Being An Adult: What does it mean to you

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I keep asking myself this question lately (i think I'm going through a phase or something) and I'm forming an answer in my own head but I was wondering what it means to other people

In my head, I became an adult the day I left home and became responsible for my own food and shelter. It's a big shift, going from being a dependent to being independent. Some people soften that blow by having their parents help them out a bit with rent and stuff, and just generally having their parents in their lives quite a lot in their late teens/early 20s but I went for a pretty hard break. One day I was a kid, the next an adult. So that was it for me, just that change to suddenly being responsible for my self.

The only comparable change I can think of since then is becoming responsible for a child. That's like the next level up.

I don't really feel any different from when I was a teenager, or a kid even from what I remember. I don't feel any more 'adult' in any other way.

I don't know how to answer this question. I'm 44 now, I moved out of my parents' house at 25, which honestly was a natural transition. In fact, I felt stifled by living with my parents in my 20s.

For me, I guess it means freedom to an extent. Meaning, the days are gone from dealing with all The BS in school and family forcing me into things like sports and social activities, I guess to " cure me" . As an adult I can say no to a lot of stuff or if I don't want to do something, I don't do it.

If I were given the chance to do my late 20s, 30s over, I might jump at it but growing up? no way in hell.

I've literally only just (in the last few weeks) realised that I'm an adult

It's messing with my head a bit but I've been doing the adult stuff forever as in taking care of myself etc etc but the feeling of the responsibility for it all just didn't hit me before

I'm sorting if understanding it all for the first time in my life. I like it it feels good, like I can literally do what ever I like as long as I earn the money to do it

I don't know why the penny has never dropped before

I will let you know when I find out.

To me it means dealing with a lot of ableism. Most people assume if we're over a certain age we're capable of doing adult things without any significant trouble or burnout. It's simply not the case and it seems that most of us on WP would agree we still feel like insecure children on the inside regardless of the expectations imposed by society. Maybe it's the same for NT adults too. I don't really know, but either way I'm just tired of ableism and prejudice against people who are over 18.

I see it happening for my kids too. Society expects them to be a certain way or achieve certain things by their age and some people snub their noses at us when we can't.

Owning a home, having a car and having kids makes it 10x worse for me because many people don't even think someone can be autistic / disabled or developmentally delayed when they have achieved those social "benchmarks". They expect too much, but likewise they also expect too little when we're successful. At those times they talk down to us like we shouldn't be able to function. It's a double-edged sword.

TLDR: Being an adult means that I've been alive longer than people who aren't adults. That's about it.

Life, to me, feels like a choose your own adventure game. One that starts out with clearly defined rules, expectations and quests.

As you progress through the game, the quests become more ambiguous and highly dependent on both the choices you make as well as the hand you are dealt.

Instead of being one big quest that you have to work towards, you have a bunch of side quests and you're not sure which ones are going to lead you to where you want to go. You may have milestones and goals but you're not really sure what steps you should take to get there or if you've even set out on the right path.

There are still a lot of expectations but they can be conflicting. A lot of people think that you should be playing one way and that the way they play the game is the only correct way of doing so.

There's more freedom but at the expense of always questioning if you're on the right track. I think that I'm at a point in my life where I am very aware of the gap between the life that I want to live VS the life that I am living.

Where there's a will there's a way, but finding that will isn't always easy.

The burden of having to cope and stand on my own two feet, and not being able to and struggling.

To me, it is a broad subjective age category. When I hit my 20's I thought of myself as an adult. But this thread is really about the responsibilities and ability to handle things expected of an adult.

In some ways, I was an "adult" much earlier than expected. In many ways, even at age 66, I have not done things expected of "adults". Despite that, I still think of myself as an older adult.

Because of Biden dementia is a topic now. Dementia is the lessening of the ability to do things expected of adults. In its later stages, patients need care similar to that of very young children. Few people do not call these people adults.

For me it's being frustrated with myself because I've never had an actual full-time job, only playing music locally. I'm 38 and I'm still on SSI.

Being an adult to me means being capable enough to make important life decisions. Which i am not sure i am capable, but i think everyone struggles with that too.

Also: being able to see yourself from your own perspective, and not your parents'. This i can do thankfully.

My therapist recently said everyone's parents traumatize them in their own way. Dealing with this trauma and breaking the chain on your own means maturity to me

The ability to be responsible under whatever duty or commitment and exercise their rights to choose under said duty or right.

Anyone can take responsibility or have responsibility for things.
But not everyone is responsible or is able to be reliably responsible.

And while everyone can be reliably responsible...
Not everyone can set their boundaries right and well that it doesn't exploit them.

Anyone can do their boundaries right with time.
But not everyone can balance relationships with it, nor able to negotiate said boundaries and rights.

And sure, there comes a time a person has all the power to assert their boundaries, rights and choices and all...
But how does one assure that this wouldn't be abused, exploited or impede another one's rights and choices?


Being an adult means you're fair play.

But anyone can be fair play.
Yet not everyone can defend themselves, cope with the whole status, have a say over anything...

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