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Bestiola
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26 Aug 2024, 5:22 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:
Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?



Yes in the sense that it might give predatory NTs just another excuse to bully or patronise me. So I won't disclose anything, since from my experience, anything that can will be used against you, if an opportunity arises.



SkinnyElephant
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26 Aug 2024, 8:33 am

Bestiola wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?



Yes in the sense that it might give predatory NTs just another excuse to bully or patronise me. So I won't disclose anything, since from my experience, anything that can will be used against you, if an opportunity arises.


Well-said when you say anything that can be used against you will be used against you.

Not just ASD; anything. For example, I recently had to delete my account on a different online community because a user leaked some personal information I had shared on DM.



Bestiola
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26 Aug 2024, 9:06 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:
Bestiola wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?



Yes in the sense that it might give predatory NTs just another excuse to bully or patronise me. So I won't disclose anything, since from my experience, anything that can will be used against you, if an opportunity arises.


Well-said when you say anything that can be used against you will be used against you.

Not just ASD; anything. For example, I recently had to delete my account on a different online community because a user leaked some personal information I had shared on DM.


Exactly, any personal data can be misused.



LittleBeach
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26 Aug 2024, 10:39 am

I feel a bit ashamed. I feel deep down that people would just think I’m weak and making excuses for things if I told them.



SkinnyElephant
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26 Aug 2024, 11:58 am

Bestiola wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:

Well-said when you say anything that can be used against you will be used against you.

Not just ASD; anything. For example, I recently had to delete my account on a different online community because a user leaked some personal information I had shared on DM.


Exactly, any personal data can be misused.


Without getting into the whole story, a user on that other online community built a trustworthy persona with me on DM. She ended up getting me to send her some selfies, my first name (luckily a common name), as well as the state I live in.

Then 2 weekends ago, she was asking me what I do for work. That was a red flag (luckily I didn't tell her what I do for work).

Come to find out, her and some guy on that online community were in cahoots to try to get me fired (I shared some strong political opinions on there that could get one fired). Since the guy knew there was no way he could gain my trust, he used her to gain my trust. She then gave him all the intel she got from me.

And here's the real kicker: She knows I'm on the spectrum. She took advantage of my low EQ (even though a lot of us on the spectrum, myself included, are high IQ, we tend to be low EQ).

Anyone taking advantage of ASD folk is a piece of %^&%



Bestiola
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26 Aug 2024, 1:12 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
Bestiola wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:

Well-said when you say anything that can be used against you will be used against you.

Not just ASD; anything. For example, I recently had to delete my account on a different online community because a user leaked some personal information I had shared on DM.


Exactly, any personal data can be misused.


Without getting into the whole story, a user on that other online community built a trustworthy persona with me on DM. She ended up getting me to send her some selfies, my first name (luckily a common name), as well as the state I live in.

Then 2 weekends ago, she was asking me what I do for work. That was a red flag (luckily I didn't tell her what I do for work).

Come to find out, her and some guy on that online community were in cahoots to try to get me fired (I shared some strong political opinions on there that could get one fired). Since the guy knew there was no way he could gain my trust, he used her to gain my trust. She then gave him all the intel she got from me.

And here's the real kicker: She knows I'm on the spectrum. She took advantage of my low EQ (even though a lot of us on the spectrum, myself included, are high IQ, we tend to be low EQ).

Anyone taking advantage of ASD folk is a piece of %^&%


Wow, what bastards :? Sorry to hear about that.



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26 Aug 2024, 1:34 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?

I feel like my ASD is a shameful secret (which I don't want anyone to find out).

It's a shame (no pun intended) I feel that way, but with how stigmatized ASD is by society, I find that the ideal approach is for me to pass as neurotypical (my ASD is mild enough I can pass).

One thing I'm going to stress on this post: It's not that I think there's anything wrong with having ASD; it's that I know others think there's something wrong with having ASD.

Maybe instead of hiding your Autism you could occasionally use it to help society understand their preconceptions aren't always correct?


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26 Aug 2024, 1:46 pm

I think there's a time and place for advocacy but in my daily life I generally don't disclose. But I don't have to disclose anything for people to see that I'm really weird. And I don't care what most people think of me unless I'm hoping to make friends, in which case I usually don't even bother with NTs. Also, my generation tends to be a lot more accepting of weirdness.


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SkinnyElephant
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26 Aug 2024, 2:01 pm

Double Retired wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
Does anyone else view their ASD as a shameful secret?

I feel like my ASD is a shameful secret (which I don't want anyone to find out).

It's a shame (no pun intended) I feel that way, but with how stigmatized ASD is by society, I find that the ideal approach is for me to pass as neurotypical (my ASD is mild enough I can pass).

One thing I'm going to stress on this post: It's not that I think there's anything wrong with having ASD; it's that I know others think there's something wrong with having ASD.

Maybe instead of hiding your Autism you could occasionally use it to help society understand their preconceptions aren't always correct?


In my experience (from the one time when a past boss forced me to come clean about being on the spectrum), he then ended up putting me in a box (figuratively speaking of course). From that point on, no matter how many times I disproved certain ASD stereotypes, he was always going to infantilize/dehumanize me.



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26 Aug 2024, 3:17 pm

I'm not going to suggest you advertise it everywhere. Certainly not where existing prejudice would use it against you.

But, if anywhere in your life you can advertise it without fear of personal harm, then you might help chip away the stereotypes.

If enough of us did that, long enough, in enough different places, then maybe a few folk out there would figure out:

If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism.


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I finally knew why people were strange.