Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Was this a power play?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

__Elijahahahaho
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 191
Location: GERMANY

05 Aug 2024, 6:49 am

I hung out with some cool people who invited me to their
picnic.
In general I had positive interactions with them, and it
was kind that they included me.
There was a couple there, the woman was upset about something
and went away to talk with her boyfriend and then came back
At the end when I left she asked for my socials.

Then her boyfriend quickly stepped in and said I can find him
through his work and connect with the girl and group that way.

I can't help but feel he was dominating his girlfriend,
by limiting who she connected with, and also seeking to control
my access.

Is there a counter to this? I feel like if I pushed the issue to connect
it would have been aggressive.

They were people I just met anyways..



ColdFeetareCold
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2024
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 100

05 Aug 2024, 7:47 pm

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I hung out with some cool people who invited me to their
picnic.
In general I had positive interactions with them, and it
was kind that they included me.
There was a couple there, the woman was upset about something
and went away to talk with her boyfriend and then came back
At the end when I left she asked for my socials.

Then her boyfriend quickly stepped in and said I can find him
through his work and connect with the girl and group that way.

I can't help but feel he was dominating his girlfriend,
by limiting who she connected with, and also seeking to control
my access.

Is there a counter to this? I feel like if I pushed the issue to connect
it would have been aggressive.

They were people I just met anyways..


He sounds like a weirdo, unless he thought that you're the weirdo and was just trying to politely avoid having his girlfriend give you her information... But I'm going to assume it's the former. I saw something like this happen with a couple once and found it perturbing. I don't think there's anything you can do if you don't know them, beyond making a joke of it to dispel tension.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,215

14 Aug 2024, 3:47 pm

He may have been threatened by the fact that you were another male who would possibly steal her from him He also sounds like he's controlling too.



Latimeria
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 37

15 Aug 2024, 8:29 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
He may have been threatened by the fact that you were another male who would possibly steal her from him He also sounds like he's controlling too.


I would have interpreted it the bolded way as well. There could be some reason for him to do this that we don't know or some contextual reason for him to feel threatened beyond being controlling. Being a controlling boyfriend would nonetheless be my top theory.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,572
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

15 Aug 2024, 10:07 pm

That guy seems very jealous to me. It seems as though he wants his girl all to himself.


_________________
The Family Enigma


__Elijahahahaho
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 191
Location: GERMANY

17 Aug 2024, 5:57 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
He may have been threatened by the fact that you were another male who would possibly steal her from him He also sounds like he's controlling too.


Yeah, I suspect that was part of it. We looked quite similar, and the other friends seemed to be instructing him to be more sympathetic to his girlfriend, this suggested there were some problems. Maybe she was asking for my socials as a way to attack him, but she seemed somewhat naive and interested in me because I was foreign.