Never liked clubs but seem to miss having a social life

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

chris1989
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,220
Location: Kent, UK

31 Aug 2024, 4:44 pm

I will say though that it's untrue as I do have elements of a social life as I go to work, talk to staff and customers, see other members of family, meet on occasions at least one friend but I just feel I miss out on not having a much more social life as my other peers seem to have had especially during times when you are in your late teens/early 20s as I seem to think it was something that people did at that age, going down on a weekend with your mates from school, college etc down to a pub, a nightclub or a party at someone's house or going out to somewhere nice with friends like at a concert or a day out in London with a lot of selfies.

I did go on a couple of occasions go on a pub crawl with a few school friends and my sister but one of which just seemed to be boring after a while as all we did was hang around in a public garden and chat for ages. I even went to a club where a family friend was playing in a band but left due to flashing lights in there. Sometimes I look at these experiences and say to myself "Well, look I tried some of these things and didnt always like them. There must be more to life than just being a young adult and getting drunk, partying and clubbing all the time?"

Yet despite these counter arguments in my head I still get the FOMO (fear of missing out) thoughts as though those things young people do are the norm and that to grow up not experiencing it makes me feel as though I haven't "lived life" which sounds ridiculous.



Carbonhalo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,106
Location: Musoria

31 Aug 2024, 4:53 pm

I'd like to say "It's never too late", but I'm starting to wonder.
I don't expect I have that much time left to party, but I haven't yet finished collecting smiles from pretty girls :D



uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,358

07 Sep 2024, 4:14 pm

Firstly, you are correct - there is more to life than drinking and parties. TV, Movies, and Social Media aren't real life, and it's not helpful to treat them like they are. Not everyone parties and drinks and clubs. Not everyone leads the rockstar life. Not even among kids and young adults. For whatever reason, people get waaaaay too hyperfocused on bars and clubs as though that's the only way to meet people or have fun.

The world at large finds their social lives wherever they like to be. Some groups go to dinner and hit up a movie. Some people go to the mall or a park. Some people go to the beach. Some go to libraries or museums. Some go to thrift shops and second-hand stores. Comic shops and bookstores and hobby and craft retailers. Literally anyplace the public is allowed to go, can be a place to go and socialize about a common interest, and potentially have fun, having a social life. The common interest doesn't have to be liquor and clubbing. It can be literally anything you like.

But that's the thing - you have to actually like stuff. You have to actually have interests. And no, the interests don't have to be partying and drinking. If you like going to museums, go to museums. If you like going to waterparks, go to waterparks. If you like zoos or aquariums, go to those. Go wherever you like. But you gotta actually like stuff. Not cos "other people", and not cos "FOMO", but because you did it, and liked doing it, and want to do it again.

How many things have you tried doing for fun, other than some form of party-life drinking dancing clubbing type thing? Try doing some stuff, NOT party-related.

What even DO you like?