Aspie dating success stories

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Nades
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02 Oct 2024, 4:15 am

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
For this reason lets not make WP more uncomfortable by continually reporting certain members for merely making observations.


Are they being reported for 'merely making observations' or for making sexist generalizations?

If one's 'mere observations' are consistently synonymous with sexist generalizations ones should anticipate those observations being treated as sexist generalizations.


Problem is, even if an individual makes a sexist generalisation from what they personally observed, it might actually be statistically proven and very credible when applied to an entire demographic, no longer making it a sexist generalisation but simply a proven fact. So far, its common for these initial sexist generalizations to be countered with other dismissive generalizations like "ahhh well, I am or know someone who knows someone who knows someone else who isn't like this" or even just a slur, as if this somehow detracts away from the broader point being made.

Whether it's offensive or not is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned and people shouldn't to tip tow around the delicate sensibilities of others.

Anyway, I'm out.



Last edited by Nades on 02 Oct 2024, 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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02 Oct 2024, 4:26 am

Yeah there's going to be a WP member who is wheelchair bound, no legs, stutter and who is overweight and unemployed who is going to post here one day and say he wishes he had a g/f but he's never been able to find a girl friend and nobody will talk to him or be his friend and that women won't date men like him.

then the dude is going to be met by comments like "I wouldn't have a problem dating a guy like this, what's his problem? I know a guy who has no legs or arms who dates lots of women" He just needs to be himself and stop making generalisations about women.



TwilightPrincess
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02 Oct 2024, 4:53 am

It doesn’t surprise me at all that some of you resort to bad faith arguments when it comes to this topic.

Nades wrote:
Whether it's offensive or not is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned and people shouldn't to tip tow around the delicate sensibilities of others.
Considering that this is a support forum, whether something is offensive or not is extremely relevant and should be considered, ideally before posting here. There are other platforms folks can utilize if they want to make sexist generalizations or engage in other forms of sexism; WP isn’t one of them.



IsabellaLinton
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02 Oct 2024, 5:05 am

Fixed it for you.

Quote:
Yeah there's going to be a WP member who is wheelchair bound, no legs, stutter and who is overweight and unemployed who is going to post here one day and say he wishes he had a g/f but he's never been able to find a girl friend and nobody will talk to him or be his friend and that women won't date men like him.

then the dude is going to be met by comments like "I wouldn't have a problem dating a guy like this, what's his problem? I know a guy who has no legs or arms who dates lots of women" He just needs to be himself and stop making generalisations about women, stop mocking and bullying women, stop breaking rules and ignoring the admin on support sites, and stop pretending the concept of gender equality is too damned hard to understand even though he "gets it" for all other demographics since he's a really great guy.


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Canadian Freedom Lover
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02 Oct 2024, 5:52 am

I don't understand why everyone is so upset. It's just a thread on a bloody forum.

Everyone needs to take a chill pill and agree to disagree on this subject.

If your getting your feelings hurt by something someone says on the internet, I think there should be some inward reflection done on that person's behalf. Is this really the hill that you want to die on?



IsabellaLinton
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02 Oct 2024, 5:56 am

I'm not upset or dying on hills.

I answered your thread several times with examples of success stories including my own.

Would you like to know more about my relationship, or should I tell you about other autistics who found love?


*Also please note, the derails were made by men.


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Double Retired
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02 Oct 2024, 10:16 am

I'm annoyed and I can explain why. The topic is "Aspie dating success stories".

Very little of this discussion here is about that.

The label suggests Aspies can come to this thread and read a happy story. That is pretty much not true.

I'm not saying this discussion should not be on WP. I just don't think it belongs in this thread.

If someone starts a suitably-labeled thread that would be a good place for this discussion. But it would be nice if the thread gave Aspies tested-and-proven ideas on how to do successful dating, things that worked, based upon documented evidence regarding the target population rather than plausible-sounding speculation and assertions.

In my 20s and 30s I could have really used some useful ideas and pointers. That is, ideas based upon facts and experience, not on opinions, wishful thinking, and whingeing.

Though I suppose it would be perfectly reasonable to have a thread for venting and whingeing on the topic...but the thread should be suitably-labeled so folk know what to expect.

P.S. In case my bride reads this, things worked out wonderfully for me even if not timefully. I'm glad I finally found you!


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IsabellaLinton
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02 Oct 2024, 11:16 am

An autistic guy friend of mine is happily married and has three kids. He was quite successful with women prior to getting married, too. He had lots of hookups and short / longterm relationships starting in late high school.


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Carbonhalo
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02 Oct 2024, 7:17 pm

I thought everyone has issues with sex or intimacy.



WantToHaveALife
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02 Oct 2024, 9:56 pm

Carbonhalo wrote:
I thought everyone has issues with sex or intimacy.


i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF because it was basically a sexless relationship



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02 Oct 2024, 9:58 pm

Double Retired wrote:
I'm annoyed and I can explain why. The topic is "Aspie dating success stories".

Very little of this discussion here is about that.

The label suggests Aspies can come to this thread and read a happy story. That is pretty much not true.

I'm not saying this discussion should not be on WP. I just don't think it belongs in this thread.

If someone starts a suitably-labeled thread that would be a good place for this discussion. But it would be nice if the thread gave Aspies tested-and-proven ideas on how to do successful dating, things that worked, based upon documented evidence regarding the target population rather than plausible-sounding speculation and assertions.

In my 20s and 30s I could have really used some useful ideas and pointers. That is, ideas based upon facts and experience, not on opinions, wishful thinking, and whingeing.

Though I suppose it would be perfectly reasonable to have a thread for venting and whingeing on the topic...but the thread should be suitably-labeled so folk know what to expect.

P.S. In case my bride reads this, things worked out wonderfully for me even if not timefully. I'm glad I finally found you!

Thanks Double Retired,

Yes that was my original intention. But you can't control what other people say or do, and since I am a proponent of free speech I welcome all kinds of discussions and conversations.



Benjamin the Donkey
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02 Oct 2024, 10:51 pm

I've been in a very happy relationship for over 5 years. In fact, it's by far the best relationship I've ever had. I consider that a success story.


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cyberdad
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03 Oct 2024, 12:45 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Carbonhalo wrote:
I thought everyone has issues with sex or intimacy.


i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF because it was basically a sexless relationship


Still qualifies as it involved dates and she spoke to you and was your friend. (alas just no benefits)



Double Retired
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03 Oct 2024, 11:49 am

Canadian Freedom Lover wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
I'm annoyed and I can explain why. The topic is "Aspie dating success stories".

Very little of this discussion here is about that.

The label suggests Aspies can come to this thread and read a happy story. That is pretty much not true.

I'm not saying this discussion should not be on WP. I just don't think it belongs in this thread.

If someone starts a suitably-labeled thread that would be a good place for this discussion. But it would be nice if the thread gave Aspies tested-and-proven ideas on how to do successful dating, things that worked, based upon documented evidence regarding the target population rather than plausible-sounding speculation and assertions.

In my 20s and 30s I could have really used some useful ideas and pointers. That is, ideas based upon facts and experience, not on opinions, wishful thinking, and whingeing.

Though I suppose it would be perfectly reasonable to have a thread for venting and whingeing on the topic...but the thread should be suitably-labeled so folk know what to expect.

P.S. In case my bride reads this, things worked out wonderfully for me even if not timefully. I'm glad I finally found you!

Thanks Double Retired,

Yes that was my original intention. But you can't control what other people say or do, and since I am a proponent of free speech I welcome all kinds of discussions and conversations.
I looked at this thread to see the happy stories. I think happy stories could've cheered the younger me up...reassure me there was still hope. And happy stories now could make me fell more human. I hope that message gets across to some of the younger Aspies.

The other hypothetical threads I mentioned could also be good to have. Folk could share what did and did not work for them. And they could do the venting that seems to have crept into this thread. (I'm not sure how much I could contribute to them, however. Yes, I finally changed myself in a way that helped me get a happy story, but the bulk of my story would consist of waiting and sheer luck. And I think it safest if I don't vent; my bride has a WP account...she'd likely prefer I was happy with my story since in it I (finally) found her.


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WantToHaveALife
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08 Oct 2024, 12:06 am

cyberdad wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Carbonhalo wrote:
I thought everyone has issues with sex or intimacy.


i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF because it was basically a sexless relationship


Still qualifies as it involved dates and she spoke to you and was your friend. (alas just no benefits)


yeah, nevertheless, i doubt i will swear off all autistic women forever, its just that, in case i do meet another autistic woman, its a matter of expressing that to me, sex and physical intimacy is a non-negotiable requirement for me in a relationship, we are having it or we won't be dating, we won't be a couple then.



Canadian Freedom Lover
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08 Oct 2024, 12:24 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, nevertheless, i doubt i will swear off all autistic women forever, its just that, in case i do meet another autistic woman, its a matter of expressing that to me, sex and physical intimacy is a non-negotiable requirement for me in a relationship, we are having it or we won't be dating, we won't be a couple then.


Sounds pretty reasonable to me. I mean what's dating without sex? That's just a glorified friendship if you ask me.