Are ruthless guys more attractive than kind, good guys?

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BillyTree
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13 Nov 2024, 10:08 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
These threads all always rather generalizing. Different women like different things.


Generalizing, yes, I think that's what he's asking about - if women in general are more attracted to ruthless guys. That individual women's taste differ goes without saying. My advice to any guy is "be yourself and stop wasting time wondering about what women prefer". If you are nice guy, why would you like to engage with women wanting a ruthless brute?


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TwilightPrincess
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13 Nov 2024, 10:13 am

I was especially responding to a specific comment which is why I quoted it.

Some women are attracted to ruthless guys, but I certainly don’t think it’s the majority. We may be more likely to notice/comment on those who go for someone ruthless than a person who goes with a nice guy because it’s more striking. People often like to have conversations that contain phrases like: “I can’t believe she went for him!”


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Escape1894
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15 Nov 2024, 12:31 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Escape1894 wrote:
Replace ruthless with confident and the answer would be yes. Don’t be a “nice” guy.

Many women are attracted to nice guys. These threads all always rather generalizing. Different women like different things.


I think we have our definitions of a “nice” guy mixed up. When I say “nice” guy, I’m talking about those who think they are entitled to things from someone (like dates, relationships, etc) because they are being nice to them.



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15 Nov 2024, 9:00 am

?????? Hmm.. well this does leave me,alittle confused ..?..?...
Guess will need to change my definition of nice guy, to Say someone with an entitled personality type?
Entitled ? predatory ? ? need clarification ?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Nov 2024, 4:51 am

Escape1894 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Escape1894 wrote:
Replace ruthless with confident and the answer would be yes. Don’t be a “nice” guy.

Many women are attracted to nice guys. These threads all always rather generalizing. Different women like different things.


I think we have our definitions of a “nice” guy mixed up. When I say “nice” guy, I’m talking about those who think they are entitled to things from someone (like dates, relationships, etc) because they are being nice to them.


Then he’s called entitled guy, let’s use the correct adjectives.



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16 Nov 2024, 7:19 am

There are a lot of variations to what women prefer but generally the more aggressive and ruthless would be deemed the more attractive overall.

It's hard to deny that they usually, but not always, have more success with women.



bee33
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16 Nov 2024, 7:40 am

Nades wrote:
There are a lot of variations to what women prefer but generally the more aggressive and ruthless would be deemed the more attractive overall.

It's hard to deny that they usually, but not always, have more success with women.
I don't understand where this notion comes from at all. I have not observed this and it's completely illogical. Everyone wants a partner who is nice and caring and warm. Why would anyone want to be with an as*hole? That typically only happens with people who are damaged in some way and seek out someone who is bad for them. I disagree with this as strongly as it is possible to disagree.



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16 Nov 2024, 7:46 am

bee33 wrote:
Nades wrote:
There are a lot of variations to what women prefer but generally the more aggressive and ruthless would be deemed the more attractive overall.

It's hard to deny that they usually, but not always, have more success with women.
I don't understand where this notion comes from at all. I have not observed this and it's completely illogical. Everyone wants a partner who is nice and caring and warm. Why would anyone want to be with an as*hole? That typically only happens with people who are damaged in some way and seek out someone who is bad for them. I disagree with this as strongly as it is possible to disagree.


Witness it all the time.



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16 Nov 2024, 8:31 am

Guess witnessing something like this , it would be directly related to want you were looking for in a relationship....
or am I mistaken , and all these guys are just thinking a "Hook Up" scenario ?


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bee33
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16 Nov 2024, 8:53 am

Nades wrote:
bee33 wrote:
Nades wrote:
There are a lot of variations to what women prefer but generally the more aggressive and ruthless would be deemed the more attractive overall.

It's hard to deny that they usually, but not always, have more success with women.
I don't understand where this notion comes from at all. I have not observed this and it's completely illogical. Everyone wants a partner who is nice and caring and warm. Why would anyone want to be with an as*hole? That typically only happens with people who are damaged in some way and seek out someone who is bad for them. I disagree with this as strongly as it is possible to disagree.


Witness it all the time.

We must live in different worlds because I have literally never seen it, though I did concede that some damaged people might look for the worst possible thing in a partner.



blitzkrieg
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16 Nov 2024, 9:09 am

I think ruthless guys probably attract attention from ruthless women in some cases at least. Folk with similar personality attributes tend to be drawn to each other.



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16 Nov 2024, 9:14 am

Sometimes ruthless people mask who they really are and seek out/actively pursue those who are vulnerable in some way. It doesn’t mean that the person who fell for their nonsense was attracted to the ruthlessness itself. Some manipulative people are good at masking who they really are.

Dynamics like this can be hard to see from the outside which may lead some to believe that specific people are attracted to ruthlessness or even aggressiveness, not that a small minority of people aren’t, but victim-blaming often happens. “Why did you date him (or her)?”

Most women are attracted to nice guys which makes logical sense, especially since awareness and concerns about IPV are extremely present in this day and age.


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16 Nov 2024, 5:20 pm

I think the notion that a fair amount of women find ruthless guys attractive comes from the observation that it's usually easy for ruthless guys to meet women. From the observer's point of view it's obvious that this is a ruthless guy and that women find him attractive. But women seem to have more difficulty to spot which men are ruthless. So when when women are protesting this notion they actually mean: "If I think a man is ruthless I don't think he is attractive."


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16 Nov 2024, 5:54 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Sometimes ruthless people mask who they really are and seek out/actively pursue those who are vulnerable in some way. It doesn’t mean that the person who fell for their nonsense was attracted to the ruthlessness itself. Some manipulative people are good at masking who they really are.


Beyond this, sometimes even really bad people will have individual people (or other living things) they're uncharacteristically kind to. That behaviour isn't always manipulative at it's core, although it may be, or, if the person is prone to splitting (alternates between holding others in extreme high regard and extreme low regard) it might appear to be in hindsight even if the high regard and associated kindness was sincere while it was being demonstrated.

Again, it doesn't mean that partner is attracted to the antisocial traits or even fully aware of them.


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16 Nov 2024, 7:26 pm

Yeah, I think it’s a hard thing to unravel. A bad person’s motives could be decent at first although, over time, it’s likely that things will gradually change or dissolve. There could also be manipulation involved on some level initially even if the manipulator thinks their motives for being manipulative aren’t ill-intentioned. I’m speaking in riddles…

Relationships are never as simple as they are portrayed in movies. Even in real life, it’s hard to comprehend situations, including if we are on the outside looking in - no matter the gender or sexual orientation of all involved. My brother, for example, was as much in the dark about my ex being a ruthless abuser than I was when I first got with him. My parents must’ve been, too, or they wouldn’t have insisted on us marrying.

No matter one’s gender or sexual orientation most people are attracted to good people. There are exceptions as well as lapses in perception and judgment for whatever reason. Generally though, I don’t think that this is that complicated of an issue. Most people want to be with someone who is nice, kind, and who will treat them with respect. From a logical AND emotional standpoint, it’s pretty straightforward.


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16 Nov 2024, 8:31 pm

Have met Sexually assertive males, whom have piqued my interest on occassion, when I was younger ....
And if your into that and that gives you satisfaction ...And have seen that repeatedly show up as brief relations .
And even enjoy that unknown quality . And often I did not wait around to see the aftermath of those times. These days being
sexual with a partner , could result in some serious consequences. If you haven't paid attn. to whom you are doing whatever with . And as you gain experience ,sometimes your values could change . And want someone,whom you might get some mileage in life ,With ?
But Assertiveness and Ruthless are quite different. imho. . . .


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