Hi all,
Can we have a thread where we post red-flag strategies that we've noticed
with cultural context and maybe age-group information? The idea would be if
something feels of WP users can go and check to see if there is a pattern logged in the
thread.
Example entry:
context: Western english-speaking informal, 30-40s, Mirroring
Description: Say what the other person says but about yourself and change a few details. Also
can mirror body language or behaviors.
eg.
- "I have a dog that is sick."
- "Yes and I also have a dog but it isn't sick"
Variants/similar to:
- agreeing.
Effect: creates a feeling of closeness through implication that there is someone else like
you with your experiences and interest. Even if you are aware that something is off this works.
It is a subtle form of flattery.
Risk : People can use it to make a fake friend then discard you on a whim after they have what they need.
Things they might want: attention, gossip, therapy, to recruit you.
Anything else : can form part of a cycle of narcissistic or sociopathic abuse. After the discard, when the person
comes back they will probe for animosity, provide an excuse, and profuse apologies.
Red flags: Can be normal behaviour, look for over-use, inconsistencies/lies, differences in communication
when communicating with their other friends.
Defense : remain more emotionally aloof, don't share as much about yourself, check in with trusted friends.