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bee33
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10 Sep 2024, 1:52 am

Many people with ASD are independent and value their alone time. I am not one of them. I need to have a companion with me at all times. And although I have a lovely boyfriend, we only see each other a couple times a week and I feel alone most of the time. I also need someone to help me, so there's a practical as well as emotional concern. Everything is hard for me to manage, from putting together my taxes to getting a person to come out and install an internet connection, and so far I have just put those things off because I can't handle them. But I don't want to be a burden on my companion and partner. It's kind of an unsolvable conundrum.



ToughDiamond
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10 Sep 2024, 4:20 am

Yes I've always needed people in my life. It's not just the comforting feeling of having friends, though that's very important. It's also the practical need. Generally speaking humans do better in groups than alone. Mutual protection and assistance.



CockneyRebel
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10 Sep 2024, 4:50 am

I need people in my life. There's a clubhouse that I go to most days. I also have outreach as well. I'm just one of those types who needs people.


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bee33
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10 Sep 2024, 10:37 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Yes I've always needed people in my life. It's not just the comforting feeling of having friends, though that's very important. It's also the practical need. Generally speaking humans do better in groups than alone. Mutual protection and assistance.

I agree and I feel that way too. Two months ago there was a hurricane here and I went and stayed at my boyfriend's house for a few days. He couldn't protect me from the hurricane, of course, but I felt completely unafraid, whereas if I'd been at home alone with the wind howling outside it would have been very unsettling and I would have found it very hard to handle.



bee33
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10 Sep 2024, 10:38 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I need people in my life. There's a clubhouse that I go to most days. I also have outreach as well. I'm just one of those types who needs people.
I'm glad that you have your clubhouse.



Edna3362
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10 Sep 2024, 11:12 am

I'm not really sure.

I don't rely on them that's for sure.
Rarely ever brought me any joy.


The only need I can sense from myself ever needing others is familiarity, a platform or a rapport, an attachment and existential stability that came with it.

It doesn't matter if they're even there at all, as long as they're certainly alive somewhere and will welcome me if I ever asked.


But that's it, really.
I hope to outgrow needing any attachment.


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Carbonhalo
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10 Sep 2024, 5:42 pm

At least one.
I can go months without seeing anyone but my partner, as we live in the middle of a forest.
I'm usually happy with this unless I have a current obsession. (Potential or new lover)
I'm alone with the dogs this month...but I have a new obsession.
(Perhaps Luckily) I don't have her phone number.



funeralxempire
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10 Sep 2024, 5:46 pm

Sometimes, but it comes and goes.


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10 Sep 2024, 10:01 pm

I suspect that I need people more than I think I do. I do enjoy engaging in special interests on my own and am never bored. Still, I get lonely sometimes.


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Kitty4670
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13 Sep 2024, 9:48 pm

bee33 wrote:
Many people with ASD are independent and value their alone time. I am not one of them. I need to have a companion with me at all times. And although I have a lovely boyfriend, we only see each other a couple times a week and I feel alone most of the time. I also need someone to help me, so there's a practical as well as emotional concern. Everything is hard for me to manage, from putting together my taxes to getting a person to come out and install an internet connection, and so far I have just put those things off because I can't handle them. But I don't want to be a burden on my companion and partner. It's kind of an unsolvable conundrum.




It hard for me to manage alot too, I never done taxes, it very hard with numbers, it hurt my head, makes me want to scream & cry. I have trouble too with calling someone to come out & install my internet, I have trouble finding doctors too, I have trouble buying furiniture, I did ok with buying my recline chair, but buying my conch was hard, I messed up on the shipping, it took me all day to put my floor lamp together, I had alot of anxeity. My sister think I can do alot of stuff.



Kitty4670
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13 Sep 2024, 9:50 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I need people in my life. There's a clubhouse that I go to most days. I also have outreach as well. I'm just one of those types who needs people.


where the pic of you.



Kitty4670
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13 Sep 2024, 10:05 pm

I need some people in my life, I really can't handle alot of people, I'm very happy with my online friends, my cat, my sister is ok, I have my nephew, but I want a boyfriend.



flat_affect
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14 Sep 2024, 8:28 am

bee33 wrote:
Many people with ASD are independent and value their alone time. I am not one of them. I need to have a companion with me at all times. And although I have a lovely boyfriend, we only see each other a couple times a week and I feel alone most of the time. I also need someone to help me, so there's a practical as well as emotional concern. Everything is hard for me to manage, from putting together my taxes to getting a person to come out and install an internet connection, and so far I have just put those things off because I can't handle them. But I don't want to be a burden on my companion and partner. It's kind of an unsolvable conundrum.

Very similar to me. When things are going well, I like having people around, as long as there is minimal interaction and they don't make a lot of noise.
But, currently, with the social and sensory demands of my job, I don't even want to leave the house when I'm not working.
I have always struggled with basic adult responsibilities and I know it will only get harder as I age. I've already had a brain stem stroke and a couple TIA's, so the process is already underway.
As far as having a girlfriend, it's difficult. I know I'm hard to live with and I haven't figured out how to have the type of autism-friendly relationship that some others have managed to find.


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14 Sep 2024, 8:53 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
It hard for me to manage alot too, I never done taxes, it very hard with numbers, it hurt my head, makes me want to scream & cry. I have trouble too with calling someone to come out & install my internet, I have trouble finding doctors too, I have trouble buying furiniture, I did ok with buying my recline chair, but buying my conch was hard, I messed up on the shipping, it took me all day to put my floor lamp together, I had alot of anxeity. My sister think I can do alot of stuff.

I can relate to much of this. I have a hard time with things related to health care; I struggle to make important phone calls, do my taxes. I've had to discontinue some psych meds because they make things worse, even at low doses.


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renaeden
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18 Sep 2024, 3:43 am

I used to live alone and I loved it. Everything I did was without input by others.

Circumstances changed though, and now I'm living with my ex who I still love very much. We just don't do well as a couple. I feel as though I have the best of both worlds - I still do what I like but I've always got someone to talk to should I need it.



bee33
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18 Sep 2024, 9:59 am

My relationship style is to be glued together at all times. That's what I would like. But my boyfriend is more independent, and also, right now, I am so sick with my chronic fatigue that I feel I would not be able to be present for him even if he wanted to be with me all the time. I don't even feel that I can bring it up with him. He is very lovely and I'm lucky, I'm not complaining.