Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps

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Graves Knight
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04 Aug 2024, 2:55 am

cyberdad wrote:
Rhapsody wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Yes your explanation makes sense Rhapsody, but do subscribers now what they are signing up for? or is it buyer beware? I personally would not have the patience to read the terms and conditions and how do users (particularly female) get protected from violent individuals who from what I read able to get away with assaulting or taking without consent
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/20 ... predators/

Well...that's a horrifying story. New fear unlocked.

I never bothered to try the paid versions of any apps, so I can't speak to getting what you pay for. But I can speak about protections for female users, seeing as I was one. The protections on the apps I tried were all pretty minimal. The most powerful tool in the arsenal is unmatching with people. This gives you the ability to stop contact with a person, and you can report them if they did anything against the rules. So, for example, I unmatched with Mr. OnlyFans and reported him. I have no way of knowing if anything came of that though.

The majority of the "safety features" in apps are little popup warnings that remind you not to do various things. Like, for example, apps tell you not to trade email, socials, or phone numbers with users. It's very hard to tell if this is a bid to keep people safe like they claim, as the warning notes they have no authority to assist you if you use something other than their chat function, or if it is another excuse to keep you using their system for monetization purposes. I was also given a popup when I shared the address of a park warning me not to share my location. Which is solid advice. I dunno if men get these too, but often when I'd sign up I'd get a mini "safety course" warning me to make sure friends/family always knew where I was when I was on dates, to only meet in public places, to avoid consuming too much alcohol. It's all basic safety stuff that's drilled into women. Some apps also have the option to "verify" profiles through various means and those are generally safer because they're less likely to be bots or catfish.

One scary thing I remember from my adventure on the dating sites was that guys can find you on multiple platforms if you use more than one. I had a conversation with this guy on one of the sites, then he messaged me "found you!" on another site. I trusted this guy because he was also autistic and he gave me some tips on my dating profile because he was concerned I'd attract predators, but if it had been someone I'd had negative interactions with it probably would have been pretty scary. On the whole I was insanely lucky that I didn't run into anyone particularly terrible, got no unsolicited genital pictures, and never felt in any danger.


Stay safe, my daughter isn't allowed to use them.


Yes, I've also had profiles that lied about their age too.


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cyberdad
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04 Aug 2024, 3:10 am

Graves Knight wrote:
Yes, I've also had profiles that lied about their age too.


From what I understand everyone catfishes to some level. there should be some type of catfish scale that follows users whatever app they login. to protect the public.



nick007
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04 Aug 2024, 7:33 am

Rhapsody wrote:
Dating apps are, essentially, just a vehicle to connect people. What people want from the connection varies widely, and is probably one of the major issues with dating apps to begin with: it's hard to know if you're on the same page as the people you match with. They can be used for hookups, or to find somebody to marry, or anything in between. There are also scammers and bots and bad actors who want your money. I once got a guy who wanted me to follow his OnlyFans as the reason he matched with me :skull:
It may help sometimes to state the type of relationship your seeking in your profiles. However people can still lie about that like guys sometimes claim they are seeking a serious relationship when they are really just wanting to get get laid. It may also help to state the type of person you are & the type of person your seeking. However it's important to not have a laundry list of things. I remember reading various profiles that listed a bunch of really high requirements the potential partner had to meet & thinking that any guy who actually meets that would have women throwing themselves at him & the women posting those lists would probably only have a chance if they are extremely hot &/or famous. It's good the women were honest & upfront so guys wouldn't waste their time trying to initiate something but those women seriously need to reevaluate their standards if they really want a relationship instead of staying single. Those are the type of people who's fault it is if they have not found the one. It's also important to not just post some various hot pictures while mentioning barely anything about yourself; this may be more important for guys than women.

Lots of people have told me my profiles were very well written. it may seem surprising considering my various posts but I put lots of effort into it & considered the types of details that were mentioned from various profiles I've read & the different sites I've used. Some categories or questions on some sites were very irrelevant for me like "What's the last five books you read" or "Where's your favorite place to go while on vacation & why". I kind of turned those questions into other things like talking about dyslexia or why I'm a homebody. Lots also thought my standards were reasonable if not too low. My problems getting dates were more due to being disabled as well as the area I lived being somewhat rural & very conservative with traditional gender roles.


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Graves Knight
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05 Aug 2024, 2:04 am

Online dating in general was something that was supposed to make dating easier. But it made it far more complicated. All the messages above explaining the fallbacks of it is the reason I don't use them frequently anymore. On the guys end of online dating, there's little to no matches. So when guys do get a match, it's like a job interview you can't screw up.

Meaning on the woman's end this could (maybe) explain the creepy guys that want to bluntly give their intentions. (Nudes, dirty talk, est..) Then comes the desperation (the guys that message you multiple times without a single reply.) Other classes include Simps, (the guys that will buy your bath water for 500 bucks) stalkers, and potential assaulters.

To sum it all up, Men lose due to a lack of options. Women lose due to having too many options all the things listed above to watch out for. How'd I do?


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