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Aspiegirl89
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30 Aug 2007, 7:05 pm

My neighbor just found out that her son has AS; I think he's 10 or so. Anyway, I get this frantic phone call (which really freaks me out; I guess that's just MY Asperger's showing through) last night at 21:00 and it's my neighbor who's totally spazzing. She started asking me all these questions about AS and autism and I desperately wanted to help her but he was so hysterical that all I could do was hang up the phone (phone conversations were never my strength) after attempting to calm her down and trying to make sense of the verbage she was throwing at me.

How should I go about this? What should I tell her about AS? Obviously she should get him a therapist so he can attempt to learn social skills (he seems to have pretty mild AS I guess, but I'll admit I haven't seen him recently).

The only thing I think I got across to her was that she should look for books at the library or borders.


What should I do?

--aspiegirl89


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arem
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30 Aug 2007, 8:05 pm

Recommending books is a great way to go, IMHO.

If they have email access, you might find it easier to do question-and-answers over that. Let her know it's your preference (and how the phone call affects you). If she learns things like that from you now, it'll likely make things easier between her & her child later on.

In the mean-time, a bullet-point list of common traits, common problems, and ways to solve problems (eg. what to do if the kid has a meltdown) would probably be good.


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EvilTeach
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31 Aug 2007, 12:27 pm

You will have a neighbor that will understand.

#1) Turn her on to this site.
#2) See number 1

play it from there.

You may be able to get a mutual support thing going,
which would be good for both of you and your kids.



jaleb
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31 Aug 2007, 1:48 pm

you could give her a list of email links that are helpful, if there are any support groups in your area you could tell her about that, and tell her about Tony Attwood's books also.

from past experience, it is overwhelming to a parent when you first get the dx. It takes a little while for it to sink in.


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Smelena
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31 Aug 2007, 7:01 pm

I agree with Jaleb, when you first get the diagnosis (as a parent) it is overwhelming.

Definantly put her on to WP - this website saved my sanity!

Having an understanding neighbour like yourself will make easier for her.

I would also tell her to get in touch with the local autism/asperger's society. Joining a support group with other parents is helpful.

What I've come to realise is that having 2 sons with Asperger's is neither good nor bad - it is just different.

Helen



jaleb
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31 Aug 2007, 9:51 pm

What I've come to realise is that having 2 sons with Asperger's is neither good nor bad - it is just different.

Helen



ditto


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siuan
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06 Sep 2007, 4:30 pm

See, I think I'm an oddball. I didn't experience overwhelming feelings, except that of RELIEF, upon learning of Asperger's. What we had been going through had a name. Once you know your opponent's name, you can meet any challenge.


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BugsMom
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07 Sep 2007, 12:50 pm

I agree that pointing your neighbor to this site is a great idea--I was so overwhelmed and scared when my son was first diagnosed, and this place was a godsend.