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Lost_dragon
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16 Sep 2024, 5:35 pm

Hopefully, this will be a useful thread.

I'll go first. Recently, I learnt that being used as a descriptor is not always a negative thing. For example - 'I summoned my inner Lost_dragon today'. A friend said this recently regarding putting up a display. I was confused because the display looked nice but I'm used to only being a descriptor negatively, so I figured she was being sarcastic and self-deprecating in her display presentation skills. I expressed my confusion and she explained that she simply meant that I was known for design and she was proud of her work (indirectly complimenting me).

What's a mistake you've made in a conversation that you've learnt from?


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Carbonhalo
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16 Sep 2024, 7:43 pm

I've learned to limit talking when it's to more than one person at a time.
If I construct a sentence for one person I phrase it such that I know the recipient will Interpret it as intended. Anyone else within earshot seems prone to interpret differently.

When my handle is used as a descriptor it is inevitably negative, but not aimed at me.
"Channelling ones inner Halo" usually refers experiencing a hilariously unlikely cascade failure.



Edna3362
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16 Sep 2024, 11:25 pm

Nothing.


Almost all of my mistakes are coming from having to deal with emotional dysregulation and overall having executive dysfunction unable to make up for my language processing issues.

Anything else is explicitly explained to me, and how some of my household habits just sucks and how some of the collective household habit sucks.

Again even with that, stupid executive dysfunction making me forget.



I believe I'll get them all so-called skills as soon as I solve the EFD problem.
And I refuse to perform mental gymnastics on something so mundane.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 16 Sep 2024, 11:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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16 Sep 2024, 11:26 pm

Same. Nothing. I don't learn from mistakes. Most of time I don't even know what I did wrong, and even if I did know I can't apply one situation onto another in real time.


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Fnord
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16 Sep 2024, 11:29 pm

Never openly disagree with the person who reviews your job performance and/or signs your paycheck.


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Sep 2024, 11:34 pm

My autistic daughter just negotiated herself a huge raise after disagreeing with the direction of the company.

It worked well for her.


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bee33
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17 Sep 2024, 5:37 am

I have a tendency to feel apologetic for being awkward and tongue tied but I have learned that people don't like hearing "I'm sorry." It just comes off as annoying to other people and it's better to just try to go with the flow, awkwardness and all.



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17 Sep 2024, 3:03 pm

If I have to think about whether something I want to say will be funny, then it isn't, and I shouldn't say it.



funeralxempire
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17 Sep 2024, 3:11 pm

bee33 wrote:
I have a tendency to feel apologetic for being awkward and tongue tied but I have learned that people don't like hearing "I'm sorry." It just comes off as annoying to other people and it's better to just try to go with the flow, awkwardness and all.


Similar to this, I've learned that it's better to be confidently awkward rather than being awkward about being awkward.


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FemmeDimanche
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29 Sep 2024, 5:35 pm

Honestly... nothing. Except to be less open about everything. And to be less creepy about certain topics.



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08 Oct 2024, 7:06 pm

Thinking people hate or dislike me when really they don’t care or being far too direct which I find NT’s tend to weaponize their response to. It’s only too harsh when they feel like it’s too harsh and there’s no singular rule about what’s too harsh or why.



colliegrace
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09 Oct 2024, 1:13 am

So many of my meltdowns at work could be avoided by use of direct communication. This is something I'm discovering.

I dunno if many of those are avoidable unless people like.... actually tell me when stuff I do bothers them. Cuz s**t.... I'm NOT gonna get the hint unless you tell me.

Maybe part of this is being like.... hey I kinda have issues taking hints. If you're upset with me you need to actually tell me.


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jamie0.0
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22 Oct 2024, 9:04 pm

Being a good listener doesn't necessarily make me a good friend.
One must be able to articulate their experiences to avoid being seen as boring, yet at the same time not oversharing or talking about myself too long.
I've spent a lifetime trying to master the flow of conversation, and I'm still not proficient.



colliegrace
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27 Oct 2024, 7:53 pm

So apparently the tendency to ramble and overexplain stuff in order to avoid misunderstandings.... just creates more misunderstandings.

I'm learning that if possible it's best to keep that stuff to a minimum. And clarify further only if prompted or if it seems necessary.


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ASD level 1, ADHD-C, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD