one with few to no social skills . To be taken advantage of ! And then if this person with little assets, such as a home or? whatever . Then the person with fewer , may just introduce the OP , as being a " Easy Mark/ target"
And those will be the OPs new friends . Regardless of how honorable the OPs intentions might be.
One might use serious discernment of any new person in their lives as a """"Aspie. """" . before letting anyone even know he is a homeowner..And having been that very naive person in my earlier days. I use extreme caution in granting friendship value to anyone new in my life. But have run into a few that because those friends over a period of time ,deserved the title of friend.
That I might allow to consider , if their friends are of a value to consider as my own.
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Yeah, hosting a bunch of couch-surfers doesn't sound fun or safe.
The only social acceptance would be that the OP risks being used.
Most women wouldn't want to date someone who acts like a frat boy.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
you have to think about what person you are trying to impress.
on planet earth, we certainly don't lack for diversity.
Somewhere in India or Africa there are ten thousand tribes.
Endless number of social groups of all stripes.
Get out, and make it a point to meet diverse people, and you will learn how to attract different type of people.
There are endless varieties of neurotypicals, and endless varieties of people with autism.
There's also the consideration of land taxes which are outrageous.
Lots of people lose their homes just because they can't pay the taxes.
His job could be lost or he could be transferred elsewhere, too.
Sorry OP, I'm not trying to be a downer or go off-topic.
Home ownership just isn't as rosy or simple as people think it will be.
Interest rates are climbing as well.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
The only social acceptance would be that the OP risks being used.
Most women wouldn't want to date someone who acts like a frat boy.
Casts Aspersions on such an Aspie , who has better and simplier ways of Socially explaning things
Thank you sincerely Isabella , Sometimes when trying to build a image , in writing ,my vocabulary goes into overdrive
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
There are many worse things you can do than buying a nice house!
If you build one you can customize it to your needs!
You may be able to make a soundproof room!
That would be perfect for pets and Aspies who freak out during Fourth of July Fireworks celebrations!
If you like astronomy you may be able to design a special viewing area to see the stars!
Someone who likes to buy clothes can make a huge walk in closet!
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