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berardi
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28 Aug 2007, 12:54 pm

I just bought a new car and my friend was teaching me to drive manual. She kept yelling at me when I did something wrong, and saying I'm not listening. My problem is that I have trouble listening when I'm focused on driving.

Is this Aspergers in effect or is this neurotypical and she's just being an ass? If it is Asperger's how do I explain to her my problem? I already told her I have trouble listening when I'm focused on something. I asked her to give me positive commands like what to do, and not what not to do. She said I'm just making excuses and said I just need to try harder.

I really would like to try to do better at listening while I'm doing something but I really feel like it's a cognitive impairment that makes it difficult and how can you work on that? I asked her to simplify her instructions for me and keep them positive rather than negative as it's proven that they are more easily recognizable to the brain. It's harder because I've just realized I might have this disorder.

So if anyone could comment on whehter or not the behavior I've mentioned is typical of Aspergers I would appreciate it.

Thanks,

Matt



Last edited by berardi on 29 Aug 2007, 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

0_equals_true
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28 Aug 2007, 12:58 pm

there is not enough information to say you have Aspergers. But it sounds like you have Central Auditory Processing Disorder or similar, which something you can have with Aspergers or not.



squatterandtheant
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28 Aug 2007, 1:08 pm

Don't think so. I don't think an Aspie would be dumb enough to allow a chick to show him how to drive a stick shift! lol



berardi
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28 Aug 2007, 1:33 pm

LOL good one squatter - but she owns and runs her own body shop and towing company so she's no stranger to the automobile.

I should give more details to myself to help:
- I have very narrow interests - usually 1 - 3 at a time.
- I think logically and in decision making I am anal retentive about making sure it's the exact correct decision. I research my decisions extensively.
- Socially I am weak, very quiet and never sure what to say. Individually one on one however I can have indepth conversations with ease.

My gf's mother works with Autistic children and she has told my gf that she believes I have Aspergers, this is how I came upon this.

Thanks again,
Matt



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28 Aug 2007, 1:58 pm

Learning to drive a stick is a pain in the ass aspergers or not. I learned to drive by just stealing the car at night and cruising around after many times being yelled at by my mom.
Maybe the best solution for you is learning on your own?


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squatterandtheant
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28 Aug 2007, 2:02 pm

Yeah there's an online test you can do. Not sure where. I sure someone will post a link.......
Anyway welcome to WP and good luck!



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28 Aug 2007, 2:02 pm

The DSM IV criteria are below. All you have to do is meet any two of A, one of B, meet C through F, and you're in!


DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (DSM IV)

A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction,
as manifested by at least two of the following:

1) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviours such
as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures
to regulate social interaction;

2) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental
level;

3) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or
achievments with other people (eg: by a lack of showing, bringing,
or pointing out objects of interest to other people);

4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity.

B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behaviour, interests,
and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

1) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and
restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity
or focus;

2) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines
or rituals;

3) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (eg: hand or finger
flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements);

4) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social,
occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language
(eg: single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by
age 3 years).

E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in
the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behaviour
(other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in
childhood.

F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental
Disorder, or Schizophrenia.



berardi
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28 Aug 2007, 2:04 pm

devster21 wrote:
Learning to drive a stick is a pain in the ass aspergers or not. I learned to drive by just stealing the car at night and cruising around after many times being yelled at by my mom.
Maybe the best solution for you is learning on your own?


Funny you should say that -

I was struggling just getting first gear right and we started fighting and got to the point where she was distracting me so much with her NO NO NO NO that I couldn't think.

Finally I told her OK GET OUTTA THE CAR so I can think. She got out and I kept practicing and a half hour later I told her to get back in we were going for a ride. I still am learning the rolling, downshifting parts and knowing the gears and thats what I wanted her to teach me but perhaps I should just learn on my own. I'm just afraid to damage the car. lol

As for the aspergers I should also say I've always spoken very formally even amongst friends. I have trouble relating to people and I am horrible at putting myself in other people's shoes.

Although I am fighting with her while learning stick shift, I don't believe I have horrible motor movements as I've played tennis and other sports forever and done well.



Spaceplayer
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28 Aug 2007, 2:22 pm

Berardi, whether or not it's Asperger's, I can relate.

" She kept yelling at me when I did something wrong, and saying I'm not listening. My problem is that I have trouble listening when I'm focused on driving.

Is this Aspergers in effect or is this neurotypical and she's just being an ass? If it is Asperger's how do I explain to her my problem? I already told her I have trouble listening when I'm focused on something. I asked her to give me positive commands like what to do, and not what not to do. She said I'm just making excuses and said I just need to try harder. "


If I had a nickel for everyone who's yelled at me...from parents to teachers to siblings to employers. I had one boss, a carpet installer, who called me all sorts of names. I started to eat and put on weight out of stress, because I thought I really was an idiot. I'm not dumb, but I've been called Space Cadet, airhead, etc. I tend to blank out when people try to teach me things through demonstrations. I've been told by one person that I'm the smartest and stupidest person they know! I've even been asked if I was dyslexic. This was all before I knew about Aspergers.

But to play devil's advocate, and give you something to think about: Sure, some of those people were asses. Example, even though my carpet boss was an ass, I also know that he meant well, because he spent a lot of time and energy trying to educate me, something he didn't have to do. It does appear sometimes that we aren't paying attention, though you and I know full well that we are, but that there's a problem. Some of them simply did not communicate well. But the common denominator was that they all had the same reaction to me, so it works both ways. I couldn't follow them, they couldn't understand why. All you can do on your part is explain your situation. If they are reasonable, they will work with it. If they react the way your friend did, claiming that you're just making excuses, well...might not have to cut them off, but they aren't the teacher for you, for sure.

Once I learned about all this, I was able to find the way that worked best for me, to find my niche. You do the same, and you'll be much happier.



UncleBeer
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28 Aug 2007, 2:44 pm

squatterandtheant wrote:
Yeah there's an online test you can do. Not sure where. I sure someone will post a link.......


Here's the short one, by Simon Baron-Cohen that appeared in Wired magazine awhile ago: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html (Interesting factoid: Simon Baron-Cohen is the cousin of Sacha Baron-Cohen, better known as "Ali G." and "Borat").

Here's a link to the more extensive online test: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php



arem
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28 Aug 2007, 5:49 pm

The Wired AQ test is broken, and has been for some time. Google for "AQ Test", there are plenty of others that are the same.


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0_equals_true
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28 Aug 2007, 5:53 pm

arem wrote:
The Wired AQ test is broken, and has been for some time. Google for "AQ Test", there are plenty of others that are the same.

It is not exactly difficult to score though



Boutique
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03 Sep 2007, 7:03 pm

Spaceplayer wrote:

I've been told by one person that I'm the smartest and stupidest person they know!


Yes, my mother used to tell me that I am the most intelligent person on Earth who has NO common sense! I used to get quite irritated by that until I realized that she was right. 8O



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17 Feb 2008, 7:22 pm

squatterandtheant wrote:
Don't think so. I don't think an Aspie would be dumb enough to allow a chick to show him how to drive a stick shift! lol

spot on


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Trugen
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22 Feb 2008, 4:05 pm

pandabear wrote:
The DSM IV criteria are below. All you have to do is meet any two of A, one of B, meet C through F, and you're in!


DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER (DSM IV)

A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction,
as manifested by at least two of the following:

1) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviours such
as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures
to regulate social interaction;

2) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental
level;

3) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or
achievments with other people (eg: by a lack of showing, bringing,
or pointing out objects of interest to other people);

4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity.

B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behaviour, interests,
and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

1) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and
restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity
or focus;

2) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines
or rituals;

3) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (eg: hand or finger
flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements);

4) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social,
occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language
(eg: single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by
age 3 years).

E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in
the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behaviour
(other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in
childhood.

F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental
Disorder, or Schizophrenia.


you forgot the gilbergs report diagnoses


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Name: Yoshiyahu
Drive to Madness: Love..........and power!! !! !! !! !! !! !
Omni: Potent
Omni: Temp
Face of Madness: Myself :twisted: