Not knowing what I am in life
Hello, this is my first post so please correct me if I’m posting wrong or if there is any improvements I can make going forward.
I found this forum and felt like it would be a great place to learn about myself. I was diagnosed as a kid and went to therapy for the first 18 years of my life.
Recently I’ve been having a problem when going into the work force. I feel as if I am very different from people and people point it out all the time. I’ve tried telling them that I have autism and I always get to I’m just weird or quirky and that my life is too well put together for me to have autism.
Has anyone else had a similar feeling that you don’t belong to either groups of people and if so what do you do to feel less like this?
Double Retired
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Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,175
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
Welcome to WP!
And I have a different life-path than you and it affects my response to your question.
My diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) with an additional note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.
I got the diagnosis in 2019, shortly before my 65th birthday.
I was born in 1954 and Asperger's Syndrome was not added to the DSM until 1994—the year I turned 40. So, for most of my life there was no available diagnosis for me other than "weird" (or similar adjectives). But I definitely was not like everyone else, I just didn't know what my difference was.
I suspected I was treated differently than the other kids, and a frequent target for the bullies, because of my intelligence—because I could not think of any other reason. (Standardized tests consistently indicated I was more intelligent than most of the other kids in my classes.) I knew virtually nothing about Autism or Asperger's Syndrome; I had no suspicion I was Autistic and if someone had suggested it I would've thought they were either stupid or mean.
It wasn't until I was 64 that happenstances gave me a hint to read about Autism.
The diagnosis surprised me and delights me. I finally understand my life better.
But I got the diagnosis late enough in life that it has had very little impact on my life. The ways that I can think of that the diagnosis has affected me are:
- I understand my life so much better than I did before
- Wrong Planet
- When my bride bumps up against one of my Autistic traits I can tell her:
I have a doctor's note for that!
I have tried to get my various medical providers (I am old!) to adjust to my Autism...but so far with little success.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
Depending on what kind of weird you are, you may feel more at home in a community with a higher concentration of the equally weird. I found acceptance for many years in the entertainment industry. Academia and the medical community are places you don't have to mask intelligence.
What are you good at?
Double Retired
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Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,175
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
While I'm pretty sure Carbonhalo's question was directed to Thegreatsamson, I'll I mention what weird community I was in.
I was educated in computers. I worked in computers. I was in computers starting in 1971.
By the way, the world of computers was way outside the mainstream back then.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,176
Location: Portland, Oregon
Welcome to Wrong Planet!
I rarely feel like I belong anywhere. How I deal with it, like others have said, is by finding spaces where people are just as weird as me. That includes Wrong Planet, a group of neurodivergent students at my school, and the very few friends I have. These are the only places where I do feel like I belong. Hopefully this site can do the same for you.
_________________
Diagnosed ASD/ADHD age 5. Finally understood that age 17.
Have very strong opinions so sorry if I offend anyone--I still respect your opinion.
Neutral pronouns preferred but anything is fine.
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports.
Hi!
I feel like I don't belong to NT or ND group, but it's because I was diagnosed just recently and my traits are pretty mild, so I feel like in the gray area between two groups. I guess a good way is not to look at labels too much, but just look for people who are weird in a way that you like They're often hard to find, but I hope you'll find some here.
You don't have to worry about it. As they say, there are no wrong questions and no right answers
_________________
Recently diagnosed with ASD, still skeptical.
Feel free to PM me if you want to or are really bored.
Either overthink or don't think at all - there's no middle way.
Thegreatsamson, Welcome to Wrong Planet.
You asked, "Has anyone else had a similar feeling that you don’t belong to either groups of people and if so what do you do to feel less like this?"
That is an interesting question. I am different then other people NTs (neurotypicals) because I am an ND (neurodiverse). What I have done in life is BE MYSELF. Some people hate me, some people cannot understand me, some people fear me. But they do not know me. I am a very friendly person and most people (NTs) arrive at a false conclusion of who I am.
So the best answer I can give to your question is BE YOURSELF.
_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
Gentleman Argentum
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Joined: 24 Aug 2019
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 866
Location: State of Euphoria
I found this forum and felt like it would be a great place to learn about myself. I was diagnosed as a kid and went to therapy for the first 18 years of my life.
Recently I’ve been having a problem when going into the work force. I feel as if I am very different from people and people point it out all the time. I’ve tried telling them that I have autism and I always get to I’m just weird or quirky and that my life is too well put together for me to have autism.
Has anyone else had a similar feeling that you don’t belong to either groups of people and if so what do you do to feel less like this?
I felt likewise, like an alien from another planet. So, my advice is blend in, copy their ways, do as they do, agree or remain silent. When you run afoul of their systems and conventions, make a note about them, that is how you learn.
It is true, others will make fun and jeer or get offended. As an Aspie I learned to build up a tough skin and just roll with the punches.
Everyone runs afoul of the group's norms once in a while, even the NTs, it is OK. Don't sweat it. Once you learn their rules then it gets easy.
Just take time...
_________________
My magical motto is Animus facit nobilem. I like to read fantasy and weird fiction. Just a few of my favorite online things: music, chess, and dungeon crawl stone soup.
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