Is it wrong to ask someone to stop doing something hurts me?

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So for context, I am (undiagnosed but in the process) low-support needs autistic. I also have sever misophonia which may or may not be related to my autism. To sum it up, I would rather shove an ice-pick in my ears and rip out my hair than hear someone whistle.

So in choir today we were just hanging out, looking through potential music, and a girl started whistling. I plugged my ears and kinda shut down while my friend Zee asked her to stop. I didn't hear her as my ears were plugged but she allegedly rolled her eyes and was rude about it.

Well a few minutes later she started again, (allegedly according to Zee) looking directly in our direction. I asked "hey whoever's whistling can you please stop" which I thought was polite.

she said "do we have a problem????" all angry and crap and my partner was like "no, he has sensory issues"

she pretty much gossiped about us the whole class, which I don't really mind. Apparently she thinks I have a vendetta against her.

So....is it wrong for me to ask her to stop? My earbuds are broken and I couldn't reach my ear defenders.I've finally been getting better about standing up for myself which has been very hard for me so idk.

No, it's not wrong.

That said, it's easy for people who don't comprehend why it's such a big deal to assume you're targeting them over nothing and look for other, more easily understood motives.

I'm also not a huge fan of whistling.

No, it is not wrong and congrats on standing up for yourself.

Being very sensitive to things including certain noises is an autistic trait.

It is not wrong to say this is not personal, I am very sensitive to certain noises including whistling.

Having been informed they were hurting you in front of witnesses, continued whistling is common assault.
Ask for a full name for the subpoena and I bet they'll stop.

flint

no, it is not "wrong" to ask someone to stop whistling.

however, anyone could ask anyone to do anything, and it is not "wrong".

the whistling girl has "freedom of speech" and that includes whistling. it is not illegal, immoral, or "wrong" for the girl to be whistling.

anything could "hurt" anyone. it is possible that when you "asked" her to stop whistling, that "hurt" her.

everything either: helps, hurts, both, or neither. not all impacts: immediate, visible, physical, or obvious.

you do not have a legal "right" to physically force her to stop whistling, you do not have a moral "right" to make her stop whistling.

No, it is not wrong.

But good luck getting them to comply.

While I do agree with the technicalities of what you're saying, the person obviously was a part of this choir group in some way and therefore, couldn't just leave. He said that he needed the whistling to stop in as polite a manner as he could think to during his time if destress. The fact that the whistler continued, after being asked to stop is just plain rude and I'm sorry the OP had to go through that.

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Yes I also think it was rude for the whistler to keep whistling even after being asked to stop.

However frequently on the bus or in the public litterbox, someone has the nerve to play loud music and I am afraid that if I ask them to turn it off they will have the nerve to physically injure my worthless corpse. Sometimes I get a headache but I am afraid to approach them. Some customers have psychiatric diagnoses, guns, short fuses, or big egos. Some have felony convictions.

Getting a headache from loud music is worse than not getting a headache. However getting a headache from loud music is better than having to deal with customers that act like provoked, self righteous , wild animals.

If someone is whistling and you as them to stop, the whistling either:

Increases
Stays the same
Decreases

There are only three outcomes and only one favorable outcome

Some precious lil "people" are just rude. They have doing their "best" and they are being "true" to themselves. If what they are doing is legal (whistling is legal), there is nobody to tattle to. If what they are doing is illegal (off leash dogs), the cops often do not do anything about it

I understand she has the right to, and I understand that she did not know initially. The issue arose when she deliberately did it again, just to hurt me.

A lot of people,especially highschoolers, take joy out of torturing autistic people and I don't understand why. If it is immoral to physically hurt someone, why is it not in the same realm of immorality to hurt them audibly or mentally?

Whistling isn't just annoying to me, it hurts. It has gotten to the point that I have ripped out chunks of hair among other things just to distract from the noise.

She has the right to whistle, sure, but that doesn't mean that she should if it is out of malice.

I once had to ask someone to stop cracking their knuckles. He stopped, but seemed to think to think I was weird for hating it so much it's almost sickening. But most people hate the sound of cracking knuckles. I'm sure it ranks up there with squeaky chalk and scraping a fork across a metal pan.

But no, I don't think it's wrong to calmly and politely ask someone to stop making a sound that gives you pain.