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PineappleLobster
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22 Aug 2024, 9:18 pm

I’m unschooled (learning what i want, when i want. There’s not schedule or anything really), and I’ve been thinking lately about high school.

I want to go to high school because:
I want to experience “normal” teenager social life. (Within safe grounds, ofc)
I want to have friends that actually live in my town/city…
Oh man i can’t think of more reasons.. crud

I wouldn’t want to go to high school because:
Potential bullying in the form of: ableism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
Definite burnout if i do full days instead of half days
Anxiety
Anxiety
Anxiety…


I really want to experience the kind of socializing i feel i might miss out on. I’ve already exceeded the age bracket for sleepaway camps, which i never went to, but all my sisters and dad went to. They sounded fun, but my anxiety would always keep me away.

I don’t want to miss another experience. I know high school can be absolutely terrible for a lot of people, but it can also be niceish for others. I’ve been unschooled forever, only ever having gone to preschool.

My indecision is a menace sometimes, and this is one of those times.
Any thoughts on the matter?


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TwilightPrincess
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22 Aug 2024, 9:32 pm

I want to be cautious in what I say because I think that what’s right for one person might not be right for another. If I could do things over again, I would’ve went to high school. (I homeschooled and did some unschooling as well.) The socialization with peers and other adults would’ve been beneficial for me overall, and I would’ve had more opportunities as well.

I wonder if you could start high school and, if you decide you don’t like it, you could withdraw and switch back to unschooling.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 22 Aug 2024, 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Carbonhalo
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22 Aug 2024, 9:35 pm

Anyone over 30 will recognise high school teenagers as randomly psychotic, hormonally fuelled little shitbags. Many would delight in making your life miserable. Socially, you'd need to hit the ground running to gain a buffer against bullies. If you can gain that buffer then HS can provide essential experience in dealing with the unthinking.
Whichever way you go, we're with you.



bee33
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22 Aug 2024, 9:44 pm

I think high school is one of those fundamental experiences that you might regret not having taken part in. But it's true that it can also be a bad experience. I would think that you can try it and then drop out if it's not for you.



PineappleLobster
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23 Aug 2024, 12:15 am

I am also in 12th grade (November birthday), which might be kind of a weird time to start school…
My skipped-a-grade pride doesn’t really want to repeat a year, but i guess i wouldn’t have to, if i didn’t want or have to.

My noggin is only thinking about maybe needing to repeat a year bc of what time of year it is, graduation, and some lack of knowledge (maths and history) due to being unschooled with ADHD


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bee33
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23 Aug 2024, 12:57 am

PineappleLobster wrote:
I am also in 12th grade (November birthday), which might be kind of a weird time to start school…
My skipped-a-grade pride doesn’t really want to repeat a year, but i guess i wouldn’t have to, if i didn’t want or have to.

My noggin is only thinking about maybe needing to repeat a year bc of what time of year it is, graduation, and some lack of knowledge (maths and history) due to being unschooled with ADHD
If school is an opportunity to learn about some things you might have missed that seems like another reason to go. I'm not sure if you want to repeat a grade but again it might be worth it if it's an opportunity to learn and catch up.



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23 Aug 2024, 4:07 pm

I wouldn't go to high school just for the social aspect. The "high school experience" is pretty overrated imo and it's hard to find the right friends. I went into high school after two years locked in my house during covid and my social skills were f**ked, and most people were really nice but I never made any friends.
College has been a much better environment for me to meet friends, have fun, and also learn. It's also much more learning on my own schedule which is WAY better for my adhd -- I honestly have no idea how I made it through 13 years of being told exactly what to do every second of the day.
Just my experience, but do what's right for you.


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DuckHairback
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23 Aug 2024, 4:41 pm

I think the fact you're thinking about it means you should probably give it a try.

Personally, I hated most aspects of school but I think I still would go, if given the choice. I didn't know at the time (because I'd never experienced anything else) but the routine was good for me. I fell apart in higher education which was less structured.

I also think there's probably some value in having shared culture. Our brains isolate us from people enough as it is, also not having that shared experience of high school, being raised in a bubble, probably adds to that feeling of otherness.

Obviously, do what's right for you. Yes, teenagers can be awful, yes there are bullies out there who can make your experience worse but if you can build a decent support network around you (I don't know what is available to you at US schools) I think it's possible to have a positive experience in school.


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PineappleLobster
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28 Aug 2024, 6:21 pm

I’ve asked my parents, and they’re on board.
I haven’t yet gone to the school to enroll and such because busy parents, but i am still very excited


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TwilightPrincess
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28 Aug 2024, 6:37 pm

Awesome! I hope you enjoy the experience!


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PineappleLobster
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04 Sep 2024, 12:25 pm

The desire for high school has now diminished. Don’t really wanna go anymore.

What the heck-


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Bestiola
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04 Sep 2024, 3:02 pm

Carbonhalo wrote:
Anyone over 30 will recognise high school teenagers as randomly psychotic, hormonally fuelled little shitbags. Many would delight in making your life miserable. Socially, you'd need to hit the ground running to gain a buffer against bullies. If you can gain that buffer then HS can provide essential experience in dealing with the unthinking.
Whichever way you go, we're with you.


This! I'd rather have a daily encounter with a proctologist for the rest of my life than ever be in high school again, but that's me.

Good luck with whatever you decide.



IsabellaLinton
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04 Sep 2024, 4:21 pm

I won't step foot in a public school again for safety reasons, and nor will my future grandchild.
Maybe I'll join Bestiola at the proctologist instead.

As for you though, do what feels right.
You can always change your mind.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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10 Sep 2024, 4:58 am

My son tried going to a public high school and was miserable, not because of the other kids but because he just couldn't deal with the rigid environment and inflexible expectations. He's now in an "experimental" private school and much happier.


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bee33
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10 Sep 2024, 5:11 am

PineappleLobster wrote:
The desire for high school has now diminished. Don’t really wanna go anymore.

What the heck-

That's quite a turnaround. Why do you think you feel that way?



PineappleLobster
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17 Sep 2024, 3:16 pm

bee33 wrote:
PineappleLobster wrote:
The desire for high school has now diminished. Don’t really wanna go anymore.

What the heck-

That's quite a turnaround. Why do you think you feel that way?

No idea


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